You have taught me so many things

You taught me:
how easily a stranger can become an acquaintance that brightens your day, a co-worker that makes work a little more exciting
how abrupt that pang of disappointment can be when I didn't see your face
how maddening it is to keep your feelings to yourself
how rewarding it is to get those feelings off your chest, because you felt the same way
how crazy butterflies can be - when my stomach would turn in anticipation of seeing you
how childishly young I can feel, giddy with hopes of hanging out with you or getting a text
how both electrifying, and paralyzing, a first kiss can be
that love can grow seemingly overnight and that your whole life becomes consumed with thoughts of the other
that hearing "I love you" whispered from your dear one's arms is what would probably be described as Heaven
that I deserve to feel special, and beautiful, and wanted, and happy
that holding someone's hand or cuddling can instantly make you forget a bad day
how heart-wrenching leaving you miles away could be (even if we were only apart for two weeks)
what the first hug and kiss after getting off the plane should feel like
how nice it is to feel stable, comfortable, and make plans for the future

How quickly everything can change
that sometimes people won't include you, even if you're there for them and even if they love you
how drifting apart can make time stand still
how many tears a single person can cry
that wondering what the other one is doing can drive you into a form of depression
how realizing he's not ever going to be the perfect boyfriend again can hurt
that doubting everything you ever did isn't healthy, because it's not your fault
how not being a priority can make you the angriest you've ever felt
how distrustful I become of believing those words...I love you
that I still feel crazy about you
how it's possible to be upset and mad at someone and still want to fix all their problems and give them everything they want
how hard it is to let go
that sitting at home isn't going to help anything
that thinking about the golden days, when I knew you loved me so much that it was unbelievable even to me, isn't going to bring us back together
that you have a lot of growing up to do and things to work on
that my wonderful prince isn't always wonderful
that I also have growing up to do, and much more to learn
that a few months with you were some of the best of my life and I've never felt more special
how a real relationship should feel - and even though it wasn't perfect, I still feel like it was

And finally:
you won't be the one I have that relationship with, but you taught me what to look for when I'm ready

And for that I'll always be grateful

Isn’t it funny how as we age, we need less sleep?

Babies’ lives consist of it. Their time is infinite.

Children need many hours to rest growing bodies and minds. They have a different and separate life to live.

Maybe adolescents and adults do it to escape the hassles of daily life. They have lived long enough to expect struggle and uncertainty.

The elderly sleep less than everyone else. The clock ticks away what remains of their lives.

Dreamland dwindles as their time on earth fades. Tired eyes and tired hearts are what are left.

We love sleep, we dream in sleep.

Have their dreams been found and achieved, or do they float away with lost souls?

We love sleep, we hope in sleep.

Do their lives end when bodies fail, or are they just beginning?

We love sleep, we search in sleep.

Can they reconnect with loved ones, like in a fairy tale, or never see their faces again, as if in a nightmare?

We love sleep, we rest in sleep.

Do their cares melt away, or do their minds become crazed, like restless legs in the night?

We love sleep, we pray in sleep.

Is there a God they meet in Heaven, or an evil Devil in Hell?

We love sleep, we work in sleep.

Do they have room for regrets, or has all their energy been expended?

We love sleep, we die in sleep.

Is there a point at which they know, and go peacefully with no resistance, or do they refuse to acknowledge, fighting bitterly?

We love sleep, we live asleep.

Did they realize in life that they were asleep the whole time, passive pawns in a big world, or did they know enough to be awake, because a far longer, unknown sleep would follow?

