theres an unrest about my
head
about my
skin
a buzzing in my
lungs
in my
knees
a longing in my
fingers
in my
heart

when you're with me
i feel
soft and warm and
ideal
and i still dont know
why or how or
if it's even
real

there's a chill in my
skin
that sinks to my
bones
so i wrap myself in blankets
and set myself
on fire

I haven't had one since 2016 when you left
I've been splitting you black
and now there's someone else
to take up your space
to take up my emotions

i dont really
but it's easier that way, ya know?
if i dont think about
high school or
college or
late night walks to your apartment
then i can at least pretend

i'm watching total recall
and all i can think
about
is that lady
who got a third
****

i want you
to rip me to
s h r e d s
like a styrofoam cup

i wish i could
be a superhero
to you
when you need one

there's a picture i look at
when i'm sad
it's of a baby
wearing giant headphones