All I wanna be,
Is what I set out and see,
What I see as normal,
Not what you see as formal,

I wanna look the way I want,
Not something for you to flaunt,
Just be the Same old me,
Instead of being what you want me to be,

So as I sit in distress,
With anger and sadness none the less,
I'll pretend that I love what you've done,
And pretend that I love it a ton,

It's what you wanted,
It's what you received,
So lets hope your convinced,
And I've kept you deceived.

Predetermined insolence,
Intended audience,
Fall and free,
Run and scream,
For those who make you dream,

To run and think,
Fulfilled with hate,
Run a mind,
Of destructive hate

So here we are again computer,
Sitting side by side one night more,
For once things looked up, looked like they changed,
But guess what life, it's back to being torn,

Those hopes were so ******* high,
It seemed reasonable this time,
and what do you know,
life just laughed,

Took away something I thought was finally going to happen,
Something I finally felt was going to be mine again,
But you took it,
Along with my hopes,
And left me with even more pain,

No matter what she says to me,
I crumble and wait,
Because within sometime, who knows,
She may be mine once again,

"I still have feelings for you",
A thought said by her,
I can wait all I want for this, and pray that it may be mine,
But lets go back to where I was before.....

Lonely

Although this may not be a poem, I feel it helps to read.

Want happiness? Secret I've used for years is very simple...Be happy

Cute friend not interested? Be happy. Something go wrong? Be happy. No matter what happens, tell yourself that. Be happy be happy be happy. Smile as you spend another night alone, when you see the one person who might have made you happy in someone else's arms. Against their lips. Smile.

The Mind is quite a powerful thing. If you keep this up long enough you will truly convince yourself you're happy. You can go to and from school or anywhere, and no matter what happened that day, you'll still be happy. Only in the early hours of the morning will the reality hit, and sink in, but you can ignore this. Whos going to be around to see you at 2 in the morning. Noone, because god forbid someone sees you sad.

You can go about your day and be genuinely happy, with this new cheery demeanor you can have friends again, maybe there'll even be a person who starts to show interest. You're actually happy. Until you are home of course, at 2 in the morning, with noone around, no cutie to be with you, and your mind is upon itself.

This is when you are most sad, and you have time to think about everything that should be wrong. But of course, the next morning causes several distractions and you can be happy again.

Here's to the broken hearts,
The sewn up seams,
The beaten up good guys,
And the many shattered dreams,

This is for all the people who tried and tried again,
Just to bring happiness to those they loved,
Yet....
Never quite seemed to do it just right,
Those people who were beaten and shoved,
Because what they did was out of sight.

You do many crazy things for those you love,
Do everything their current won't/can't,
They begin to see it,
As you hope for them to see you,
And you wish for nothing but pure bliss,
Something that's soon to be threw,

(S)He will be yours,
Never give up your hope,
Because if fate perceives what it's ment to entail,
Then by god,
Stay upon that golden trail.

Feel the build up,
The anger,
The rage,
The uncontrollable urge,
The thoughts I get when I see you,
And so begins my purge.

I see you and scream on the inside,
keeping my cool uncompromisable mask,
Just when I think it's over,
and I can live without you,
Here comes the anger and more depression,
The things that keep me sane are few.

I doubt you'll see this,
Know what it's about,
But the thoughts what's here,
and it's the thought that counts,

I hate what I'm becoming,
Due to simple acts of stupidity,
Not going to break,
Tell a soul,
Just like I know you won't try and talk anymore.

Just remember,
That within time,
I will do what I need,
When I need to,
In order to be happy.

Think about actions,
Never about the consequences,
or the effect on others,
yourself,
or anything,
But remember how much it hurts,
To think I've become this way.