18 years.
Millions of tears.
Becoming a caricature of yourself.
Little boy blue, hiding inside a hollow tree
.It's because i care and the way i wave.
Personal taste and cut up the gender.
You were always more than tender.

Stand to attention,
stand up sit down take orders,
wishful thinking and another ideal for living sinking on the horizon nothing to prove once was a thing of beauty afraid to touch and hold the measure of pleasure and forgotten treasure that moments fragile handsome fertile prisoner in a prison that prism that constant haunted mirage that darkness betrays a second thirsty to set the wave of another heart broken that echo of another goodbye.

Hello Mum,
Hello Dad,
been a while since I said Hello.
Hello, how are you in that cold, cold frozen ground, lonely as an eyesore, where you hear no sound.
Me I am fine taking it day by day,
one thing I ken for sure,
I wish you had been with me on Saturday.

The novelty of life riddles
like a well worn wild west heroes
crimson moon,
desert saddle that cries too long
and wears its time too
for all to see on the prairie,
as far as the eye can see,
you sing to the moon's sad lament
and cry into your beans night after night.

Yes, the catalyst.
I turned out to be a caricature of behan,
a small starter, echo
to a happy ever after,
a new beginning,
in the middle of a statuesque
comedy panic that waits on the
drive in saturday,
falls and follows and added on
potential to the carnage that
heartbreak hotel,
high five,
backpatting, handshakes in
quicksand they slow dance your thoughts
then swallow your resistance to a cupid mind numb
florescent kiss
eh another kiss to remember.
hindsight blind to madness, get into insight,
to real the reel for reel nonstop blindness.

The forgotten man, lost and lonely,
a ghost to himself, a joke,
a **** poor caricature,
riddled with guilt and regret,
no more here or now, just a waste of time,
to walk on tears, that haunt hymn by gone years.

Wake up and use me, with your rapier wit,
that cynical whirlpool of jobbies,
your ****** heid of *****,
the way you address an audience is so funny
and the way you dress, comedy, loose and snooky,
you make me puke, puke, pukey.
******* my fragile mannequin,
oh you have bad breath.

When you walk into the room,
fireworks before me, a ship sinking and yet,
i forget my minds sails to another parallel that swims to deep,
tutut, juju, and warm to light and heartbeat torture of another day
that pendulum monkey on my back dances to that haunted dancefloor
that begs to be conquered from thankful bells that toils to answer,
our disguise and wonder, my sweet our touch is a beauty of a crash course,
for the ravers as you much on quaver after quaver, what about the midnight hour
that gets to be a sweet requiem of us, justice to us that never follow their favourite game.
Goodnight.

My heart a maze,
you haunt around,
your love is a filigree that makes no sound.
Until you came along,
I was lost and alone,
just me and my heart shaped box,
singing to 4 walls.

Crucified and left to dwell,
if you had to do it all again, would you?
Hindsight.
a sign that hangs on the gates of hell,
when you see the fires and half measure desires,
how does the pain feel as you cry your,
no surrender,
this place takes you further than pain ,
than torture that burns your heart and your anguish tame no two lifes the same,
a picture postcard of a misspent youth,
both ends burning in a midnight vocation,
burn baby burn,
no return to the familar choir,
as you sink into the fire,
oh i would carry my own cross again and again to feel the warmth of my mother and kiss those cherry holy lips and change the water into wine if i could hold back time and hear st peters bell chime, and hold the chalice and swear to my fathers, father as the flames grow higher, just to hold you one last time my Mary is my hearts desire.

You never think of me.
I drown in a well of misery.
You never wanted me.
I haunted that bell you ring to my despair my sadness sings,
two tongues tied and our hunger died,
or our well dried to totem touch or hunger drips to tip toe soul,
hungry passion a maze of hunger that burns the fire of our love.

i was in the mood for dancing, but i cannae dance,
17 and have rubber legs and concrete feet,
you 18 and dance a minstrel, jester treat.
we looked and got hooked on the sweet retreat
and home made sushi,
i danced anyway.
and stroked your hand, you told me a carefree whisper
and blew a raspberry, you are really tall and your
favourite pastime is sipping latte and reading,
do you like the ocean, the sea, the waves that wave at me
while cold air takes me anywhere but there and the fear
of feeling alone here, my dancing boy, annoy and freefall
into my arms.

Through the mist and dancing heather,
my long lost love walks to me for no man has tasted beauty like I,
I miss those dancing smiling eyes, your hands on mines,
only we danced to time, the happiness that made us chase loves fragile denial,
we were young and foolish, the only fun in town, was the sweet, sweet caress,
that blessed an idea to the meaning, I knew love, and I didn't know love.
and again I surrender, the pain as we play, act out life's torment and futile game,
an end to a means, the repetitive temptation of our teens, nowhere to go,
no one can see, the wave and the sea of our play for today, the whirlpool of a sinking
sweet retreat.

