on the hook
dropped the book
a series of blank slates
with the memories of tomorrow's yesterday erased
running in place
always away from the sins of self
dusty bottles sit on the shelf
lungs too tired to ask for help
waiting
stating
obvious choices
made out in torn voices
circle the drain
until you can make your pain
the name of the game

I met Jack and James in the 9th grade
a Tennessee farm boy and an Irish *******
they were wild
they didn't listen to parents
or teachers
or me
they knew how to destroy and dismantle
and from the rubble they made their nests
they showed me good times
backed me up in bad
even introduced me to girls
like Mary,
in her sweatpants and poncho
no make up
talking about the universe
we first kissed the summer before 10th grade
everything was so ******* rosy
Me, Jack, James, and Mary versus the world
we were going to do big things
and ***** anybody who said no
we weren't the type to take any ****
but years went by
them sleeping on my floor
my couch
my bed
using my bathroom
my money
Jack and James started the fights
I got the bruises
While Mary sits on the couch
eating potato chips
and talking about her next great idea to change the world
I got the bills
I told them,
enough is enough
but that is never the case
now I sleep in a grave
they were kind enough to dig
with friends like these,
who has time for enemies?

She said she wanted an adventure
trekking through the Mexican desert with six shooters
the Lone Ranger and her Kemo Sabe
she wanted to pack her bags
hit the road without a second glance to spare
take the Greyhound bus
or maybe her dad's Jetta
and open it up across endless highways
until the tires are stripped bare
and the exhaust smokes
she wanted to be a stranger
in a strange town
with a cardboard sign reading
    Anywhere but here
mostly she just wanted to escape
the chill of all the old ghosts which haunted her

You were standing there
so suddenly in front of me
in the dark, sweaty basement
where strobe lights broke through the fog like lightning
and digitally enhanced thunderclaps shook the support pillars
It was a surprise
you were alone
as was I
and in the midst of people seeking shelter in each other's bodies
it was only natural
I was the match
you the gasoline
lost track of time
then again, I was drunk
but I think you were too
But then we were outside in the cold
your arms wrapped around your frame
my arm draped easily over your shoulder
walking back to wherever it was we were going
we shed our jackets and made pillows
on our backs
shoulder to shoulder
I turned my head to the left and said,
"Nice to meet you"

the pile of books on my windowsill sits gathering dust
the pencils are swords instead of daggers
all the pen nibs are dry
the embers slowly starving
the smiles succumbing to gravity
and the grit's nothing but dust
if time is money
then we're in debt

The wind blows through the trees
knocking blood, gold, and rust
to the concrete pavement
forest floors beneath a blanket of pine needles
to the side of highways across the country
no matter what
the wind still blows through the leaves in the fall

The sun hasn't risen yet
the black hatchback opens up on the Lee Bridge
in the rear view mirror the city shrinks minuscule
as I forge forward at a steady pace of fifty
No matter where My destination is
the reason is always the same
escape
like a thief in the night
trying to put some distance between me, myself, and I
daydreaming ceaselessly as traffic flows on every side
the front tire has a slow puncture
the door panel barely hanging on
in much need of an oil change
driving alone below the aspersions cast by unwanted eyes
as the rain slowly comes down to blind and cleanse
I never got to say half of the things I wanted
and I know that I won't write half of the words inside me
so I'm impatient
laying on the horn
and flipping old ladies on their way to church the bird
faces not seen enough to be memorized
hands not felt
laughter never shared
these things haunt me
holding their flickering candles to the bottom of my feet
Driven now
the sun hasn't come up yet
which is good
because before it does
I have some things that I need to do