Feel the disconnect
When you're sitting in a room that's full
But you're still scared and lonely

Disconnect
When you're surrounded by friends
But ache for family far away

Disconnect
When he tells you you're beautiful
But the one you're thinking of is already taken

Disconnect
When you thought life would be so much more
But it's really the same as it ever was

Disconnect
When what you desperately wanted isn't what you get
But you take it anyway

Disconnect
To find your own place in time
Because you know what you need
And what's yours is mine

I go to great heights to prove myself
Anger is kept inside, it is too personal for the world's eyes

I exercise caution with each interaction
My presence is barely felt
A gentle reminder that life is not always gentle

I am a pronoun in the vast language of people
Many worries can eat away at a heart, so I choose just one

I am an incarnation of an idea that even I cannot pinpoint
My intention is to be happy
I shudder at the cliche

I am not conservative, although I may seem that way
It is an attempt to blend in
Complications, bumps in the road
These frustrate, even infuriate, me

I require absolutes. Uncertainty destroys
Robot life would be magical
Emotion is for the weak

I try not to preach, only listen
Ideas are nothing more than words strung together
These strings become puzzles for your enjoyment

My hair falls flat and lifeless
Your fingers no longer run through it
My forehead crinkles in bitter thought
Since your lips no longer rest there so easily
My eyes brim uncontrollably throughout the day
Because yours no longer meet mine with any feeling
My nose doesn't feel much different,
Except your hand no longer gives it those playful pokes
My cheeks still get warm and red
But now it's with embarrassment at what a fool I am, you obviously no longer find me attractive
My mouth forms frowns more than ever
When I'm lost in memories since you no longer breathe life into me with every kiss
My neck feels too exposed
Now that your hands and mouth no longer gently move there

My shoulders both sag and carry tension
You no longer provide joy (or give shoulder rubs)
My arms feel empty
Your body no longer presses against mine in a warm embrace
My hands grasp thin air in the night
When I wake up and remember your fingers no longer interlock with mine
My chest always feels tighter
When I see your face because your heart no longer beats for me
My stomach rolls in a much different way
Because you no longer give me butterflies

My back doesn't feel strong
Like it should for someone of my age since you no longer give me reasons to feel strong
My thighs are simply a part of my body
They don't tremble anymore because your hot breath and touch no longer linger there
My knees are weak
When I think that you may have no longer loved me for a long time
My feet ache at the end of the day and it's noticeable
Because I stood through another day with you no longer by my side

My brain tells me that you're no good for me, it wasn't meant to be
You no longer have the feelings I'll always feel for you
My heart tells me it can beat without you, it's stronger than all of this
But it's having an awfully hard time now that you're no longer mine

Humanity is losing the fight.
Moving toward a dismal place,
Giving up on what is right.
There's more to it than black and white,
Watch indifference creep over a collective face
Humanity is losing the fight.

The storm is closing in with a winter's bite
God is a lawyer, building His case
He's giving up on what is right.
Soldiers battle and prove their might
The planet morphs into a spinning military base
Humanity is losing the fight.

Wishing to be like birds, to soar in flight
Imaginary machine, with a button labeled "Erase"
It is giving up on what is right.

Hurry or the glimmer will vanish in the depths of night
No time for steady pick up the pace
Humanity is losing the fight.
Giving up on what is right.

Be my always friend

Not my sometimes, come and go, convenience, lonely day, bad week, or lost touch friend

Text me to say "good morning", or just to say hi
Look into my eyes
not just a glance
really look to see if I'm good like I say I am
Hug me at random times
not to show possession or cure any wrongs
just so I know you care
Invite me on adventures
we can travel the world
or walk down the street
I just want to be by your side
Make fun of me
not maliciously or all the time
point out my flaws in a loving way
Watch my favorite movies when you're alone
they'll give you a better understanding of how I see the world
Be a kid with me
we'll eat ice cream for breakfast and watch cartoons
But I know you'll do all of these things

Don't buy me things all the time
admiration can't be bought
Jealousy isn't nice, either
our bond is stronger than keeping an eye on who I spend time with
Don't pressure me to do anything
ever. period.
Don't compliment me
if it isn't true
I don't want false praise and I can feel the truth
Don't ask me to be anything I'm not
if you don't like me, leave
But I know you won't do any of these things

You're my always friend

A new day begins with the dark of night
Cars **** by, leaving excessive gusts
Few people stroll along
But many hustle
To reach the warmth of their homes

The homeless beg for money
Just some change, please
Eyes downcast, head bowed, walk on by
Caught up in your own mind
Next time you'll give them some

A mother sits by faint light on the 10th floor
Her baby sleeps, but worries plague her
Teenagers party the night away
Deeming who's cool with a measurement of drinks
I scan the city from a distance

