He's the person I've loved in a way that I haven't loved anyone else, he's the person I call when I'm about to cry, he's the person I call when I'm happy. He knows me more than I know myself and I've memorized every single detail about him. I'm too attached. Way too attached to let go now but it's a matter of trust and loyalty. No matter what I end up thinking about him, nothing's ever too distracting enough to make me stop thinking about him. I'm lost and confused and doubting the idea of us still being together. He completes but somehow there's something missing. Love's a ****** up feeling and I'd rather be numb right now than feel everything at once. I want to open up to my friends without sounding like a weak and helpless person and my friends tell me things I don't want to hear. I used to say I was strong enough and I know my worth but **** when it comes to love everyone's weak and helpless. and one thing's for sure there are no happy endings in this messed up world.

They say the people you meet are either a blessing or a lesson and baby you're a blessing, my favorite blessing and I never want you to leave because you bring good to my life. You're too good for me that it makes me wonder what did I ever do to deserve you in my life. You're one in a million and I'm the lucky one who found you. I may be too attached to you and you may effect me like crazy and it scares me sometimes but I don't mind because in the end you made me a better person, you make me want to aim for the best in my life and you make me the happiest. Baby, you are and you will always be the best thing that's ever happened to me and I hope you keep happening because I need you in my life and I don't even want to imagine my life without you.

You can say you forgot about it as much as you want to. You can pretend like you don't care for as long as you want to. But scrolling through your gallery you find a picture you forgot to delete, here you're reminded again. A week later you open up your drawer and find a letter, you read it regardless the amount of times you've read it and maybe you've memorized what's written on it. You are looking through your Instagram, you see their username and you can't help but open up the profile to see what's been going on. Because how many times you say you forgot or you don't care anymore. Your actions prove otherwise and it's okay. Because it's normal to still care. You once cared so much for so long how could you stop all of a sudden? Especially with reminders everywhere you go.

She's the girl that was spoiled and loved by her parents but when it came to needing someone to talk or a should to cry on they were never there.
Neither were her siblings or her so called friends.
So she's the girl that would cry alone in her bed hugging her teddy bear. She's the girl with a kind heart that was always being taken advantage of.
She never understood how people could have so much darkness in them.
She believed in being loyal to people.
She's the girl that kept drowning for people who wouldn't get in the **** water for her.

You think from what she's witnessed she'd be afraid to fall inlove
or that she might hesitate to give someone her all
but she's the type of girl that would give until she has nothing left
that's another one of her bad habits that she wants to quit but it's too late
she's too inlove, too attached & she believes in destiny
she believes that if someone wanders away and comes back to them then its meant to be
she believes in soulmates
and she believed that she found hers.

She was the girl with a kind heart that was always being taken advantage of.
She believed in being loyal to people.
She was the girl that kept drowning for people who wouldn't get in the water for her.

She never understood how people could have so much darkness in them.
She’d break on the inside everytime she would get hurt but wouldn’t show it.
Until one day she realized that not everyone has the same heart as her.

She woke up one day and thought to herself that she wouldn’t allow anything to break her again because she’s stronger now.
She used to be easily shaken by words like the wind shakes branches but her roots are now deeply set in the ground and nothing can shake her.

She used to be a star and now she is slowly becoming fire proof.
She used to wear her heart on her sleeve and now she puts her mind over those feels.
She was glass and now she’s concrete.

She found it strange how you can go from telling someone every detail about your day and you even memorize each others daily routines, each others favorite songs. You memorize their scent, you start to slowly use the same vocabulary. You might even recognize their voice between many other people's voices. Sometimes you know a person too well to the point where you can know what they're going to say before they do. From going through all of that to not saying one word. You could've known all of that and memorized every detail about them. But life hits you by surprise and you find out despite everything you thought you knew, you really didn't know the person. You've been fooled. This person you thought you knew the most wasn't the one you had in mind. This wasn't the person you loved, this person wasn't different like everyone else. This wasn't the person who you thought was faithful and loyal. This wasn't the person you figured you'd last with. This wasn't the person that you thought was amazing and showed off to all your friends. This was a person who had lied to you, made a fool out of you, broke you and never even apoligized for it. So, yes she found it strange how you go from seeing a person as your soulmate to a cold hearted stranger.

I'm tired of being too nice that people walk all over me
I'm tired of trying to hold grudges then I end up forgiving
I'm tired of being the one that saves everyone and at the end of the night no one bothers to ask if I'm okay
I'm tired of giving everyone my all and in the end no one deserves half of the attention I give them

i'm feeling too numb. i miss the adrenaline rush, i miss the laughter, i miss the feeling of automatically smiling to anything that's related to you. but i don't miss you. i'm just reminiscing and thinking that what if i never feel that again? what if i never find anyone to share those moments with? what if i'm just one of those people who's not meant for anyone else? am i overreacting? will the loneliness and over-thinking eat me up? i'm feeling numb inside and the despair is starting to show in my face. i don't have the energy to fake emotions, or meet anyone new. i'm afraid. i'm numb. i'm lost. i'm in need of happiness. i need to be go back to the way i was. it was temporary happiness but i'd wish to have it all over again. one of the best days of my life were with you and i don't know if i should thank you for them or hate you for not being the person i thought you were.

Why do you give people your all and watch them slowly leave you with nothing?* he asked.
Because i've been told that you give and you get but i don't believe that's the case anymore she replied.

She's misguided and she trusts easily
someone needs to make her feel worthy of herself
and remind her that she's beautiful too
someone has to make the despaired look on her face fade
bring back the warmth of her smile and make her eyes sparkle again
but at the same time someone needs to tell her that *the only person who can do that is her, she has to learn to lift herself up and believe that not everyone is the same

3 months ago she would cry herself to sleep, her heart would ache at the thought of you and how you made her feel like she was nothing. But now its 6 months later, you see her coincidentally again. She's in a really good place in her life right now and her smile reaches her eyes. You forgot how much you loved her smile. But now she's not the same weak person you knew, she's stronger than ever and she doesn't love you anymore. And this time you're the one with the heartache because you finally realize, you lost her.