We're all stars
each and every one of us
some light up the world
like the sun
others light up darkened corners
like a trash barrel fire
and others are never seen
light years away
we only see the memories
after death flashes
of quaking brilliance

You are a city
during Christmas time
full of life and light
love like a blanket of snow
You are a city
in the Spring time
when the sun rises
over the river
painting the skyline with embers
You are a city
when the leaves change
and even after the birds fly south
the sound of you singing
makes us forget them
You are a city
on a Summer night
sitting on the back porch
watching the fireflies
as they mimic the stars
You are a city in which buildings
only grow taller
You are a city
which I would like to call home

Hey what's up
what are you doing tonight?
that's cool who with?
Are you with any guys tonight?
sounds like a fun time
don't tell me these things
I can't wait until you're back
I need to see you
Yeah it's going to be fun
I've been thinking about you
I'll see you then, I guess
*I'm hoping you feel the same

When his day comes
he will walk out
his head held high
he aint no saint
but he accepts that
he is what he is
and he was always told
to never apologize
for being himself
But still
he's no stranger to shame
or sinning
but he will be judged
with a smile on his face
because he knows the secret
because he lived his own life
and would never be sorry
for that

ever since he was born
it was hot on his heels
pheromones lining cosmic nostrils
the sick smell of fear
he keeps on running
because he isn't getting more
and ever since he was born
the candle has been burning
and the wax drips onto the bottle
sealing him in a sea of suffocation
and restless frenetic vibrations
time always just one step behind
and leaps and bounds ahead

no matter how liberal we think we are
how open minded and free spirited
we can only tolerate change to a certain point
because change is the calm before the unknown
or rather the chaos before the storm
you get the picture, anyway,
and we become so attached to our lives
and our friends
and our families
But people are not statues
they change like the landscape around us
they drift away
lose faith
or find a well of strength
that wasn't there before
They change like our lives
and it will always be inevitable
and yeah maybe change can bring ****** times
simply tests that we have to take
but maybe it will bring adventure
friendships
wisdom
knowledge
purpose
or love
and either way,
we have to take it as it comes
and be willing to let go
of whats already gone

this life
has taken me places
sweet
and bitter
beautiful
and ugly
and best of all
beautifully ugly
I never expected to be where I am
and sometimes it can be a real
*****.
But that being said
I write poems every day
and ******* is that cool
and maybe they aren't good
but I couldn't care less
because they are mine
and I think I'd like to see
just where they take me
yeah it hasn't always been smooth
and I know I still have
a lot of rough patches
further on down the road
but it is surely going to be
one hell of a ride

I know that the ego is dangerous
everybody sends out warnings for me to **** it
but **** it man, I love that side of me
the side that needs validation from drunk strangers
who take me to their home in the early hours of whatever day it is
or the laughter from a good joke at work
likes and views and comments on these poems
yeah ego is dangerous
but I'll be ****** if it isn't fun

The sun shines through my bedroom window, catching all the dust
According to my weather app -
the real feel is hotter than the temperature -
beautiful
Wake up coffee work smoke repeat
what’s the problem?
I find the time to laugh
and to write poetry
and I’m not dead yet
and it will be spring soon

I almost ran over a rolling hub cap the other day
the other driver didn’t even notice
and yeah I got high last night
and spent all of my money on pizza
so sue me,
I pay my bills on time
working for dollars getting paid in change
but I’m not dead yet
and the children are getting out of school soon

Yeah yeah - the good buzz did turn into a whole handle
I blacked out and fell in the snow
tried to sleep in the doorway of the musical equipment store
and my friends did have to drag me home
we laugh about it now
sitting in my dark living room
looking at a dead TV
dripping wet
I’m not dead yet
and it’s all going to be fine

As much as I want to write,
It seems as if
I will always be better at
Getting drunk
Throwing up,
And ******* up

I'm just starting out
there is so much which I haven't seen
or done
so much life I haven't tasted
and more that I never will
but it's good
for the first time
I have the reins
and I removed them
and my horse became wild
bucking me off
but I clutch
arms around its thick neck
and soon it forgets about me
It takes me to strange places
unseen by a civilized eye
beautiful temples
which steal the breath
from within your lungs
emerald forests which go on for miles
canyons carved out
by ancient warriors of old
abandoned alien metropolises
and the image of God
the universe is gigantic
but it's only getting bigger
I may just be starting out
but I am so excited
for what's to come

he breathes pollution
exhalations of corporate
caustic black smoke
nerves tight like drums
they pound out a call to war
a war which doesn't exist
so he wages war
against himself
and everyone else
he stuck two bolts in his neck
on top of his roof
devil forks of lightning
with arms like pistons
he punches holes in a million forgotten rooms
legs like a combustion engine
his gait shatters sidewalks
with an eye full of killing
and a constant squint
he extinguishes the sun
and laughs
a maniac in the dark

but he has a past
there aren't good people
or bad people
just people
with good or bad
stories
because we created him
this walking atom bomb
set to self destruct
because one day
many years ago
he was a child
who couldn't get to sleep
on Christmas eve
just like you
just like me

