i can't seem to find any words that could ever possibly describe you that don't follow with the phrase 'i'm sorry please come back' and i think my biggest mistake was believing that you would. as if some tiny part of you was still holding that light that had shone in my eyes every time you had smiled at me. as if you still slept with your hand open because you think there's a slight chance that my hand will come and fill it. the truth is i was so afraid to be hurt that i shut myself away from everything and cut all bonds that laid between us. it is now 3 in the morning and i have not slept for days. all i see in the darkness of my room is your smile, and the way it faded after every day, and how i would blame everyone but myself for that.