I.
Felt upon finding
that you were the other
half to my mind. You locked
me up; ordered the lobotomy.

II.
You left me
less than nothing.
Deep within you,
solar flares.
III.
All we wanted was
the sunrise together. Living
in Alaska; the winter
and the summer.
IV.
Lost the dog last night.
The sun breaks upon my
return; to find him barking
in our basement.
V.
Once mentioned you
prefer a woman tan.
Years later; finding a
burst mole on my thigh.

VI.
Raising our children
as some raise crops.
They fall they get back up,
bury the youngest.

VII.
Devote your life to
hundreds of gathered
miles. No longer walking
claims all freedom.

To be engulfed by her
in soundless sound
she swallows my all of me
to the point where I stopped
handing out my ***** to strangers
bite me
bite bite bite by bite
so far I am a nothing
in a pile of them
fighting for flecks
the masters sprinkle
so many flakes
too many to little
is it too late?
my thoughts and the
space between them
and the page
draw and
tell the truth
while you are
at it
or don’t bother
eat plenty
of fresh
hearts and minds
when open you can heal
open like newborn flesh
to the blade
mr murukami is
bloodshed an improvement
I think I can
build a good future
don’t control her
pain will follow
I die tonight as
we sleep together
only in a matter of speaking
miles apart
nothing holding us together at all
maybe in soon time the
world will grant me a love
if I keep looking
like ginsberg
If I tell the truth
and keep looking
eternity will unfold
again
a mouth places wet
kisses on each
skin cell now
wet and pink *****
lips ******
nervous lips
picked raw by a thousand
hundred trillion
searching fingers on one
hand
a mass of them
tickling my brain and
flesh meager flesh
young and lonesome
sometime soon I
grasped the secret
to the universe
but my mouth was young
and starving so I ate it
for breakfast now
skin so dark
sun so hot
nothing for lunch
or dinner
what does she want from
me what does she need
the time I stroked her
head as she clutched
me crying beneath the
lunch table
sobbing into me warm
I thought of nothing
she makes me feel stupid
so I let the lips in
my bedroom’s orifices
in they seep empty on
the inside save
saliva and a
trillion thousand
swirling tongues
and stale air
licking me dry
licking me *****
licking licking
glossy and loosey goosey
when the time
comes I unlock
my mind and turn
the outside
inside
to dry and dry lonely wanton
I die tonight an ***
comb  back
through and
read this that was
to me, hello. pitty the
the poor disillusioned soul
who forgets to forget me.
pretty girls
don’t tell
them they
are beautiful
such a waste
to let them
know.

Stale smoke floats molten,
in particle clouds haloed
around a sleepy skull.
Touch moonskin every time
you lift a hand to flush rivers
of air through your hair.
I am the air so I know
infinitesimal and everywhere
can’t escape me so I know
who your tears are for.
Your mother never left you.
Though her warmth is gone
and your flesh may not again meet
remember she always said
you are what you eat.
Well, you buried your mother
under grass and then ate salad,
threw her to ferocious flames
filled a fist she so graciously gave to you
with ashes and flung her to the winds.
Breathe in deeply.
Now in your lungs
her dust sticks to join
tar where I steep
waiting anxious to reclaim you.
**** another death stick, inhale
me in lungfuls during lunch
breaks. Though you’ve wronged me
and surely will again,
I’ll lend you air
to smoke a *** now and then
and welcome you, with dusted
open eyes, when time comes
to take you home.

I’d like to think
That someday I’ll
become a person who
never eats what
isn’t truly delicious
and then I like to hope
it’ll never happen.
Chasms and trenches
are dubbed
such when the depth
is unknown and
this is how the
rift inside me extends,
forever downward
like a true line.
I know not what lies on either side
or how far apart the walls
are spread. What troubles
me the most is this lack of knowledge
in particular:
which will I prefer,
the lack of knowledge
or the irreversible
impregnation of my mind
by a higher resolution
picture of myself?

God give her to me
and we could live alone
I could make her happy I
think I could make her
healthy and strong. I would
be too. Focusing on breathing
alone in our house in the
lonely woods in some far
away bustling city
not idealistic or self indulgent
but plausible. hiding away
forever with plenty of
water and fresh fruit washing
her back. I could do it,
play the man. strong,
I am not muscled but
capable of holding this
girl up sewing her up at
the seams keeping her up
each morning to witness
the sun rise over the
mountains treetops bird
nests haloed by sky
scrapers. learning and
loving and making a life
together far away from
home, we needn’t any
plot development save
love love love and
more of it smiles
in the naked darkness
love and *******
keeping each other clean.
I know I could because I know
I cant darling, but I want to.
She doesn’t want me
but she doesn’t
want to be without me
allow it, except that
fate commands
my arms around you like
the noose you so desire.
I will recreate the rumblings of
womb and coffin tonight
child. All I ask of
you is to say hello
to the sun
again again again
get up from that fall
a hundred times
again a hundred more
maybe a million
for me.
I will fill your belly brimming
and your heart will overflow,
as mother and as lover
can I will.

I. Blood
Red is color that appears without its name
uninvited like spectators from beyond the field.
To make you hurt was never not my intent.
Now even dripping,
you must pay to see the ball game.
II. Hound
In a lot obscured by mountains
we played because no eyes watched
you were snatched away
into sprawling dirtied concrete
and no eyes watched.
III. ******
In an alley obscured by lamp’s lack
a man strapped for cash
unstrapped a knife from where it belted
and took as he pleased
more than he ought to have
and the night said, “Nothing.”.
IV. Song
The no noise of your
feet against marble chills me
The no song of your warbling voice
fills me as I near death
What music will hide away
your silence?

I am sage burned at a religious ceremony. I am
offering myself up to you. I am the bird by your
window in the morning, the sputtering moth on
the wall at night. I am nothing more than a young
girl of seventeen. I am nothing anymore but what
I want truly to be. I am the greatest and only love
of yours. I am dying every day growing more and
more corroded. I am growing more each day. I am
relying on you to water me, to prune my leaves and
mind your step. I am bleeding below but you finger
me, deeply anyway, reaching down inside, digging a
hole to plant your seeds, watering daily. I am hoping
to move to Japan and teach English, but now I am
thinking of you so much of the time. I am growing
anxious each day, feeling guilty for my insecurities.
I am thinking I am ugly and useless and unlovable.
I am loathing the self who thinks it. I am glad you
disagree. I am planning on keeping these emotions
inside, burying them deep beneath dirt layers until
they are detritus. I am using all of the nutrients for
this task we’ve undertaken. I am sage covering the
mountains. I am bird weaving the trees. I am rich
soil, deep inside the earth.