I can't get through the ocean
On my own,
The same way
I can't get through to you

I don't know you.
You are just a stranger
Behind the same prescription
Though your eyes
Have never looked the same
To me
As they once did

You look good
But you know it
I prefer beautiful things
That don't have to ask
For the love they won't get

Admirance is different;
A lust seen through
Two tiny black holes
I think that's the only sight
You've ever known

I should have been gold to you
Because you said I was
You were my world
But I guess I was just the fool

I've always been the one to defend you
With or without me
I wanted you to have the best
But I now find
I'm the one who needs defending

You're army of insecurity
Is no match for my swift feet
I could never use your secret as a weapon
But I've considered it

The person I loved in you
No longer exists
I was sad to find
that my friend is gone too

I don't want to be your boomerang
I want to be your bird
But I'm caged by the thought
That you have a heart under all that
Armor

There’s an elephant in the room
Sitting
In the place you would have been

The thought of you hits me like a silent train
I thought had already derailed
But the tracks
Follow me ruthless

A drop turns into a flood
Leaving an outline on my pillow
It’s shaped just like
The world you shaped just for me

There’s a sadness in my mother’s eyes
That I could never quite pronounce
It courses her veins and lives in the
Parentheses around her mouth

So much as to say it out loud
Causes my voice to shatter
The hardest thing she’s ever had to do
Is love

I have to push you away now
Like I have for months
I hate the fire you bring to my throat
Though I’ve always loved a flame

You are every star in the night sky
Illuminating
My courage is too short fused
To handle dark nights

Love, always