Peace overcomes me in this darkness
Surely nothing is too bad
The moon is shrouded in smoke
Stars poke out to say goodnight
Muffled, quiet noise pervades

Busy starts to fade
Take it all in
Those glittering points in the jagged outline
Against the onyx backdrop
This art is now yours

You share it
And it's yours
Hands in pockets, breath streaming out
Slowly wander back
To your tiny pinpoint

Look out the window
Night is intense
Frosty snow glows in the dark
This is all that should be
Swirling, beautiful emotion...hold on to it

For the day sheds harsh light on what was timid and joyful in the night

The rarest silence is the most precious

Pure stillness of your body
Quiet peace that's in your soul
Happy bubble rising in your chest
Knowledge that you will be just fine
Amazement that you're here, right now
Beauty in your surroundings
Thoughts that weigh you down expelled
Gratefulness for the people you love
Sadness that time is limited
Realization that sadness is fleeting because

Pure joy fills you now
Quiet, Mother Nature is
Happy to experience what you have
Knowledge growing through the years
Amazement because you have achieved a
Beauty so great, so perfect for you, that your
Thoughts take a swelling leap into
Gratefulness for life, with not an ounce of
Sadness, but you've come to the
Realization that

This silence might not exist
Banish fear - you must hear your silence clearly

Sing me a song full of love
Sing me a song full of hope
Sing me a song filled with life,
not goodbyes like the song in your eyes

I have always been true
Even when I knew the same
was not returned from you
Optimism hurts when
reality's much worse
Naivete scars later on

But happiness comes
at the most unexpected times
Or maybe there's a reason for yours
One that I ignore
until my head becomes sore
Because all I want to hear is your voice

Sing me a song full of love
Sing me a song full of hope
Sing me a song filled with life,
not goodbyes like the song in your eyes

Sometimes I can feel your pain
But it's fleeting, leaving me wandering
Oh no, here we go again
Ups and downs, you spin me
around until I can't think straight

Disorientation can be a lovely medication
For the heart's tribulations
Until you realize
That's all you'll ever feel

Sing me a song full of love
Sing me a song full of hope
Sing me a song filled with life,
not goodbyes like the song in your eyes

One more week until I'm home
Will you be there? Or has someone
else stolen your life?
Mine will go on either way,
one choice just hurts more at the
end of the day

You parted from me
Stoic as can be
And I sit by myself to figure
What it was all about
I may never know, but one last time
would you please

Sing me a song full of love
Sing me a song full of hope
Sing me a song filled with life,
not goodbyes like the song in your eyes

The problem with truth is it's real
More than just reality
Reality is a state of mind, it can change
You can feel truth deep down

Deep down where you didn't want to go
Your mind tried, but you said no
"Leave that alone" it whispered
As a new thought rushed in to fill the void

The problem with truth is it's messy
No precise rhythm or rhyme
Just a bundle of soul-certain fact
That turns life into one endless question

Why are 'real' and 'messy' problems?
Maybe they aren't,
Maybe our response is the problem
We see a bit of truth...and still
We live falsely

I love you, but not in that way.
You're a friend. A good friend and nothing more.
We share stories, secrets, laughs, interests, and time.
So much time, yet it isn't nearly enough. Not the same.
Your words come through a screen because you're too far away from me.
But distance doesn't matter. Your face is pressed into my memory and it never leaves.

I think of what could be, but then I stop. Why complicate this?
You're still here for me. You're sweet like that. A true friend.
We have a lifetime to keep it up. We talk every day.
So why do I wonder what you're doing and who you're with more often than I should?
Your choices have nothing to do with me. That's tough. I want them to include me.
But I continue this way because I have some of you. Some is better than none.

I want to be in your life. Really in it. Living it with you.
You're more important to me than I can let on. You'll see through me.
We don't exist as we. There's you. And me. It sounds stupid, but there is a difference.
So I pass the time and try to distract myself.
Your day is the same length as mine. I'd still bet mine is longer.
But we live our separate lives together. It's ok. We're friends and nothing will ever change that.
I love you in that way. The thought makes me bubble with joy and tear up from pain.