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 Jan 2014 Henry Alexander
Nadrah
"Even as you close your eyes to sleep,
My love for you remains true and deep,
It’s you I love and forever will keep,
I’m here to say sweet dreams
before we both fall asleep."
 Jan 2014 Henry Alexander
Carey
Everyday is hard for me
the thoughts the feelings
the desire and longing to it the end
and when will it end
How will this end
How can I go on like this

the lack of sleep is getting worse
the thinking and dreaming of dying and death
that live in my head
the hurting and pain never lefts me
Carey
I'm falling like the rain
Spinning and colliding with everything.
It's all so lovely,
But it's the pungent smell of lust
That takes my breath away.

You wore a magnificent disguise
You were so beautiful
That I thought you would break the curse
Of my bruised and ****** heart
With every vein intact.

When we kissed,
It was electric
But I never asked you to go farther.
I didn't want to do the things
That you wanted to do
But "no" and "not here"
Were some letters strung together
That you could not identify.

After your strong will honed in on me
Threatened me
Violated me and then threw me away
I did not know what to make of it.

Shades of grey, that's what it was.
It was not black and white as I expected
Any type of ****** manipulation to be.

I just assumed that
If that happened to me
I would know it
Press charges
And tell someone.
Anyone.

Victim blaming would not affect me.
After all, I am a feminist, right?
But much to my surprise,
It took a brutal toll on my existence.

So many dangerous, pernicious things
Can sparkle beautifully.
They catch your eye
As if to trick you
And make you second guess yourself.
That's how they **** you in.

You always think in hypotheticals
That it will look clear as day.
Until it happens to you.
 Jan 2014 Henry Alexander
Day
.
 Jan 2014 Henry Alexander
Day
.
Take me.
Take me with you
into your world where
the sun sets teal
and the sky bleeds music.

You can say that it is beautiful, but
my breath will only be taken away
when I look left
at you.

Your pure essence presses down
against my ribs, and I joke
that I am smothered.
Really, you ignite a flame
in me that your slender fingers
keep smoldering with
each bruise on my thigh.

I promise you that
I wouldn't hurt me, but it is okay
if you do.

It's easy to pretend
that your sharp teeth
were made to leave holes of your love,
rather than holes for my heart
to spill at your feet.

You push me away but
it is just another game;
I can be knocked down but I
will always win if I
capture you
again.

Take me.
Take me with you
into your world where
the wine seas push water
to lap against my coffin.

Lackadaisical nostalgia is the
only print
right from you.
I wish I could break
Shatter into a million pieces
Of sharded glass, waiting to be stepped on.
Causing you to bleed wouldn't hurt me
Because I would already be broken.

This universe doesn't give a ****
Whether we're moving
Or camping out on life's sidelines.
The doers, in the end
Meet the same fate as the dreamers.

I want you to break me.
Work me until I fall apart
Until I can't take it anymore.
At least then
I will overdose on my need for perfection
Before I die of it.
You can take my needle from me
Before my heart stops beating.
Before it turns my blue vein black.

Then maybe I can stop craving
Everything that hopes to **** me off.

— The End —