do you ever feel alone even when you are surrounded by people
your mind is screaming to get out
but it can't
because it's trapped in its own prison cell of the skull
you just want to scream at everyone around you
i'm not invisible
i can hear you
i'm not blind
i can see you laughing and pointing
can't you see the pain behind my eyes
the tears filling up
most can't see the inside
the emptiness of your stomach from hunger over a course of days
the tears coming to your eyes and the struggle to get them to leave
the long sleeves that hide darkened and red scars
and fresh blood pouring from my veins
my happiness was taken away after the lies and the realization
that i will never ever be good enough
i'll always be too annoying
too fat
too awkward
too this, too that
maybe that's why i get treated the way i do
i did something wrong
i screamed
i cried
i took that cold blade
and released my pain
the more it slides, the angrier i get
deeper and deeper i go
until i'm lying soulless
lifeless
in a pool of my own blood
that disgrace will now be lying
down in the earth
as the rest of the world
seems to never care...

beyond the boundaries of the city
lies a whole other world filled with trees and unexplored paths
creaking bridges above rushing waves
what if the bridge breaks?
I shrug my shoulders as i jump up and down
making my way down the old boards
we make the S turn up the roads and
looking down at the cliff and simply just admiring the beauty
instead of safety
there's just something about exiting the city boundaries
that changes your perspective and mindset.
maybe its the fact that you wouldn't mind taking your last breath
inhaling campfire smoke
the aroma of wet earth and pine
the peace, without chaos

nobody really knows
what happens behind closed doors

not until they get a glimpse of it
for themselves

the abuse
the tears
the hurt

nobody really knows
what happens when they're alone
behind closed doors

not until that person
has lived their last breath

the pain
the suffering
the misery

all gone now

your best friend
your classmate
that stranger in the hall

whoever she is to you
she's gone now
because nobody seemed to care
in her time of need

that smile
my dear
was false

the pain in her eyes
said it all
and not once
did you ask if she was okay

because what happens
behind closed doors
is left a mystery
until all that's left
is the memory

drawing is what i do
its what i love
i can't go a day without it

many lines and curves
to make a piece of art

but here's the twist

i only use one color
on the piece of art
God given to me

its silver and shiny
sharp at the edges

the result
dark red coming from the canvas

father father
it's your little girl
age 5
your pretty princess

floral dresses
scraped knees
chocolate stains on my cheeks

daddy daddy
it's your whole world
12 years old
your baby girl

report cards
best friends
dancing queen

father father
it's your precious joy
your own little queen

she's not so innocent anymore
you beat her
she disappointed you

daddy daddy
you lost her
18 years old
she's gone

she's across the world
with a boy she thinks treats her right
better than you ever did

father father
you lost your baby
and you may never get her back

when we are born
we are pure
unharmed
untouched
so innocent

same as a flower

as we grow older
we begin to blossom
our roots begin to grow
we start to sprout

we live a little
as a beautiful innocent thing
we stand tall
we stand sprouted

but someone always comes around
and tears off our petals
turning us to be
not as beautiful as before
on the outside

but someone comes around also
and carefully picks the flower
and cherishes it
even if it isn't as beautiful
as it was before

that person still sees the goodness in it
its still a flower
it used to be beautiful
but it still stands strong

we all die
as a wilted flower
not as pure
not as innocent
but still a beautiful flower

baby girl quit being so naive
she doesn't love you nor does she even like you
she doesn't have to say it because actions speak louder than words
she doesn't care when your sad, all she does is yell
but she treats all the others like angels
what did i do to deserve this hell?
all i want is a little attention
the attention that i don't get from anyone else
as much as i hate to admit it to myself
I love you.
i have for years
and as much as i want it to leave
it never will
so i just have to live with the excruciating ache in my heart
that you hate me.
You always have.

