The clock strikes midnight again tonight,
I am up to welcome another never-ending day.
Sweaty palms curled against silk sheets,
Screaming profanities into my pillow.
I don’t know how I got here.
Or how misery and loneliness can make such good company
But it seems like solitude will be my lover, my best friend, and my companion for the foreseeable future.
I don’t know how I got here.
I spent so much time planning out my future
But somewhere along the way
I took a detour off of a cliff.
The synapses in my brain seem to have stopped firing,
Completely.
The night seems endless,
Repetitively checking my phone for an answer to my prayers.
A simple “I love you” can do so much.
But the words never come,
And I loose myself.
My thoughts are killing me.
I feel like I’m drowning.
I don’t know what happened between then and now
But I would give anything to go back there.