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2.1k · Dec 2010
It's Been Awhile
Heather Stiles Dec 2010
It's been awhile since I've heard your voice,
That warm comforting voice,
Always uttering helpful words of wisdom.
You always knew so much more about life than I,
Teaching me day by day.

You watched me grow into a women,
Always supporting me no matter what.
You were so proud of what I was becoming,
loving me endlessly without question, never judging,
While you were watching me mature into the person I am today,
I was watching you struggle to stay alive.

You said over and over that everything would end up all right in the end,
You always knew just what to say to make the world seem like it was
on our side,
You were wrong this time mom-
The world wasn't on our side.

It took you away from me,
Leaving my alone, longing for your love, motherless.
Without someone to tell me I was beautiful,
To wipe my tears away as they rolled down my cheeks,
Without someone to share my fears, my joys, and my triumphs.

I heard your voice again last night,
I've missed it every day since you've been gone,
I saw your smile again last night,
I've been wishing for it every hour since you've been away.

In my dream you said
You'd always be near
and now that I think of it,
you said the same thing
the day you died.

You always did know what to say
to make the world seem like it
was on our side.
1.5k · Dec 2010
My Bff
Heather Stiles Dec 2010
You're....
My friend,
My companion,
Through good times and bad.
My friend, my buddy,
Through happy and sad.
Beside me you walk,
Beside me you stand,
Your there to listen,
Your there to talk,
With happiness, with smiles,
With pain and tears,
I know you'll be there,
Throughout the years!
Tears may come and go,
But there's one thing i know.
All my life your a friend of mine.
you can depend on me
I'll be fine...
Cause your the number one bff of mine.
If your alone,
I'll be your shadow.
If you want to cry,
I'll be your shoulder.
If you want a hug,
I'll be your pillow.
If you need to be happy,
I'll be your smile.
But anytime you need a friend,
I'll just be me.
1.3k · Dec 2010
Testimony of A Teenager
Heather Stiles Dec 2010
Life is hard,
I can't explain why,
No one knows,
How hard I try,
When things are tough,
When life is bad,
I just pretend,
That I'm not sad,
I don't know how,
To let you know,
The pain I feel,
The hurt I don't show,
Life is hard,
Not just for me,
Things that happen are meant to be,
I can't be happy every day,
But that doesn't mean,
That things aren't okay,
I don't crave attention,
I thrive by myself,
I'm not always,
In need of your help,
Life is hard,
But things will be alright,
Now i sleep,
Through the night,
My life is on track,
The pieces are in place,
But I need my own time,
I need my own space,
I'm different now,
I need you to see,
I'm not anyone else,
I'm just me.
824 · Dec 2010
I'm Sorry
Heather Stiles Dec 2010
I'm sorry for all the times I lost my temper
For the times when I was rude
For all the gifts that were given
And never received thank yous
For all the love you've given me
And I haven't given back.
For all the times you was patient
A virtue that I lack.
I'm sorry for all the people
To whom I was so cruel
To all the people I laughed at
I acted like a fool.
I couldn't see past your imperfections
I couldn't see past my pride
Your feelings I templed all over
On my high horse I would ride.
I'm sorry for all the times I lied
For the people I hurt along the way
Not a day goes by that I don't regret it
And I'd take It back any day.
The only person I cared about
Was me and only me
And now I'm truly sorry
I only wish i could make you see.
I'm sorry for everything I've done
For all the people I let down
I'm only asking for a second chance
So I can turn things back around.
I know that it's a little late
My deed's can't be undone
i realize now that I was wrong
And I'm sorry everyone.
628 · Dec 2010
Nightmares
Heather Stiles Dec 2010
A new dawn emerges
With it's layers and layers
Of pinks and yellows.

As the sun swallows up my
bedroom with satin rays of sunlight
I wake...
Sweaty and screaming.
Foolish and alone.
And so I continue on...
Living each day
Feeling his sweat...
And hearing his heavy breath
In the back of my mind
Every time silence creeps up on me.

Later I watch the sun, so naive
Crawl under the horizon...
And I get restless as dusk approaches
For I know that when my head hits
That pillow...
The fight begins...
And he always wins.
In the end.

Carrying my innocence off
Holding it up to the moonlight
Kicking and screaming until
...Finally...
He leaves it and walks away
While it is raw and naked
Shaking on the cold ground.

