It's scary
How easy it is
To feel alone
Suddenly
How easy it is
For your joy
To turn into sorrow
The daisy chain mood
You had been in
Withering away
Like the rotting crown
Of flowers on your head.

And everything feels wrong
And everyone seems far
You want to sit
In a lush, green meadow
Surrounded by daisies
Your fingers nimbly
Wrapping the stems
Around themselves
And then securing
Your new treasure
Onto a friend's head,
Crowning them your champions
Your saviours.
Day dreaming in the dark.

The mirror tells me
There is still a flower
Stuck in my hair.
The aftermath
Of today's
Daisy chain mood.

The mirror was only
Trying to be kind
But sent me into
My own
Personal
Brand of rain.

I couldn't find a soul
That would comfort me
Only the rotting daisy
That is not
A daisy
Staring back through the glass.

Daisy chains are past
Long, lush, British grass
And longer, lonely breaks.
I wasn't sad,
I was content
In my own dream world.

Daisy chains are future
Hands linked in hands
Making chains together
Hoping they'll
Last forever
These are my dreams.

But daisy chains
Are also now
The single daisy
That is not
A daisy
Rotting in my hair.

For a split second
Just as my sleeping mind
Noticed my waking one approach
And tried to hide
Lest they meet
And all the guilt
Of years of enstrangment
Will burst forth
I still thought
You were sitting there
Besides me.

Sometimes
When we were younger
I'd be her little sister.
I'd put my head on her lap
And she would lovingly
Stroke my hair and I
Would be comforted.

When we were younger
She was eager
To hear what wisdom
I had to give her.

When we were younger
I was eager
To give her the wisdom
She craved
And which I lacked,
So I would just make stuff up.

Lately I've been seeing,
How much she knows
Her surroundings
So much better than I could ever
Know my way around mine.

Today
When she called me
I could hear
How lost she was
And bounded upon
The opportunity
To be
For once
Her big sister.

She is cursed
To forever be
My little sister
When she's just
So self assured.

From the moment
I opened my eyes this morning
I felt
Scattered.
I wanted to be bound up in string,
To keep me
From falling apart or
Better yet, in someone's arms
They'll hug me tight, close,
I will feel their warmth
And won't be so
Scattered.
But I
Cannot bring myself
To inflict my scatteredness
Upon them - they have lives,
Too, which are not my own, and they
Shouldn't be in charge
Of my scattered life,
Needing to pick up my pieces.
And I know they say
They are here for me
And I know they say
They don't care
And I know they say
That's what friends are for,
But still I cannot bring myself
To ask.

She
Of the failed health
And abundant poetry.

He
Who absorbs all of
The others' pain.

They
Who are entangled
In my brain.

As a single entity
Of nightmares and scars.

He
Of the manipulative words
Which tell me not his problems.

And me.

That is my group.
Those are my problems.
These are my friends.