pull her in close
and stare into her eyes
look at her like you have
never looked at anyone else before
look into her eyes
and down to her lips
and slowly move in
seal the deal
with a sweet sweet kiss
lock your lips with hers
and take the key
she is yours
she will always be yours
make her feel loved
like no other boy has
seal the deal with a kiss
she's all yours now

etched a blade into my skin
drew the word that you burned in my lips
love
i scratched the surface which you touched until i bled
i could feel you in every fiber of my being
i felt you when i touched the pencil to the paper
to draw a fine line and write the name that you whispered in my ear
when you told me how you felt
love
and when you folded the paper and slid it to me
i opened it to reveal that you found someone else
as i opened up my skin to reveal that i still love you
i will always love you
as you will love 300 other girls in your lifetime
and say the same thing to every one
love.

society is a cold dark place
if we think our hearts and souls are cold
think again
that girl in the halls
with her head down low
is gorgeous and perfect
has everything going for her
even though maybe she has a few imperfections
imperfection is beauty my darling
that one girl who is starving herself
because she has a metabolism that is a bit different
everyone calls her fat
girls are buying barbie hair
applying black chemicals to their eyes
throwing up in the bathroom in between classes
just to be accepted in the social norm
and fit the definition of beauty
just because she's different
doesn't mean she has nothing going for her
she will make millions
while she is asking you for no onions
on her big mac
she will eat that big mac with pride
as she puts her ******* your way
because you always thought you were better

the mountain top is success
and the bottom of the ocean is failure

over the course of life
we take a hike
and go swimming with dolphins

taking a hike doesn't get you
to the top of the mountain
and swimming with dolphins
doesn't get you
to the bottom of the ocean

we progress and fail in life
if we work hard and train
we get to the top of the mountain
if we don't try to get the anchor
off our feet
we fall to the bottom of the ocean

It's your choice

superman
the usual buff man in a cape
thats what they want you to think
that it is the only way for true love
but does true love end
at the lowering of the casket
depending on the strength of the love
it could disintegrate into thin air
or burst stronger than before
superman isn't like the one in Marvel
he may fight fires
save lives
or swoop you off of your feet
but how do you know the difference
between superman
and the wicked villain
who will leave you broken to pieces
lying numb on the cold hard floor

i dive into the water
being the fish that i am
i swim and swim underwater
to drown the demons inside of my head
i hear laughing
its just a joke
they snicker
woah she's a good actress
she actually looks dead
as they poke and push
to ******* up
the snicker more
an insult
some teasing
pushed her over the edge
she said goodbye when she jumped in
they roll her over
her lips blue
her skin cold
her soul has left her body
they cry
they shake her
she couldn't take it anymore
as she was yelping and crying
stop stop stop
while the others slept happily
they didn't see her suffer
nor did they care
the world's bravest guppy
never got to turn into a shark
she just jumped
swam
and died
doing what she loved most
at an extreme

you occupy my mind as much as the brain occupies the skull
i crave your company as much as a girl craves chocolate
i need you as the body needs water and food
the disappointing thing is you probably haven't thought of me once since the day we broke up
but **** boy, its hard to forget such an impact on my life
everywhere i look
everything i see
brings something back
**** boy there was something pretty special about you
something special that i was so dumb to let go
and now i sit here and think of all the things we could be
9 months later
we could've gone on dates
had our first kiss
i could've been happy..
but **** boy
i'm missin' out on something special
that maybe some other girl is witnessin'
baby it could've been you and me against the world
we could've conquered it all together
you and i
but i took advantage of what i had
and persuasion took over and i left
so baby i'm so very sorry
could you ever forgive me?
baby i need you...

I heard I got to see you today
I got up
I got dressed
I did my hair
All for you
I got to where you were
My friends were with me too
I was so excited
But you followed her around like a lost kitten...
You didn't even pay attention to me..
It was all about her..
Yes I know
She's prettier
She's funnier
She's better...
I got my hopes up..
I got too caught up in my own little fantasy
To focus on the reality that I will never be good enough
For anyone..
I'm too ugly
I'm too fat
I'm too awkward
I can see why you chose her..
She's perfect..
I bet you didn't realize
I didn't eat for days
To maybe lose a pound or two..
I bet you didn't realize
I spent hours
Working on my outfit
And perfected my makeup
Just to impress you..
But you were lollygagging around
Drooling pools over her
I'm sorry
I'm sorry I'm not good enough...