perhaps it is today
that he will return
walking up
the bend down the road

he said he’d come back
when the lights are dim
over the earth
"I’ll bring," he said,
"enough food and money
to see us through many days"

the children have waited
with silent eyes
and I tell them
each dusk:
“It is tonight
your father will return”

but I have waited
a month – two, three it seems
and the force slips in my voice
though I keep my heart and hope strong

perhaps it is today
that he will return
walking up
the bend down the road

Today I made it five hours
unless you count the six cups of coffee
and the cigarettes
I don’t
it’s convenient that way
I don’t know what it is
It is the one thing I can’t find the words for
probably because I am afraid of the implications
those words will surely bring
when I was a young *******
I knew way more than I do now
and I was never unhappy
but I grew up -
admittedly slower than my peers -
and bit by bit the wallpaper was stripped away
until all that was left were pipes and studs
a haunting skeleton creaking in the night
so I slipped more and more as I got older
because I wanted to go faster
wanted it all right away
and I was foolish
because all it got me was a handful of good words
and me sitting in this chair
lamenting the fact that I only made it five hours today
but tomorrow is tomorrow
and just maybe
I won’t be this me

he tells me he is reaching
his breaking point
(and) he sighs,
(and) he looks away,
(and) i want to reach out to him
to touch his hand, shoulder,
knee

but i am afraid he will
shatter

That’s why they call it falling in love
because at best it’s going to hurt
and at its worst
you end up splattered all over the concrete

The flavor of my youth
was skateboards and punk rock
heavy metal and mischief
walking through Cary town
with pockets full of change
and crushed singles
sodas in hand
and skateboards under the other arm
in the gated community we lived in
we would find the houses
where we knew the owners were away on vacation
and we took to the stairs on four wheels
to glide through the air like arrows shot from some towering bow
made of concrete and asphalt
and we went to shows in the city
dressed in the armor of wristbands, ripped jeans, and faded band shirts
drunk on our parents’ beer and skunk ****
drunk on the promise of a night open to any footfall we chose
and we jumped up and down in mosh pits
just trying to feel anything real
anything which tasted like living
we stalked from house to house cloaked in the witching hour
and pillaged our knick knacks from the garages of neighbors we never knew
padded fingertips pressing against doorbells
1...2...3…
now run
we didn’t have time for school
or the teachers trying to bring us down
but we always had time to trek through the woods with a bowl
smoking **** until we got to the mall
where we ******* around until mall security chased us out
we did not always make the greatest decisions
but I am **** glad I made them