All of our friends are over, all with their lover.
As I sit on the sofa twiddling my thumbs,
I begin to wonder where I went wrong.
It must be the shyness, possibly my appearance
or maybe they see the raging war inside of me.
After all no one wants broken things.
No one wants the tears and scars that comes with a package like me.
People say I’m just not ready,
that I need to wait for my mind to become more steady.
But healing doesn’t happen overnight,
and I know this is something I’ll deal with the rest of my life.
You guarantee there’s one out there for me..when I’m ready.
but I can’t help but wonder…will I ever be?

I long for you.
So I can love you.
So you can hold me.
So we can spend summer nights like these
on the roof looking at the stars.
But the reality is.. I’m alone.
No one to love.
No one to hold.
So I curl myself up in my sheets
and let loneliness be the lullaby
that sings me to sleep.

Many people fight to stay alive
Some are fighting battles of disease
Some starvation and others injuries
But many forget about the ones
Fighting battles that no one can see
Battles in the mind yet they receive no sympathy
If they can't see the pain then it does not exist
No one can see the demons in my head
But the scars on my wrist prove that they're real
Like those battling disease, I am very sick
I am crippling and fading and I am worn from trying
But no one can see that I am dying
I am not my illness, so I will fight it
Although no one can see my little disease
It takes everything I am to continue to breathe

I feel like I'm breathing but I'm not really alive.
The blood pulsing beneath my skin and the air going through my lungs
Means nothing when I feel dead inside.
I am a ghost. Walking through a hall of smiling faces and joyful laughter.
Feeling insignificant and invisible.
Although the scars are fading, my past still haunts me.
My wrists are clean but my heart is not.
Its been beaten, scabbed, broken, and bleeding...but it continues beating.
Death seems peaceful, easy, but I'm not finished here,
Even though I'm in a season of a nightmare.
No matter how hopeless and dark it seems, I still see traces of beauty in the breakdown.
Hope shining through in midst of adversity.
Maybe a smile from a stranger
A flower from a loved one
A kiss, a hug, a touch.
Your beauty is weaved through this storm.
True love is waiting for me, not with a box of chocolates, but nails in His hands, pinned to the cross
Its time to let go and thaw this heart of stone.
My demons have no match to the power of Your name.
My wounds will heal, my heart will stitch up, and through Your power, I will recover.