I don't know what I want anymore
Is that so bad?
To just not know?
What if I want more?
So what if I want love!
******* if you can't handle it!
You said you love me but you don't
You said it to get exactly what you want!

I'm sick of acting slutty
Feeling slutty
So am I a bad person?
Would you love me less if that's just who I was?
I want to be with you
But I want to be with him
Maybe I'm the *****
Maybe I'm the problem
But you didn't have to let her blow you!
You ******* *******!
How does that make me a ****?!
*******!
You don't love me
You don't know the meaning of the word!
I don't know what I want!
I don't know if what I want
Is acceptable to you.
Love is a big deal
Its so much to ask
When all you want is ***
Love doesn't fit in the equation

Time is fleeting... I have never felt so alone. There was a time that I can remember when I was happy. I was different. I was little. I was naive. But ignorence is bliss. There was a time where people wanted to talk to me. A time where I could be me and be happy. No It seems like I'm working hard to please people so they will want me around at all. I will always feel like I need to improve myself. But that's only because I'm insecure. Its because of everything around me...

I wrote you a letter today
To see if you would care
I wrote you a letter today
to see if you could be there.
I waited weeks
I waited months
I waited and waited only to find
A letter in my mailbox that day
That one day late in the year
The water was cold
And the sky was clear
I found the letter
And stamped across it in big letters
It read
Return to sender.
devastated and sad
I returned to my room
I cried and cried till my eyes were dry
For all I could in the world,
I could not hate you
But I tried and tried
But by then you were a part of me
And that I felt you could not see
So I grabbed a knife
And shoved it through my heart
And as my eyes
Rolled back into my head
All I could see
was the stamp that read
Return to sender...
And as I heard my mothers scream
I saw you in the back of my mind
Wondering why you were there...

I'll always be here
For a person that needs me
For anybody that's lonely
For anybody that cant cope
With the way life is
If they have scars
I have some of my own
I will always try to help
Someone who needs to feel wanted

Maybe I worry a lot
But atleast I care
maybe I look out for you
And that's considered weird
and maybe I try to hard
to get you to laugh
But that's just because I love your smile.

Maybe its hard for you
To see what's in your own heart
That's only because you chase the wrong people
And I hate to see you hurt
so I'll tell you everything
I have to say
To make you feel better
To make you feel o.k.

Maybe it would be easier
If you tried to stay away.
away from all those girls
and be with the one who cares
Because those girls don't give a ****
About your heart
while mine beats so hard
when your around...

And maybe it would be easier
if you
fell
for
Me.

I'm all alone
In this big world
With nobody
Why am I alone?
why couldn't I have people?
why does everyone just
want to hate me?
why cant I be loved?
Do I not deserve it?
Am I horrible?
Do I just ruin
The lives of people that I know?
I just don't want to be here!
It would just be better
If I was gone...

How can I sleep
Knowing I lost you?
How can I dream
Knowing it will only be in pain?
How could you leave
when you said you loved me?
How could I let you leave
When I loved you too?
what is wrong with me?
Is it you?
Why is it you
That keeps me up
At night crying my eyes out.
and even through all these tears
And through all this hurt
All I can think
is how much I love you
how much I want you back
How much you hurt me
and all the memories that follow
saying your name
Hearing your name.
Needing to hear it
To keep me alive...
I love you