... Until a new dawn emerges
With its layers and layers
Of pinks and yellows...
Good Morning
625 · Dec 2010
Seize The Day
Heather Stiles Dec 2010
Just a moment in this lifetime,
Just a tragedy ahead,
Not knowing where each turn will lead,
Within seconds we might be dead,
Live each day to the fullest,
Don't stop to wonder why,
Do everything your heart desires,
In dreams, reach for the sky.
Surprises at every stop sign,
With it's share of wrong ways and dead-ends.
Statistics dont help you with the future,
They only tell you where you've been.
With so many people among us,
There are no certainties.
All it takes is just one person,
To reroute history.
Don't waste one single moment,
How very precious that they are,
What seems a long way off,
Is really not that far.
Heather Stiles Dec 2010
It amazes me how much I hate you
Gow much I wouldn't mind
If you could just leave for the entire rest of my life
And I would smile
I would smile and laugh
And happily forget your memory
Forget all the good times we've had together
Because you are a *****.
You think you're better than everyone else
You think youc an do anything
Do anyone
go wherever you want
Say whatever you please
But that's jsut not how life is
Were not all going to calmly just take it from you
Were not all going to sit back
While you brag and post and lie
Were not all going to be your best friend
Were not all going to just go with your *******
Because some of us are going to get sick of it eventually.
We are not all going to sit back
While you laugh at us
And destroy us
And wreck us
While you have your fun.
No were not all going to just
Go with the flow.
And I hope one day
You get it all back just as hard as you've dished it
Because you know, you deserve it
And I hope I'm around
To see you fall
So I can laugh
The same way
You do to me
Every day.
574 · Dec 2010
What I Love About You
Heather Stiles Dec 2010
I love the way you look at me,
You're eyes so bright and blue.
I love the way you kiss me,
Your lips so soft and smooth.

I love the way you make me so happy,
And the way you show you care.
I love the way you say, "I love you,"
And the way you're always there.

I love the way you touch me,
Always sending chills down my spine,
I love that you are with me,
And glad that you are mine.
544 · Dec 2010
Eternity
Heather Stiles Dec 2010
I Lie in bed at night and pray,
That you will think of me.
I cry until my eyelids close,
And dream- Eternity.

I wake to sunlight on my face,
For a moment I forget.
Then a cloud passes by,
And I realize, this is it.

I carry on throughout the day,
Feigning joy, and feeling pain.
I long to gaze upon your face,
And share a smile, an embrace.

The day is drawing to an end,
And still I think of you.
I try to relax, yet in my mind,
I wonder what to do.