Your smile,
touch,
smell,
and kiss i miss,
the way our eyes locked in tandem
and our touch portrayed a love not afraid
to dance free as birds and the way we would
play day after day, a laughter so gay that held
our love, our love, our love pay.

i surrender to you
and tender like the night that whispers,
sweet dreams and kisses,
that set the fires alight,
that burn deep inside
to hold you is an honour
that keeps my soul afloat.

Just be careful on that punch drunk whirlpool that dances on that silent whistle caresses the fear you keep near most of the things you do and say i have already done a hundred times and a standing order that watching ponder the last throw of the heart that silloute beating threat that hangs in motion on a trance candid shallow grave like false tongue tied and novice to scared to touch that talks.

Handclaps, trapped, you are another clapped out hasbeen fading on the subtle regret of a haunted dancefloor,that echoes to a trapdoor of your reflection ,deep on a stained echo of  a fatigued stand up romance  fall at the feet of saints part time actors on shadows of downbeat sadness ,that chance meeting fall out from insight to quicksand that pours on a sinking fragrence of pitiful sadness and tide tiredness of desert slipstream and fragile happiness to upturned madness ,undressed to a ****** round of applause that maps teach us to follow to a statue frozen and silent .

miss you.
more than a bird misses its warm cosy nest,
miss you more than the sky misses the clouds,
miss you more than a monkey misses a banana,
miss you more than a fish misses the ocean.

Free to be, is a pleasure.
When you breathe the treasure of your heart
and realise it's daft Mr Springsteen to be dancing in the dark.

Would I change a ******* thing,
yes I ******* would.
Can we start again,
eh, no chance.
You had the last dance
at the last chance saloon,
you broke my heart and hurt me so,
my soul was a million pices,
my mind was gone,
the hurt still goes on and on,
over you my first love.
You are at the bottom of my well of regrets,
these you will never kiss again,
and these eyes will never look at you again,
my last love, my lost baby,
baby blue, goodbye.
To those drunken happy crimson nights,
those hugs and cuddles, sweet whispers in chimp ears,
your touch a pleasure never beaten,
your tickle warm breath against my beating heart,
the tender trap that pulled me to your inviting chest,
the way you smile when I nibble on your engaging neck
and the way you bite my first love my last love, goodbye.

A caress so slow that it collides
and slides into a heartbeat,
so sweet,
no retreat or love that free falls to attention,
that kiss, that look,
a whisper that sets alight the fires burn
as we turn ready to attack
passion that explodes into body to body
and hearts beat as one,
the look of love my sweet, my sweet.

Still like a waters edge.
A sense of no sense and nonsense.
Puddle drunk, a nun to nothing and cross dressing monk.
You cannae hide, seek the tongues that speak.
A riddle of the weak, a bridge that saves both sides from falling away to a mountains edge,
the tiller, distiller lookalike Windy Miller,
converse, adverse no rhyme or reason to build a better will.

i was born with nothing
and i'll leave with nothing,
but baby i'll leave you my heart.

Backwater,
*******,
ex show jumper,
bit of a show off,
part time pole vaulter and extreme skier,
also a good dancer,
haunted by libraries.
You smell the party vibe almost too late
to kick the can that pass the swallow of kisses
not meant, a ballroom behind the meaning,
shut up or fall down,
are you dreaming or shang-a-lang meaing,
misdemeanor a pantomime curse,
that smiles and curses your evening,
hello there is a light that doesn't go out now,
now.

Backwater, *******,
ex show jumper, a bit of a show off,
part time pole vaulter and extreme skier,
also a good dancer haunted by libraries.
You smell the party vibe almost too late to kick the can,
that pass the swallow of kisses not meant a ballroom behind the meaning,
shut up or fall down are you dreaming,
or shang-a-lang meaning,
misdemeanor a pantomime curse that smiles and curses your evening,
hello, there is a light that doesn't go out now, now.

The P inside lifts to shallow pools of thirst and moving pictures.
P is purpose, personality car crashes to park the private Idaho.
A sign of the cross, will not stop P.
Prove it to the pin drop puncture of ****** on heat,
insecure to many tongues dripped in keroscene pantomine.
P is pretty. P is pop. P is pandamonium. P is plucky. P is pink.
Patter, panky, pips, puddle, paraquet, puncuation.
Property is theft Parker, pity, purity, punt, plunder, *****.
Past, paint, pander, pringle, puppy, pesky, pest,
petrol, patrol, pamper, pastel, plunder, pongo, plip plop.
P.................

Promise me, promises that remain in light.
A promise still warm, then frozen to be told,
you were unfaithful, and I salute the tremble,
your look that burned me,
held me torn between the riddle,
twisted surrender crawls cruel through my hearts tail,
to be again by your side, is a longing that yet betrays,
the betrayal that possessed me and undressed my love.

Listen......The here and now, the wind speaks and shreiks in it's haunting lullaby,do you never wonder why , the sand and shells ask for mercy as the sea waves to the sky.I do not forget that moonlight ,that shines for us to regret that torquoise reminder of hidden footstep that crept to the stars and cry mercy for repeat and the lost sweet belief of grief.

