I cry
more often than I want,
And I manage to always do it right in front of you.
Something about your face,
Makes my face a canal for rivers of salt and sadness.

But there is always categories of sadness.
You make me so happy, I cry.
You make me laugh so hard, I cry.
You make me miss you, I cry.

I can count on my 20 year old fingers,
how many people I have cried in front of.
1,
2,
3,
4,
and you.

You cry
more often than you want,
And you manage to always do it right in front of me.
Something about my face, and arms.
Makes your face a canal for rivers of salt...
...I will levee them with kisses.

In the darkest hours of the night,
I think of you.

I think of your scent being a blues song,
Playing a lone trumpet
Drifting over my face.

It’s a funny thing,
What the night does to us,
Especially if you aren’t asleep.

But I have dreamed of you,
Eyes looking into your eyes,
You so close to me you breath in my exhale.

In the darkest hours of the night,
I think of you.

I think of your warmth,
Spreading over me like strawberry jam.
Sticky, sweet, and always easy to spread.

The inhibitions of the daylight,
Are lost within the dark.
Stuck in their bedroom with their nightlights.

I have lost all of my layers,
Now here,
Just a skeleton of myself.

In the darkest hours of the night,
I think of you.

I think of your shoulders,
Hard as Atlas,
But soft as the curves in your body.

There is no way I can’t think of you,
You are the night.

You are
as vast as the ocean

Climb up
onto my hometown shores

and let me kiss you once more.

This poem has been removed by author, for limited time.

Dear Hot Straight Actresses,

Stop playing perfect lesbian characters on TV that cause me to become wet on lonely Thursday nights.

It’s the equivalent of waving double chocolate fudge cake in front of a menstruating woman who has just been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes.

To name a few,

Jennifer Beals as Bette Porter on The L Word.
Stop it!

Naya Rivera as the sassy Santana Lopez on Glee.
Stop it!

Angie Harmon as butch goddess Detective Jane Rizzoli on Rizzoli & Isles.
You may be in the closet but you are gay and stop!

And Sara Ramirez and Jessica Capshaw as the married ****** Dr. Cali Torrez and Dr. Arizona Robbins of Grey’s Anatomy.
You…you keep going. You two give me hope.

Hope that someday my insanely high expectations will be met when my hot art collecting, sassy mouthed Doctor with handcuffs in her back pocket jumps from the screen and onto my sweatpants covered lap.
In this crazy assumption that I’ll end up falling out of an apple tree letting gravity push me into the arms of a woman who fixes my broken sense of reality with a amazing great hair and a wedding proposal.

Missing out on the

Hot barista who gives me an extra large when I ask for a small

or the

Budding **** artist who invites me to her galleries only to realize her muse has oddly the same hips as me.

or the

Best friend who is still stuck in the shadows of my closet.

Nope…didn’t see any of those.
I’m too busy watching the **** tube to see what low cut tops they can get away with before they leave the set and back to their husband and 2.5 kids.

All I’m asking is…

…when is it coming out on DVD?

I see you in window panes.
Breath spreading from one corner to the next during a cold fall day.
This is the happiest moment.
And yet, it's never happened...

The fish hooks attached to my ears, leading to you.
A smile passes as I listen to the words they hang off of.
This is the happiest moment.
And yet, it's never happened...

A dress, stitched to my skin, hangs off the curves like water on Niagara Falls.
It's white crest spilling like nature and man wanted it to.
This is the happiest moment.
And yet, it's never happened...

I can only dream of this.
Because it has only been 5 months, since I held you so close to me that our first moment still hangs on my neck, still warm.
And it's not really socially acceptable to be handing over your past, present, and future to someone you met over the internet after only 5 months.
But it seems like a lifetime. Because I knew in the first hour in that car, driving from the airport, that I wanted my life to be spread over yours. Like PB&J; spread over our childhoods in a thick, gooey layer that is in the bottom of your stomach and the top of your mouth making it harder to talk about the times when all you had was Lego and hands.

I knew I wanted 2 things in life from then on.
1) To wake up ever morning with the smell of good coffee and good kisses
2) For you to be my barista.
Here's a tip, you look so good in white.

So let's wait a little longer till I can ask you for that ring in your pocket.
Till you take me to a fancy restaurant, where I put on that confidence you built up for me and you wear that shirt I bought you for our 5 month anniversary.
You have planned all this out. Until you realize I have been waiting since the airport for this question and a plan was never needed.

I can take the waiting.

It will be the happiest moment,
And it will happen soon.

This poem has been removed by author for limited time.