Perhaps I’m spending too much time looking for something that isn’t there
Listening to the voices while sitting in my underwear
And sipping on coffee, smoking cheap tobacco
Perhaps I’m ignoring the things I already know
 
Accusing me blatantly of robbing your youth
But you gave it freely… Don’t you remember?
Instead I sit like a parasite suckling on the blood of your childhood
And use it to fuel my own childlike lust forever
 
The bitter taste of it matches my brew
So much that I sugar coat it with fantasy
Of whom I am and what I’ve done to deserve this
Instead of opening my eyes to see what I haven’t done to avoid it…
 
You’re so perfect in your very being
That I have no hope in it making sense
You show me each and every one of my flaws
Through the super-powers of your very existence
 
I’m withering inside with your expectations of me
Your property, your servant, your trophy
Sitting on the shelf with the rest of your glories
A supporting actor in your very own life story

T’was an overcast day in the month of October
And you made bad decisions over and over
You weaseled your way in my life

A bad girl, promiscuous…
Yet full of much promise
And swore you had conquered your strife

You had more than one chance
Future still in the balance
My love unknowest to me was lust

Your beauty and charm
Ignored the needle in your arm
That milk was more important than us

Blinded by elation
And soul excavation
Heart and head filled with white noise

“Don’t try to change me”
said my sweet Pixie
“You’ll always be my favorite poor choice”

Maaaan, I ain’t got nothin…
‘cept 3 li’l buns that came outta her oven
Just when ya think everything’s going to be alright
Yer served with papers and sleepin’ in a van at night
Lookin up at the nighttime sky
Sounds in the background of future DWI’s rollin’ by
They ain’t got nothin’ either ‘cept empty promises and broken dreams
No clear direction of what their life means
To a corporate fat cat, they’re just an asset
A tax base, bleeds green, a budget offset
Sombody PAH-LEASE turn off this ****** faucet
They say I make a decent living and STILL I’m living out of boxes
And okay, I’ll be positive, I have a couple nice things
But I paid the price in meals for the joy that they bring
So I sit my broke *** in a corner by the lake
And center my mind, lotus position, atoning mistakes
And I realize there aren’t any, and I retain my ego
Cause when I think about it, we’re all just stuck at a different level of zero
Confused mice in a maze looking for the moved cheese
Moving purpose to purpose like a band of gypsies
Seeking out the lie that is the American Dream
Relax the frustration with pleasure in my bloodstream
I practice my art of being happy for what I’ve received
Instead of the hopes and dreams that from us have been thieved
Yet some other mouse with a weapon demands what I’ve got
Yelling, spittle in my face, from a man that fate forgot
I scream back, fire like a cannon, with pride, with passion
Looking straight in his eye, I laugh, say it with me…
Maaaan, I ain’t got nothin

Stream of Consciousness

Walking out of the building
Into the overgrowth littered with debris
A polluted stream flows wildly
And there I just sit and breathe

But the shill voice cuts through me
A serrated blade through bread
And in an instant I’m reminded again
Of all the things just said

Like…

Why are you crazy?
How do you feel?
How can you hope to possibly know
What is false and real?

Where is my joy?
Where is my life?
What have you done to me?
are you doing this just out of spite?

(Scream…  Scream…)

Get out of my head
Get out of my mind
Don’t think I know
Which thoughts are theirs and which are mine

Scream, Scream
I’m daring to dream
Nor me nor them
But somewhere between

The life I want
And the life I’ve been given
Not sure anymore
What I can believe in

(And I scream once more…)

Finally silence Alone in my bed
But the thoughts of the chaos
Just swim in my head

Like a fish
Or a flipper
Cinderella’s Broken glass slipper
Finally trails off
My conscious like a cowboy in the sunset
And I dream all the dreams
That I was trying to forget

And I wake
To the overbrush
The polluted stream
Chemical dust

And I do it all over again

Dim Print…

Left side to right side…  “Where’s the error?”
Right side to left… “What was right?”
And the back and forth and back and forth and back and forth continues until the conversation fades into nothingness…
A black void of pointless banter like a debate where there’s no winner
Rhetoricals like a tennis ball or ping-pong match that never ends
Background chatter…  eyelids close… slumber…

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP snooze BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP snooze BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Fine…  

I open my eyes and the dialog continues
Slurping down the dark sweet brew hoping the bitterness will bring relief, but it does not.
Substance whittled down like an old kook’s dead branch
The shavings fall to the earth and rot into insignificance
Such is life…

Getting on with the day, with dreams that the work will now still the mind
Clackity Clackity Clack on the keyboard…
the rhythmic sound provides beats for MC Left side and Right side to lay their rhymes down
Left side to right side…  “Where’s the error?”
Right side to left… “What was right?”
And the back and forth and back and forth and back and forth continues
Until the tête-à-tête makes its way onto the screen itself

Frustrated, a third voice intervenes…
Why is there a right? Why is there a wrong?
Why do we continue this chat all day long?
For the love of all that is free, let’s just agree to disagree.
raise the roof in the veracity of the things that will be
silence…  still psyche… embark on a mindtrip blissfully

BAM!
Like a camera flash you were there
Now...  all see is a black spot
A silhouette of a person
a mystery
momentarily
lit with glee
like a flash
it was gone
BAM!