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heather Oct 2013
all the tiny wires
in my wrist
unsure which
to cut
to disarm
the bomb.
heather Oct 2013
the blonde hair and blue eyes
are just my disguise
i have a vicious dark mind
though i smile and try to be kind
if only you could realize
that it's all silly lies
there's no need to cry
but don't let it slip by
heather Oct 2013
sometimes the fortress around one's heart
isn't there to keep someone out
but rather,
it's there to keep something in.

something so great,
that if let loose,
it will eat you alive.
heather Aug 2013
While I'm sleeping, my shadow dances.
She creeps out from under me, cautiously at first, careful not to wake me.
Only when she is confident in her freedom does she begin to waltz over the flowers of my old wallpaper.
Hauntingly, she sings the songs that I have never been able to find the words for,
she sings of the things that I have been afraid to say.
In what I lack, she gains.
The manifestation of my doubts and fears, she is able to make them into something beautiful,
something fleeting but tangible.
Nothing less than graceful, she carelessly glides around the room,
flawlessly leaping and twirling.
Sympathetic of the flesh that weighs me down,
but also envious of my existence.
For she is just my shadow,
and if I'm lucky, I can catch her out of the corner of my eye,
slipping back into her rightful place,
forever condemned to be just that--
a shadow.
heather Oct 2013
counting down the days till i choke on the words i should have spoke and
croak just like every other bloke
beaten and worn like a queen between spokes
sitting in the bathroom cutting lines of coke
bask and soak in the stale smoke
i could end it all in one swift stroke or
at the end of one tight rope
easily provoked and not one to poke fun
i'm the slimy yolk
swallow me raw and i'll crawl
right back up your throat
choke
heather Dec 2013
please forgive me
if i don't talk much
there's too much conversation
in my head
and to speak anything
into existence
would be unnecessary
heather Apr 2014
the helicopter's searchlight
against the trees project the
shadows of leaves bobbing in the street to
impersonate the reflection of water
it looks beautiful, honestly
until the
slaps of my soles on
suspect blacktop bring me
back and i wonder
who the hell they're looking for
heather Nov 2013
back to the basics
of vibrating atoms
geometric patterns
accept reality
as a projection
of senses and
unseen dimensions
attract what you need
and always feed the dream.
heather Oct 2013
my insides
are too
acidic to
host a
fragile thing
like love.
heather Sep 2013
when i'm
six feet under,
will you think
of me then?
heather Oct 2013
i could
write a book
on the things
i feel about you
or make a song
out of the way you
pull and pluck
at my heart strings
heather Oct 2013
he may be cheating on his girlfriend
with me
but i'm cheating on myself
with him
heather Sep 2013
here's to the misfits
and the underdogs
the ones that won't quit
and the underachievers

here's to the reckless
and the foolish
the ones with minds left to lose
and guts left to spill
heather Sep 2013
i don't think i'll ever be normal
i can't erase the things i know
and i know too much
that is my own personal burden
the fact that i can't be comfortable
in ignorance any longer
that ship has sailed
heather Oct 2013
i ran out of distractions
now melancholy fills
the room.
heather Oct 2013
i can see the weight
of a long heavy sleep
resting on your
eyelids.

you're ready to
close up shop
and pull the
shades down tight.

play dead for
a day or two.
heather Sep 2016
"Write about the things you won't tell me"

Mommy hid her ***** in the china cabinet in the dining room
She liked her naps on the linoleum floor by the dishwasher and
She taught me that wine tastes best from a box
We danced in the kitchen before daddy came home
I stepped on her toes and I could see her double chin and yellow teeth
I was graceful and she was beautiful and the Dixie Chicks were sincere
The dog barked, the time marked
I didn't know any better

Daddy turned the music down
And mommy got her face stuck on the end of her cigarette

....
Work in progress
heather Nov 2016
Body begins blank
You press me to fill it with words
"Did you write in your journal today, Heather? Stop making excuses."
I like to write about you
How you make me feel like I have a belly full of honey and potential and nostalgia
And how that weighs on the lightness that
I have been a ******* warrior to attain
Your hand on my thigh holds me together
like the sky holds you against the surface of the ocean when you lie still
And later on, when you kiss all the places your hands wander, it's hard to not love you
"What's your biggest fear? Write about that."
heather Aug 2013
verbal warfare,
the cruelest kind.
sickly syllables
pierce the skin with every beat.
sentences strung together with an intangible toxin,
the deadliest of weapons.

two opponents,
spewing words
spawned from the unholiest of places.
their only goal to cut the other down.
to see whose poison is more potent.
who can strike the strongest blow.

it's the kamikaze pilot
versus
the suicide bomber.
you can't have verbal warfare
without letting your own ugly show.
**** your kindness.
suffocate your sympathy.
show no mercy.

after all,
there's no going back.
heather Oct 2013
one pill
two pill
three pill
four
how many pills till i drop to the floor
float like smoke
and kiss the ember goodnight
how many pills till it's all right
xanax and rugrats
high and content
no more stress over what i can't prevent

— The End —