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Jan 2021 · 76
I Just Want to be Okay
cyairraa Jan 2021
I just want to be okay
I just want to be at peace
I’m so tired of pretending
Pretending that everything is fine
Im exhausted of hiding how I truly feel
I am never okay
I am never enough
I'm always battling inside myself
The demons
The voices
Everyone and everything is pulling me down
When can I just let go
When can I be free of all this hatred
It’s like it never wants to leave
I feel like I’m always going to be in pain
Then I ask why
What did I do to deserve this
I thought I was a good person
But this pain
This hurt I feel
It’s never ending
This is the heart of my depression, when there are sad moments out of nowhere. This is what goes through my head.
Jan 2021 · 68
Happy
cyairraa Jan 2021
There’s something you don’t know
Past all the smiles
I’d like to leave this place

Go somewhere happier
Somewhere I can be free
No rules
Nobody telling me how i should feel
Away from all the judgeful eyes
Somewhere bright
Somewhere i can be myself
This place will be a haven
It’ll have feelings of giddiness
Love
Things I am numb to now

No one knows I think these things
And i guess it’s better off that way
Everything will be okay
Because one day ill leave
And truly be at peace
And no one will know what i was going through

The voices will leave
The ones telling me to do bad things
They'll be replaced by happy ones
And i could be truly happy

— The End —