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Heleli Oct 2020
At home he finds himself thinking I wanna go home
I've just realized I'm too tired to be awake
But still I go on
It's way too easy
He's right, now he tries and succeeds
It was easy, I won't do it again
It's too clean, it's way too sane
He's gaining ground then lying down
This is my thrill
Taking turns and leaving places
I live off the motionwave
The rush and the comedown
I get it
I get the stillness, the strain and the sickness
I say give in
I gave in to myself
And now I'm fine
Now I'm beyond life
I have stopped waiting for love
So it can sneak up on me
And I'll die of fright
As it should be
March 2018
Heleli Oct 2020
Captain we have found a staircase
A spiral deep and sound
I was lying on the ground
Woke from a dreamphase
We have found a staircase

There is mud in my stomach
And on my clothes
And I haven't spoken since the crows
Left a scar on my back

Captain we will not be back home

No harm, no harm upon us
I have come to trust the entrails of the earth
Discovery kills but not fast enough

Tell them we have drowned in the melting snow
Tell them we are frozen in the sea
Say God was there in person
February 2018
Heleli Oct 2020
Gloria for glory
The age at which she told her story
Flushed with pride and insolence
Standing on the balcony but looking in
A child with no resistance
No ache to share
Her captain, her agony, had left her planting roses behind the farmhouse
So there she stayed in half-shadow, but sun-graced and standing among the branches low with spring, now high and bare, still standing in the meadow
If she wakes she can walk unseen and see everything foreign in the darkness, and he will not be there because this is the hidden world.
Glory arrives unexpected
They know how her head spun when at the harbour the ship sailed and the men smiled, how shine is not lives away but now and for the taking
Know a heart can turn blue but insane blue is the colour of the sky.
November 2017
Heleli Oct 2020
Raven, raven
was locked in heaven
and lost on me

Rainy days
on his house ablaze
he came back to see

But never linger on here too long
I am not so strong

Gave him charcoal
to feed a bloodlust
I hoped to see

For my body
won't leave the ground
Oh bird leave me be
September 2017
Heleli Sep 2017
On the morning of our first apparition
We did not talk much we just swayed
Until the hour drained away
I screamed inside the empty ballroom
Our figures collapsed on the stairs
And nothing hurt at first
The ground was green and healed the soul
That much I had always known
But no more dirt upon the walls
It meant nothing was real at all
So I'll take you underneath a tree
And we can laugh at our despair
The sober burning light of day
Hurting our heads until the night
Then pressure on the swollen mind
To spit a painful stream
Pale image of a dream
Although it made me smile
September 7th 2017
Heleli Sep 2017
Here in the remains of our town
There isn't much to see
We stole an empty house
And waited for reprieve

In the course of disintegration
The only place to stand still
The room of revelations
With the weight of the ****

It doesn't matter on the last of nights
And tomorrow
Out of your arms and into the plague house

There will be no survivors
Because all will be saved
It isn't much of a lie
I believe everything I say

I say to you maybe later
When we are left to stand
When all of this is over
You would like to take my hand

It all fades on the last of nights
Lie down
Stay until they board up the plague house

O morning the doors open wide
Reveal a movement in the ruin
The eyes suffer in the sunlight
The dust had settled on the skin

So it seems on the first of nights
No one knows
How we made it out of the plague house
August 30th 2017
Heleli Aug 2017
I feel my face
White as a corpse
I look more and more like myself

I live alone
Sober and bright
Daylight burns my skin

You roamed under my window waiting
I called out too soon
No one ever taught me the rules

Will you lie with me on the carpet at night
With the windows open in summer
With sleeping soundwaves in winter

I live alone
It shows I think
A lifetime in a room

I live alone
With all of me
Scattered in figures on the walls
A lifetime on the moon
August 24th 2017
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