I need to buy
a new mattress
my side is now threadbare
and the other half
smells too much like you
like us
or what we used to be

maybe
I'll get new sheets as well

For a minute there was hope
as my eyes brushed yours
as I looked for a free seat in a packed cafe
and I saw
next to you
a chair
and I saw
your smile
warm and familiar
like an old, tattered book
and I saw
your mug
half-filled, half-empty
and as I moved towards you
someone else sat in the chair next to you
she was bright and shiny like plastic
and she put her hand on yours
and I saw
your smile
slip away
as I did
looking for another cafe

I kissed you roughly
and you take off my clothes
as I took off yours
our sweaty bodies
rocked each other
and melted into one
and I felt confident, invincible
until you asked me
“who are you?”

and never have I felt
more vulnerable