So now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the lord, my soul will keep.
And should you chance to think of me,
Know that I love you- Eternally.
533 · Dec 2010
Again
Heather Stiles Dec 2010
If when you wake up in the morning,
And the hurting is so great,
You don't want to get out of bed.
And face a world of hate.
If everything in life goes wrong,
And nothing you do seems right,
You just try a little harder,
And soon you'll see the light.
For every person who has put you down,
And filled your life with pain,
You must strive to achieve greatness,
And show them you can win.
For every disappointment,
For the times you are let down,
There will be a better moment,
And your life will turn around.
Because everyone feels heartache,
And everyone feels pain,
But only those who have true courage,
Can get up and try again.
530 · Dec 2010
Dying For You
Heather Stiles Dec 2010
Sometimes this life is too much to take,
Breaking down at every little mistake.
I wish I felt brand new
But all i've done is come unglued.
When I'm with you,
It all fades away
My life stock of glue is what I have found in you
My mind traveling to places far away
So far no one can touch
No one can see
No one can hear me
No one but you
Only you can see, hear, and touch me
For you are the only one I love
Every moment i'm with you, you are my glue.
Holding me together so very tightly,
When you leave my glue goes too
I crumble to pieces
Never to take true form again
Because you left my side
When you left my heart shattered
Beginning the cycle of my life falling apart
Piece by piece it chips away
Little by little I disappear
Without you there I disapear
Without you there is no glue
Nothing's holding me together good as you
And slowly but surely the last piece falls away
Never to be seen again.
514 · Dec 2010
Loving you...
Heather Stiles Dec 2010
Loving you has taught me so much...
It's taught me how to live, how to breathe...
- How to hold and never let go
- How to kiss and make it last forever
Loving you has taught me more than any book has ever  could...
It taught me that giving is much better than receiving...
- Sometimes saying nothing at all can mean so much more
- Sometimes a simple look can tell it all
Loving you has showed me so much....
It has showed me that love has no boundaries and doesn't expect to make any...
- That sharing and giving you all is a risk, that you just have to take.
- That love can feel so good...
But never to forget that it hurts sometimes too.
Loving you has made me realize...
- That you can't live life for granted
- You can't hold back and expect to live and love completely.
-  You can't give up when everyone else already has
And loving you has taught me that,
When you give your all
And still lose the one person you thought that would never walk out on you.
Life goes on...
But still I'll never stop,
LOVING YOU!
476 · Dec 2010
Lover's Nightmare
Heather Stiles Dec 2010
Love you and i'm here to stay,
That is what you always say.
Kiss me and I can barely breathe,
Sending bolts into my knees,
Distance draws us far apart,
Passion still bleeding in my heart,
Love devine and of so true,
Hoping that you feel it too,
I dreamt about you twice last night,
Standing there and holding you tight,
Keeping your hands on my waist,
I still remember how you taste,
I love you i need you thats what you say,
The snow starts falling and the sky turns grey,
I laugh and kiss you and say how could I leave,
The only place I want you is right next to me,
Then suddenly your gone and I start to cry,
Waking up with tears in my eyes,
Rolling over to kiss your face,
But your not there and my heart starts to race,
Right now I need you more than most,
To hear you breathe, to kiss your nose,
Just to lay there watching you dream,
But your not here I just want to scream,
I sit there now not able to sleep,
My hands are shaking and I start to weep,
I can still see you there, snow falling in your face,
Watching the sky turn from blue to grey,
I think about it for awhile longer,
WishinG I could be much stronger,
That beautiful dream turned into a nightmare,
Most of it was fuzzy but your face was so clear,
And suddenly it hits me,
Like a car going sixty,
I sit there and smile for the longest time,
Dreams aren't real and I know your not either.
440 · Dec 2010
Lover's Nightmare
Heather Stiles Dec 2010
Love you and i'm here to stay,
That is what you always say.
Kiss me and I can barely breathe,
Sending bolts into my knees,
Distance draws us far apart,
Passion still bleeding in my heart,
Love devine and of so true,
Hoping that you feel it too,
I dreamt about you twice last night,
Standing there and holding you tight,
Keeping your hands on my waist,
I still remember how you taste,
I love you i need you thats what you say,
The snow starts falling and the sky turns grey,
I laugh and kiss you and say how could I leave,
The only place I want you is right next to me,
Then suddenly your gone and I start to cry,
Waking up with tears in my eyes,
Rolling over to kiss your face,
But your not there and my heart starts to race,
Right now I need you more than most,
To hear you breathe, to kiss your nose,
Just to lay there watching you dream,
But your not here I just want to scream,
I sit there now not able to sleep,
My hands are shaking and I start to weep,
I can still see you there, snow falling in your face,
Watching the sky turn from blue to grey,
I think about it for awhile longer,
WishinG I could be much stronger,
That beautiful dream turned into a nightmare,
Most of it was fuzzy but your face was so clear,
And suddenly it hits me,
Like a car going sixty,
I sit there and smile for the longest time,
Dreams aren't real and I know your not either.
437 · Dec 2010
Would You Just Listen
Heather Stiles Dec 2010
Would you just listen and please don't say a word, just yet.
I'd like you to think back to the very first time we met,
How you felt around me? The memories we shared,
And just remember that once upon a time, you really cared.

Now think about how we parted, and how much i cried,
But please don't speak, remember that I never ever lied,
That I told you the honest truth about why we were to split,
But now I'd like you to know that my heart broke bit by bit.

The pain was deep, unbearable and painful, for so many years,
I'll never forget all the sadness, all the uncontrollable tears,
Slowly I am rebuilding my life, I am content with what I've got,
And although it is hard I am beginning to forget what i have not.

You were a special part of my life that I will never forget,
A part of my life that broke my heart, but that I don't regret,
You gave me some happy memories that I'll keep in my heart,
Although sometimes I wish that you and I didn't have to part.

You were my first love and my true love, that will always be so,
After all of the heartache, sadness and never ending pain, I know,
You and I had something special and that will never change,
Because I love you and loving someone else will always seem strange.

Would you just listen and please don't say a word, not ever,
I'd like you to remember that once upon a time, we said forever,
That I had hopes and dreams, that I was the one who threw them away,
And this is something I will always regret until my dying day.

— The End —