“The electron cloud model says that we cannot know exactly where an electron is at any given time, but the electrons are more likely to be in specific areas.”

He drives too fast
Trees blur like a fake Monet
Feet planted on the dash
Someone soaked my tongue in *****
Lined my mouth in velvet
And put me in a box playing Elton John
Moving too slow

Eyes shut, I dream of a linoleum floor
A black front door with a gold knocker
A friend, a dog, a tomato garden, a swing
A crystal placed in a window, creating color
A smell of lavender and thyme and sun
A mom and a dad and a home
Places I couldn’t wait to leave

Cold wood floor in the morning
A stark white door with a peephole
A lawyer, a moving truck, a wheeze, a fear
A stack of boxes, collecting dust
A trip to a hospital and a wedding and a job
A disease and a stepmom and a

He drives too fast

your mouth tastes like all the sweet words
you did not mean
rotting between your teeth
gin on your breath
exhale
i take a shot
every stroke of you inside of me
is proof
i love the pain

Her black tongue between cracked lips
Slack-jawed by what is behind her eyelids
Malignant
A handful of shallow breaths every 60 seconds
Blood pressure plummets
Heart rate rises
Under water
She gurgles
Chokes
A cough

"It's just a cough, Heather. I’m okay.”

Body begins blank
You press me to fill it with words
"Did you write in your journal today, Heather? Stop making excuses."
I like to write about you
How you make me feel like I have a belly full of honey and potential and nostalgia
And how that weighs on the lightness that
I have been a ******* warrior to attain
Your hand on my thigh holds me together
like the sky holds you against the surface of the ocean when you lie still
And later on, when you kiss all the places your hands wander, it's hard to not love you
"What's your biggest fear? Write about that."

"Write about the things you won't tell me"

Mommy hid her ***** in the china cabinet in the dining room
She liked her naps on the linoleum floor by the dishwasher and
She taught me that wine tastes best from a box
We danced in the kitchen before daddy came home
I stepped on her toes and I could see her double chin and yellow teeth
I was graceful and she was beautiful and the Dixie Chicks were sincere
The dog barked, the time marked
I didn't know any better

Daddy turned the music down
And mommy got her face stuck on the end of her cigarette

....

My friend, she drives down the road
She says the leaves droop down when
The rain is coming
She says the trees are far too still,
It'll be a nasty one

Myself, I listen to her
I think about you, the almighty
Storm
I think about me, pulling myself in,
Keeping my back to you
Shaped like the leaf

Your breath blows on the back of my neck while we sleep
And the knot in my gut is still

i could have been a mom this week
but i did that thing of which you
do not speak