Silence waving,afraid to  shake and past reminders shiver at the edge of a heartbeat and  a sunken teardrop in the maze of your mind,forgive and forget the only mistake, for  one day you will shine with time and laugh at mime that flies in circles on cold lips that wait in hope of lips like sugar.

The wind cries, and the clouds sighs to whether the rains wave to the skies,
as the moon waits patiently our love cascades, no longer hidden but shining brightly
like the stars way up in the heavens and my love dances to your eyes.
which shine and sparkle like the moonlight, alive a heartbeat waits on lips,
that kiss a sweet retreat, my everlasting love,
so sweet, so sweet.

Into your arms and hand in hand,
oh your love and fear was still life and calling through thirst and madness that played with sadness threw second hand cupid arrows blind though a state of vain vanity, a ride to torture.

your last feeling sweet and sour,
stealing the hour by that sneaky little ******,
safe in a wolves madness,
a clown to the left,
a fast food worker to the right,
an anecdote to laughter,
insane but sand to the happy ever after
and burned by unfaithfulness that portrays an actor,
hi ** to the world that you sometimes lose yourself
and a warm know it all grin, butter, bitter you know so little,
a handshake brittle and damp to the paradox ***** of a beauty
confused and uptight.

Sing to the corduroy boy. He dances to joy and his toy a Jack Daniels on the rocks enjoy my corduroy boy.Afraid of self purpose and essence rings splendour ,damage goods in unlimited supply.Ping pong silence to vain seance and silence crawls through the void.A distant reminder of habit sings to the corduroy boy.Handsome and Head over heel on  return to burn and sins frozen touch to a fragile altar,laugh ,cry my corduroy boy there seems nowhere to hide from the pretty last request of beating hearts under arrest and abandoned.

The forgotten man, lost and lonely.
A ghost to himself, a joke.
A **** poor caricature.
Riddle with regret, no more here or now,
just a waste of time to walk on tears,
that haunt hymn by gone years.

Slow motion frozen and smiling attention ,fragile to the bitter end of a teardrop sentry .I admit to my faults and defeats in love.A ****** stranger looks my way ,one minute later led away to eyes of deceit that shelter my half filled measure of pleasure ,lost to a lifetime of treasure lost at sea,my sails abandoned and ship sunk so many times ,to the  never ending self pity that sinks in hostile waters.The last wave is standing nearby calling me,winking goodbye.

The minute you walk with, is an hour to me,
its sweet and sour taste, kicks nostalgia
into a freefall, and makes a sand dune mine manure
naturals not in tune with pastels or truth more real life.
Dondastan clearwater renewal, love is the drug and
the slow dance, tranquil too pure, ok, ok, I see the snow.
So pure but my gun isn't loaded, gave up the victor manure.
Back to nature on a roundabout of pain, like the last follower
of their favourite game, no one standing at the last chance saloon,
one day we'll dance by the light of the moon,
the moon, the moon, the moon.

Wipe away your tears you drunk,
too many fears again,
you gave away all those years to a passing lullaby,
the poets end, the poets end.
Hello my friend, a martyr to pretend and still waters flow
to the heartaches that swallow your pride, comparability
too close for comfort and you wave to the poets end,
the poets end.

I let it slip. I fell for you.
But the feelings, slipstream to a heart so true,
forever blue and the very smell of you,
makes me shiver, in our river of truth,
what doesn't **** me, won't hurt me and
the very mention of your name,
makes me shake,
that was my only mistake was loving you
my sweet surrender.

No bells ring.
No birds sing.
Sabbath ****** sabbath.
I was your altar, a masquerade to surrender,
to tarnished pity and repo splendour,
to sick on the adventure of a holy matador,
blind to submission, one more kiss to caress,
the void that belief will conquer, no prisoner of faith
that will serenade past again and again, torture laughter
and warm, warm rain.

Fear of fears and cruelty.
Abandoned and haunted by silence
A silhouette tear, statuesque frozen through years of permofrost drama,
like the anguish of youth, a conundrum to sterile,
a truth of whispers fly bye-bye to the ghost in your closet.
Now a skeleton of has been purpose that sails by on a slipstream of memory,
biting tongues caress the heartbeat of your anguish,
sweet lullabies dance to the frozen tears.

Where is that fragile sympathy,
tainted mortal cignet of self doubt,
and maze of relief that ignites this night of slow torture and flickering resistance to tremble knee deep in sleep,
but awake i stand guard over these feelings that slip side and sip anguish deep inside,
no shelter from the pain that then takes away the pity, the blame, the shame.
why do you only ever leave me when i just came.

You, you, you yes you.
you ran out of luck.
*******, you, you, yes you.
that smile frozen to a fallen frown,
you will always kneel down and head bowed you, you,you, yes you.
who once turned your back when i cried for mercy, now i see you, oh you, you, you, yes you, *******.

Oh so patronising, I spit on your horizon,
you are so ****** up.
Pity hides from you, wake up and use another,
fragile and sneaky,
vulnerable and nasty,
false and three faces, loose cannon at the weekends,
you swim in a river of sad friends,
touch the gates of hell and get to ****.