So many thoughts run through my head and I can't help but wonder all of these things:
Who you were
Who you are
Who you will become
Will I be there to know
Where you are
What you're doing
WHO you're doing
What may coarse through your veins...
****, beer, coke oh thats for sure
but new things are what you like to do
******, ecstasy, straight up *****...you're going to end up dead...are you already dead?!
I can't believe you ran away, it's been so long since you've been home
I'm so worried about you even though we don't talk anymore...
Are you under a bridge? Walking the streets? In someones bed? ...Or are you holding hands with the monster again?
Are you with Mike, Jesse, Tina or Rae? I never thought I'd see the day...
Where you would lose all hope, leave me completely behind, and cut the last strand on your rope.
It's official...you're shot at a normal life is over, just like you always wanted...but can't you see that running away doesn't change a **** thing?
Just go home! Do whatever your doing there...so at least we know you're alive!
The last thing I want is to be the only person at your funeral sober and have to speak on your behalf..after realizing I never really knew you...because in your mind you've always been alone

Mid-summer day
Backyard of my house
Needed to tell you so much

Pulled me in
15 second kiss
Fell for you so much

Eyes so blue
Smile so beautiful
Wanted to be yours forever
You felt the same.

Long walks
for
Long night

Just for you
to
Hold me...

Kisses,
Hugs,
Dances,
Perfection

Love you never had before
Feelings I never had before

Only me and you
In Heaven...

Poems written about love,
Memories made everyday,
Jealousy rose in her.

Couldn't sleep without you
Didn't sleep just to be with me
Fell so deep in love
You felt the same.

Ashlin?
Kaitlyn?
Cousins?
Don't you feel the same?

Car
Scream
Tears

You Don't
Feel
The same!

When you
Loved me
I loved...
myself

I never thought I would say that
I never thought there'd be you...

Kisses
Difference
You slept all night

Ashlin?
Fake?
Jealously in one heart
Ruins all love

You never talk
2 Months pass

Ashley?
Girlfriend?
Same jealous heart
Set this up

You just won't talk
10 months pass

Missed you,
Called,
Talked,
Friends again

Ashley?
Broke up?
Even more time passes...

Still love you
Still mad at me

Can never have
What we had
back...

Long nights
Of a different kind
Cuts on the inside

All because...
Of one jealous heart

Mid-summer days?
Never the same again
Poems now...
Also different

About jealous hearts
And loneliness

In my dreams we're in love
In reality I don't know you anymore

In my dreams I can fly...and you fly with me
In reality I can't even touch you

In my dreams we aren't afraid
In reality there's never a moment I'm not scared

In my dreams anything is possible
In reality nothing is possible

In my dreams there's a special place for everything
In reality there is no place for me...or us

In my dreams everyone loves me for me
In reality if I open my mouth no one understands

In my dreams this makes sense to all of you
In reality I know you don't get it

In my dreams I am confident
In reality I'm not allowed to be

In my dreams it feels so real
In reality I feel so fake

But as I always say..."Dreams are only in your head"

When I sit on my porch and the tears start to flow
I begin to realize that I'll never let go

This part of me will always be here
Now it all is finally clear

You may help me by being a lover
But nothing is true, I'll always be a cutter

I thought one day it would all go away
That the clouds would open up and no longer be gray

But this monster will be a part of me
And that is how it'll always be

I made this mistake so long ago
Now I get high when I see my blood flow

I'm so sorry that I cannot change
I know it must seem very strange

A person who will always cut
Will never be out of this stupid rut

Can be with some one who would never do such a thing
My everything, the yang to my ying

I hope that you can take me for me
That together we can always be

Even though the monster won't let go
And everyday my tears will flow

It's always dark inside this room called my heart.
And it works in the weirdest ways.

Its been cut, It's been hurt, It's been torn into pieces...
But somehow it pulls itself together.

It heals the hurt, it heals the pain
It fixes itself till it's whole again.

Ripped apart, pulled back together
My heart can go through any weather.

You can stab it, and then leave it all alone...
After time it will still regrow.

The heart works in mysterious ways...
It gets hurt, played, and torn but still isn't fazed.

It bleeds for a day
Then it says "no way"

Pulls itself together...
It's dark but still finds light

But just because I numb to you,
Doesn't mean you shouldn't love me through and through.

Just because I'm telling you...
All the thing that I can go through

Doesn't mean you shouldn't even try
For even the strongest things can die...

I guess you changed your mind
I guess this is goodbye

I guess I messed up
I guess you won't tell me why

I guess I'm not what you wanted me to be
I guess you don't care that I'm sorry

I guess there is no "second chance"
I guess that it's to late

I guess I should get over it
I guess I should stop guessing

You're not coming back

I hear my phone ring and I keep thinking its you
...But it's not

So I guess this is goodbye

Find me where I hid myself
Among the leaves and trees

Find me where I hid myself
While I'm crying on my knees

Find me where I hid myself
For I truly hate being alone

Find me where I hid myself
So my heart and mind don't roam



I didn't want to hide myself
I just felt you didn't care

I didn't want to hide myself
I can still hear your voice in the air

I didn't want to hide myself
But the past returns to hurt

I didn't want to hide myself
But did because I'm burnt



Please save me from this wall I built
It's towering to high

Please save me from this wall I built
And teach me how to fly

Please save me from this wall I built
I'm screaming and terrified

Please save me from the wall I built
Though my heart already died