I've learned that happiness
cannot be found in the form of a little
purple capsule.
I've learned that Pisa will have to wait until next time.
I've learned that the third mushroom
held in my sweaty palm was not as
big a deal compared to the other two opening my mind.
I've learned that a part of me
died that night where we ****** in a
room with no furniture.
I've learned that life is work and that
the molotov cocktail of Dubrah and eay mac
that came spewing from me left an orange tang
upon the floor.
I've learned that pain is better than numbness
and that jabbing a sewing needle repeatedly in my arm
was an educated decision.
Most importantly I've learned that together we are better than alone.

November brought
rain,
snow,
sweaters,
and kisses.

We discovered what our lips could do as we lay huddling together.
Under blankets,
in a house,
in a tree,
we discovered the sensation of
excitement in places we thought to be unexcitable.
Like our lips,
our tongues,
our fingertips
and our eyelashes.

I can't remember how many times we watched Harold and Maude,
I only know that we never got through it.

You told me I kiss like I'm in a hurry.
Like I need to catch a train
but I also need to kiss you,
and nothing on this earth can stop me from doing both.

And you kissed like you knew it was a good thing.
Which must be quite a sensation to have.
Just like those we felt in our lips, tongues, fingertips and eyelashes.

It was your birthday yesterday
You would have turned 19
I would have gone to your party
and we would have been drunk
girls would be kissing you
and you would be king
but we put you in the ground
two and a half years ago
-

A Summer's date,
  an Autumn's dance,
Warm Winter's kiss,
  tis' in Spring; we plant

12 Ways Of Looking At Constancy

I

I look into the sea of starry eyed witnesses
and I see one constant
face, you.

II

I was born of beating lungs,
like the spine of my favorite novel
which remains constant and pure to my every desire.

III

Falling, falling, falling.
looking up at the constancy that is the sun and the moon and the sky.

IV

4+4= a number
a number= 5,677
my numbers remain constant
and jumbled and forever confused.

V

I don’t understand why or who or where,
the nature of two and two together
the nature of knowing
the nature of my record player radiating Bob Dylan
the nature of remaining constant.

VI

In the spring I wear my rain boots,
with the socks pulled up to my knee.
In the summer I wear my hiking books
with the dirt and the blood and the sweat on my knees.
In the winter I wear fuzzy boots that keep my toes and
calfs and brain constantly warm. In the fall I get confused.
I sit and think and the weather doesn't remain constant.
I can wear whatever boots I want. I don’t like that.


VII

Oh you stupid people!
Why must you eat apple shaped hearts
and slur your words?
Do you not understand the necessity of constancy that
runs through your veins every second of every day?

VIII

I do not know what runs through your veins.
I know, I know of high strung men.
I know the sound of the pitter patter rain drops on my roof.
But of everything I know, I know it will all remain
constant.
Whilst I held my palms together to see the white marks appear,
I saw it.
one of a thousand constant shadows.

IX

Seven black shadows.
That is all it took
to see what really mattered right now.
Especially when the man of men
stood before me and told me to remain constant.

X

She picked up her glass slipper
She woke up from a single kiss
She fell in love with the monstrous looking man
She bit deeply into the apple
they constantly make me wish for more.
As if everything was truly this way.

XI

We fell in love.
You were constantly mine for a short period of time.

XII

It was night time all morning,
I wore my rain boots and I played in the sun
It was sunny all day
constantly sunny.
My willow tree provided the slightest bit of shade.