My body aches My mind hurts
Im bleeding myself empty For somebody who
wouldn't try to stop the bleeding.

I leave everything I write labelled "Untitled"
because how could you give the thing thats crushing you
one single name When you can't figure out what's actually hurting you.

I NEVER WRITE ABOUT YOU BECAUSE I CANT BREATH I CANT SLEEP I CANT DECIDE IF I LOVE YOU OR I HATE YOU OR MAYBE I HATE MYSELF BECAUSE I KEEP LETTING YOU BACK IN MY MIND OH GOD IM A MESS AND MAYBE YOU LIKED IT THAT WAY OR MAYBE YOU JUST LIKE TO WATCH ME BREAK BUT EITHER WAY I WISH YOU WOULD STOP TALKING TO ME AND I WISH I WOULD STOP TRYING TO FIND YOU IN LITTLE THINGS AND I WISH YOU KNEW HOW YOU FEEL AND I WISH YOU DIDNT GRAB ME WHILE YOU WERE HOLDING HER HAND BECAUSE I THINK YOU WERE ALSO HOLDING MY HEART .

I think maybe if I keep writing about you my feelings will go away.
Wrong.
I think maybe if I pretend it never happened it wouldn't hurt so much.
Wrong.

But if we're being honest, I knew this would happen all along.