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Vitis Lio Dec 2013
Not that I doubted it,
I was told time
And time again;
It's mutual!
You're amazing
You're brilliant
We believe in you.
Of course;
It's mutual!
I'm suppose to know;
It's mutual!
But time
And time again,
My past
Get's the better
Of present Me.
Mutual Me.
It's mutual!
Of course;
It's mutual!
But I'll doubt
Time
And time again.

Tomorrow
I'll forget
You love me
As I love you.
Time
And time again,
Please tell me
It is mutual.
For The Herd.
Vitis Lio Dec 2013
I'm mushing my food
Before eating it,
Drinking dry
Red wine,
And feeling
Distantly self destructive.

I had gotten irritated
And was beating myself up about it.

Looking at the world
Through the tangle
Of curls on my head
I feel like an animal
And there's no one
To contain me
But myself.

So I prefer to drown
In pillows and mattresses
Escaping the world
Via dreamlandTM.

Knowing
I'll beat myself up about it.
Preferring
To beat myself up later
Than beat others up now.

(It's not that I'm masochistic
Or else selfless
But I'll beat myself up
Either way.)
Vitis Lio Dec 2013
I keep telling you to ask for directions,
But no. I admit, I prefer to get lost,
Than to make human interaction.
I sometimes even like it, walking
Aimlessly wandering towards a known point
Which I know that alone, I cannot,
Will not, be able to reach. You keep
Telling me to ask for direction, and maybe
One day I will, when I am not so afraid,
Of where my initial path will lead.
Inhanced from a conversation with H.B.
Vitis Lio Dec 2013
The construction
They labour on
Will become, one day
A building.

The earth
That they tend to
So religiously
Will be a blooming garden.

Whether herbs or flowers
Skyscrapers or cozy cottage
They will in the end
Have something to cherish.

And I
Take my journey
And I
See their work
And I
Look back and
Am not even able
To retrace
My own footsteps.

And they
Will be able
To dwell in their houses
And eat the fruits
Of their own labours.

And I
Will have memories
Which will
Gradually
Fade.

I am aware of that
And so
Frantically
I write my journeys down
Incomplete
Unwhole.

Because by the time I reach my destiny
My exquisite memory
Will too
Fail me.
" I consider writing as gardening, she considers it as construction. What do you?"
"I consider it as hiking."
Vitis Lio Dec 2013
People tell me
I'm pretty
But I look in the mirror
And I'm so ugly
And the mirror tells the truth
Cause
Essentially
It's me.

She explained all this
In the girls' bathroom
In such a nonchalant way
That I envied her.

I look in the mirror
And I can't say it lies
But the truth?
I can't see the truth.

People tell me
I'm pretty
But I look in the mirror
And I'm confused
Because I've always believed
In people
More than I believe
In myself.
Vitis Lio Dec 2013
I like the rain
I truly do (!)
But it makes me
Remember (...)

Running,
Breathless,
Struggling to keep pace
The rain above us
Merely a light drizzle,
Infinitely not enough.

Walking,
Side by side,
To retrieve a lost boy,
The rain above us,
Drizzling painfully,
In just the wrong moment.

And the nausea
Rises,
And the ache in my chest
Expands.

I want the rain
To rain
Upon me
With Them
By my side.
I chose to write here because there are some things I don't want people to know. I miss them.
Vitis Lio Dec 2013
Above my head
The sky is grey.
Before me,
On the offing,
A band of golden light,
With a few rays of sunshine,
Peeking through.
Behind me, a rainbow
Stretches out
In all of its translucent
Magnificence,
And to my left,
Loom the monsters.

Four silhouettes,
Beastly chimneys,
Pointing their *******
Up at the sky,
As if to say,
"We own you."
Smoke rises from them,
Like from the barrel of a gun
Dark against the golden light.
"Who have you shot lately,
Chimneys?"

Me.
They shot me.

And at that moment,
I hate them,
These ghastly cement creatures,
That steal my air.
I hate them,
For ruining the beauty of the day.
I hate them,
For talking away the pleasure
Of the smell of petrichor.

If Freud were to read this poem,
He'd smile at me and say,
Dear, this is what I call
Projective identification,
Before proceeding to touch my breast.
But he's right,
Of course he's right,
He's always right,
Because I, too,
Like the beasts,
Have a *******.

— The End —