Death is spontaneous
its truthful and real
Death is peaceful
life is hard
And fake
a lie

Death is promised in life
But life isn't promised in death
Death gives us something to look forward to
and count on in life
It's probably the only real thing on earth

You live to die
But you don't die to live

Ive never written
A happy poem
Ive never written
a funny lymric
I feel its just
in my nature
To be sad
And write
depressing poems
Because I guess
Ive felt depressed
more than anything else.

Tears are the
First stage of crying
the part before it gets real
the part before your
Destiny is sealed.
It begins with crying
It begins with hurt
A hurt so strong
It makes you forever alert.
Because after tears
comes more
And after that its worse
until they become uncontrollable
And sometimes you will
Feel much better
but then that day will come
and you will get worse
Forever...

I get it now
I'm the problem
Its all my fault
and you blame me.
I cant do anything right
Because I'll just make them fight
and maybe
Its just them
Did you ever
Think of that?
No.
Because you just want me gone.
You don't think I know that?
I want me gone too!

I cant think
I cant breathe
All I am
Is mad
I breathe deep
I grate my teeth
I squeeze my phone
Till it almost breaks.
But nothing helps
this angry feeling.
maybe if I hadn't
been pushed
To my breaking point
then maybe
I would be ok
Maybe
I wouldn't feel so bad.
Maybe if you
just believed
that not everything is my fault.
it really hurts
that you don't
Believe me!
You just blame me
Don't you think
I already hate me
enough?
I'm tired of your critisim
your accusing words
And your hypocritical looks.
I hate it
And I cant say anything back!!!!!
And that's what makes me
mad the most!

How can I write
When there's nothing
How can I see
When all there is,
is pain.
How can I be
A good person
when all I see is bad
How do you justify
an act of kindness
When all anybody sees
is the bad?
They're hypocrites
And liars
They tell you not to judge
When that's all they do
And it may seem so gruel
But that's because anything
And everything you'll
ever see
is just plain cruel.

Scars
They clutter my left arm
Up and down they used to double
triple
Quadruple
they bled
were red
And eventually
scared over.
They did not solve my problems
Just made me stay sane
They made me keep calm
When I wanted to break down
I wanted to yell
I wanted to scream
But all I did was show my feelings
A top my skin
They arnt me anymore
And sometimes I forget that.
I forget that I don't have to push people away
But instead they push me away
Because even though I have changed
my skin remains the same
And that is all they choose to see.

Don't you know
You were my sun
In a dark universe
You were the light
On a cloudy day
You were my sight
When I was blind to see
Why couldn't I see
You were always
the best part of me
and though your away
In my heart you'll always stay
And when I fail to see
I hope the day will come
When you will come back to me.

I remember
A time not so long ago
When I would sit
And write oh so many poems
I would write out my feelings
Write out my thoughts
I would imagine an answer
And talk to my oldest friend.
my oldest friend
whom I care so much about
Is not a person
not real at all
His name is Id.
He knows all my secrets
but I know none of his
He gives me advice
about how to deal
And I can stay safe
knowing he will not tell the world
And he tells me how
how to deal
When I am not sure
How you became mine
And I became yours.

I wonder
In which
The world we live
In all the countries
of all the people
And I some how happen
to have met you
I somehow happen
To have fallen in love with you
I somewhow happen
to have lost you
And with you
Follows half of my heart.
my heart
In all its emptiness
Still misses you.
I wish to be happy
to put on a face and deal
But with out you
my heart only has
so much time to heal

Alone I sit
Alone I wait
Alone I lie
As alone as the sky.

Depressed as I am
depressed as I feel
Depressed as I can
With the memory of you still here

With all my might
And all my strength
With all the tension
I wish I could bring you back

But I am powerless
In this brutal world
Destined for misery
Just as a lonely girl