His hands on my body
Were cold, cold,
Cold hands on warm flesh
Like when you open
The back of the bra
On a cold winter day
Cold hands on warm flesh
I can feel them again
Goosebumps run down
My back and I double over
Like I didn't then
Cold hands on warm flesh
That make you want to
Run away from your own fingers
Only those weren't my fingers
And I wasn't the one
Unhooking my bra.

I have poisoned myself
With an overdose of you
And rehab is ruthless.

The only antidote existing
For you is you and that
Is a never ending loop.

So I look for short term
Solutions by poisoning
My nights and making

My days blurry and my
Unconsciousness short and
You are then you.

Of course I
Trust you, you
Never gave me a reason
Not to, you were
Always there, it is
Not trivial, not for
Me, I am more grateful
Than my words
Can portray, I thank
You for telling me
I am amazing, I
Needed that, I need
It every time and
Hate myself for needing
It, I wanted to tell
You that I am not
Brave but the words
Wouldn't come out
Between the sobs, I
Just want you to know
I heard everything and
I cannot thank you
Enough.

Tonight I seem to miss them again
I don't know if to cry or to laugh.

Songs which I would never
Consider writing and which
Are enveloped in fond memories
Play on the radio.

The edge of my trousers
Are wet but my feet are dry
And cold as ice in their warm stockings
Which I want to take of.

My life feels like one big
Disonance at the moment
As I take books off the bookshelfs and
Bang them open and shut.

Open and
Shut and open and
Shut and the dust asks
My lungs to let it
In my but my lungs
Protest and my nose
Wants more and my
Hands hurt and my eyes
Beg more
And I am sore.

מתוך המעשים
נמשכים הלבבות so
We clean the outside so that inside
We will be cleansed as well.

And I am sore.