The world had just rolled out of bed
remember the time I woke your mother up
with my sentimental talk and Kamel 100’s?
I do. I remember. Things like love and happiness
passion, *****, ****, and blood
the sounds the walls made against the bustling of life
we were inebriated on the endless possibilities
we didn’t want to see the trap looming above
until it was already upon us
Isn’t it silly to think of that now?
Drunk breakfast at three AM
coffee which kept us up longer than fragile moon beams
rinse and repeat
green paper envelopes
a citation for living without fear
we could’ve made the world stop in its tracks
if only we hadn’t ****** it all up
so badly

They say things like:
Who,
What,
Where,
Why,
How,
how they say these words
you just know they don't mean
anything by it
-Howya doin'?
-good.
-just good? not great?
-great is a big word
-beautiful.

I hope that I can be
an oaken door
standing wide open
the wind rushing inside
causes the shutters to clap
against the brick walling
and sometime people will leave
and their absence is cold
but maybe someone else
will come in
bringing even more
than the previous resident
and my curtains will be open
so that I may see all outside of me
and so they might
see all that is inside of me
all I can ever hope to be
is open

You don't really know addiction
until you have scrounged
down the back of all of your sofas
only to find one dollar
You don't really know addiction
until you have stolen from your younger brother
you don't really know addiction
until you have stolen from your own mother
you don't really know addiction
until there's nothing left to lose

Turn the shame
Into art
They love nothing more
Than a broken heart

don't let people tell you
what you can and can't do
don't let people steer you
or tell you it's not possible,
don't let people buy you
define you
hide you
or anything else
because a lot of people forget
we're all born champions
and that's something
that nobody can take away
just hide and blur and cover
and don't ever forget
that you're a ******* animal
and the people,
and the things,
standing in your way
can pile so high
that you get scared sometimes,
but don't let it stop you,
don't even let yourself stop you
time to move those mountains kid

don't cry
don't waste those tears
you say you are so ******* ugly
that you wish you
were somebody else
well welcome to the club
but don't waste those tears
on those people
this world
it goes down smooth
like a razor blade
if you need to cry
i will give you my tears
I will take all of your ugly
and show you something
so **** beautiful
I will give you my eyes
so that when you look in the mirror
you can see
what I see
everyday

In times of great strife
times when people turn to God
for solace and answers
what are the Godless to do?
It's hard to rationalize evil
when you know it might go unpunished
it makes you question
what's the point of trying to be good
but I think the point is
to live in a way
so that others might see
divine hope through your actions

Shotgun **** its
Shut up and listen
If you can't take the heat
You know how it goes
I have to go to work today
And I haven't been home yet
So that *****
I guess
Above all else
What I want
Is to just
Get the hell out of here
Away from everything

things change
like the passing of the seasons
don't take this fro granted
change is scary
yet at the same time
change is right
change is good
change is cleansing
people change,
inevitably,
any attempts to change the change
are futile,
it's all a matter of perspective
so don't ever think of it as a goodbye
goodbyes are poisonous things
rather,
think of it as
another chance to say
hello

where are you?
it's three a.m.
so probably sleeping
but no sleep for me
the possibilities
playing across my eyelids
like old home videos
where are you tonight
when I really need you?
you don't know it
but I am yours
if you'd take me
I count the days
until you come back home
and in my dreams
you tell me that
you won't ever leave
again

Where are you?
and why isn't
that where
this where
because I have to level with you
I could really use the company
I could really get lost in your eyes
like you get lost in music
like I just plain get lost
when you aren't here
there are no more lullabies
no more dreams
trapped awake
way too wide
if it were anybody else
I'd have lost faith
but I can't lose faith in you
even if I wanted to
I don't always tell you
but I've been betting on you
since day one
and I'm not rich from it
but I wouldn't have it
any other way

where are you?
come put me back together
I had a great fall
and I don't think I've stopped yet
but I'm tired
and I'm hungry
so I am going
to try catch a few
and if I'm lucky
you'll be here
this where
when I wake up
smiling like you never left

Filtered cigarettes
Drawing smoke fibers
If I can't be free
I sure as hell can be numb
Free from dreams of freedom
Free from life
Free from you
Free from me
Doesn't everybody just want to be so ******* free?
Life is a movie
And I'm an off screen extra
Silently wandering
Corridors of thought
Looking for answers
In the wrong textbooks
Aren't I so free

We lost our ball of yarn at birth
the bread crumbs are all gone
we were tossed into the raging sea
black, thick, and malevolent
and all too self aware
the waves thrashed us again and again
blasts of lightning stab the horizon
the fury of the Gods
as riptides pull us in all directions
we beat our arms
and receive no guidance
some of us drown
our lungs filling with a cold void
some of us get caught in large nets
we are dragged on board squinting and mad
we are mistaken for fish
because we gasp for air
the rest of us wash up
on trash islands
and rocky crags
ruins of civilization
crumble around us
the earth bone dry
we wash up and form colonies
or are accepted
by the local cannibals
we are driven mad
by the knowledge
that one day we must return
to the welcoming clutches of the sea
we paint scenes depicting the glory
and struggles of the legendary human
with hopes that one will catch a draft of hot air
and will carry us off into the clouds
but until then
we wander a dead globe

