I try so hard to understand the pictures in my mind
I try so very hard to see what I once left behind
I walk the line in narrow streets
Heavy walls close in on me
I try so hard to do things right
To live a day to sleep a night
My bodies tired my mind is fast
Full of scared an angry past
Full of pain and dread and fear
Wanting to get out of here
I don't know how to make it stop
The feelings of fear the churning knots
the deepest cut inside my soul the angry words
the masks at windows starring in
The sound of footprints closing in
The fear of being dragged within
The fear this time of giving in
Of standing there letting it in
No longer able to fight the din
Clawing at the bridge of rope another door another room
Another evil to consume
Another evil to endure
Same sounds of shadows pass
Same feel of cold and draft
Then the smell like tar pitch black like cariasote you paint a fence
Then darkness and silence your only friend
You wake your body bones an skin crawling flesh that burns within
You shake like snow has fallen hard
So cold so tired and leg bones pull and twist so sharp
My jaw it aches my ears too ringing silence rips you through
Storms over but no escape
Nightmares gone but you never wake
Instead beneath the ice you swim
Always silent closed within
afraid to speak to let it in
Just swim and swim don't scream don't ever ever let it in