i never thanked the man who saved my life.

I still smell the tobacco

and hear the noise his beard made against my face

as though the books beside him

would never speak again.

I like to think

just being here

is thanks enough.

i’d spend more time with you if I could

but

leash laws are strict

and you don’t have a collar.

hogging my bed

will have to be enough for now.

I know you better sober

but still

know what will make you cry.

the hardest part

is knowing what will make you happy

is lying through my teeth

saying

“I’m back where I belong.”

the gentle clinking of

differently colored bangles

combined with

the savory scents of

spices I cant pronounce

and

chanting I can’t quite understand

feels more like home

than a television

and a frozen dinner

spring time

is

root root root

for the home team

but more importantly

ernies coffees

made exactly the way I like

mango

and

Mediterranean

empanadas

and

endless stories

from uruguay

I am not mad that you took my toothbrush on your way out

or that

I never received an apology.

only disappointed

that your definition of

family

is blood and bones

instead of our home.

I like to think of most things as circumstantial.

that

I am who I am

beautiful and powerful

and that

fortune

is a jealous ****.