Look at you
you poor little thing
you sit there in your tears
mascara pools solidifying around your shoes
how much I want to save that moment forever
that moment where you needed somebody so badly
who could maybe be me
and I go to tell you I love you
but bite my tongue
because in reality
I don't ever want you not in that moment
I don't ever want you happy or regulated or normal
in that moment I realize that this isn't what love is
this is greed
so I pass you by
leave you weeping on that curb
leave you to get better

to make it to heaven
you have to wade through hell
the pearly gates are hidden inside the gaping maw of a black sea monster
and with just you
your two hands
two feet
left brain
right brain
you have to walk through the fire
feel the parts of you which are not essential burn away
and by the time you're through hell
you realize that heaven isn't a place
it's person you saw in the mirror all of those years ago
that the lives we live imprisoned on the other side of the glass

it's cold this morning
footsteps chasing breath
they call it a walk of shame
nobody gets why I smile
walk of shame
I prefer walk of game
proof that somebody will have me
amazed at the image
of my bed
empty in the early hours of morning
and me
somehow in someone else's bed
someone who may have been drunk
but so was I
and ******* it
she thought I was good enough
and that made her beautiful
at least to me
and for a couple of hours that night
we shared ourselves
with open trust
content to hand this other
the key to our bird cages
and they call it a walk of shame

It's funny but
for all of the times I talk about you
and get all romantic and what not
now that you are here
five minutes away
and I haven't even seen you yet
I don't know what I'm waiting for
maybe it's that perfect movie moment
where we see each other from afar
and run lovingly into each others' arms
or maybe
we were just meant to be
a perfect nothing

When the bottle's empty
times are at their hardest
the weight of world brings me down
with every step I take
when the bottle's empty
is when you most need it
Like a good friend
moving across the country
you remember all of the good times
the long shared laughter
the caught tears
when the bottle is gone
and the world once again starts creeping in
it's best to go pick up a six pack
at the twenty four hour gas station

Hey
When you feel down
Just remember
You aren't dead yet
So you just do your job
And keep on ******* living

Girls girls everywhere
But not a one to thank

we are young
and we maybe don't
fully know what
we are doing
or what we even are
But none of that matters
because If I know one thing
It's that I have always enjoyed
the time spent together
even if we went 2 hours without talking
I would never give those 2 hours back
I just want to say that I like you
and you don't have to like me back
Lord knows it's hard
but even if you hate me
or if I just didn't mean anything
I will be fine knowing
that I will always have
That one shared moment

I saw perfection once
out of the corner of my eye
it was so bright
that I could only look
for just a moment
but in that moment
I saw something
which made me question
if God might in fact
be shaping our lives
It was over before it started
and we all felt confused
and sedated
at ease with the world
as if we were ******
But I knew
that the perfect moment
would have been just another moment
if we weren't there
with the corner of our eyes
trapped in a moment

There's an old man
sitting across from me
drinking a small coffee
with his bags of groceries
he sings gently to himself
the songs of his youth
he doesn't get the world today
but he tries hard to
He talks to the strangers
as if they are old friends
or grand children
but nobody has time
not for a lonely old man
who just wants to talk
so he goes on singing
the songs that remind him
of a simpler time
of his youth
when the world was his
before it all became
so **** confusing

When the words won't come
I always have you
to refill my well
when the ink runs dry
I need only
dip my pen in your blood
when the paper is dead
the thought of your laughter
breaths new life
when hope is lost
you give me courage
you make me
a better me

He's the type of guy
who does it until he is gone
everything he does
he throws himself in
the type of guy
who spends his mornings in coffee houses
and his nights at the bar
he smokes cigarettes
almost two packs a day
he's suicidal
he just doesn't like to rush things
he feels the pressure
always on top of him
and he is an expert of running
even though he knows
it will never work
but he's restless
so he'll keep waking himself with drink
and putting himself to sleep with it
until he has made his mark
or until he is gone

Say something
Say anything
Please
For the love of God
don't be silent
there's too much already
put the phone down
better yet toss it
as far as you can
step away from the computer
and don't stop until
you meet somebody
who draws the words out of you
and you them

would you
hold my hand
on a day
when I truly need all of you?
would you forget
all of my stupidity
and the senseless ****
which falls from my mouth?

would you kiss me
when I feel bad?
when all of the world
seems to weigh down on me
and it all get's to be
too much
I just want you
and only you
would you make me feel
immortal?

would you wake me up
when I sleep in too late
and forget the world?
but don't forget
I will always need you
deep in my heart
would you tell me
everything I want to hear?