It's feels strange to me sometimes.
To be alone. Just me, myself, and I.
But, I can say that it does not surprise me at all.
It seems I've always been so, and am destined to be still.
There is no one who wishes to understand the chaos of my mind.
None daring to explore the fathoms of my soul.
But I can't blame them I suppose.
For I barely dare to venture there myself.
All have a view of me, so unlike reality.
They say I am quiet, kind, and gentle.
But, they don't know the fierce fire burning inside of me.
The turmoil within that I keep at bay.
The unanswered questions still twisting and turning.
The lost loves, shattered hopes, and waylaid dreams,
They float like flotsam on the waves of my heart, in the constant eb and flow of the tide.
I hold volumes upon volumes of unspoken words in my innermost places.
I keep myself hidden below the surface, afraid to be seen as I am.
Would they find room in their hearts for the real me, should I reveal myself?
No, they cannot even accept the person I choose to present to them now.
If even a particle slips through the cracks, they all disappear.
What I hold inside is too overwhelming a force for them to know how to embrace.
So, I will go on living these two lives of mine.
Wearing that facade visible to the world.
For that is all that they will allow of me.
While my true identity remains tucked away, a secret for me alone and the Creator of my soul.
The love I wish to give hidden deep inside of me.
It is awaiting someone who might have the courage to seek it out and set it free.

Seeing something that shatters your heart into  slivers and needles.
Screaming at the top of your lungs in the car, where no one can hear your pain.
Tears a blinding veil, cascading uninhibited down your cheeks.
Then the numbing truth envelopes every tiny, broken particle of your dying heart with ice.
The body's defense against the piercing pain.
The tears stop, the well is dry.
Your voice leaves you, the screams useless against the ache.
He never loved you, it was all an act.
He moved on without a thought for you, and now he is hers.
And you, well you're alone as you always have been my dear.

You were there for me. You were the good morning text that brightened my day. The person I turned to when I felt discouraged or defeated. You told me to be strong and not to give up. That I would make it. You understood me, because you were so much like me yourself. You knew when I needed to share, and accepted when I needed to hold things inside just a little longer. But you assured me that you were always there when I needed someone to run to. You let me talk deep into the night, until our eyes were too heavy to stay open any longer. I never felt alone because you were always right there when I needed you. For the small things that bothered me, or the big things that threatened to crush me. You shared the burden with me and eased the weight of it all.
 But now you're gone, and I'm lost. I feel like I'm so alone. I miss you.

I long for arms that hold me,
To feel safe in a loving embrace.
I need a hand to hold mine,
A touch erasing worry without trace.
I dream of looking into eyes that know me,
Getting lost in depths beyond time and space.
I yearn to find a home in someone's heart,
Knowing without doubt that I've found my place.
This feeling wraps itself around me,
A daydream I ache to meet face to face.

If I could write a poem, where would I start?
To explain to you perfectly what I need to impart.
That in truth you have so long held my heart.
Of all chapters in this tale, you're my favorite part.

If I could write a poem, what would I say?
How do I put into words the hope of each day?
Do I speak my heart and hope it's okay?
Or hide it inside me, there always to stay?

Oh, if I could write a poem.

This is a poem I wrote for a Romantic Poetry Unit in English. This was my attempt at it.
...............................................................
­My Wish, My Dream, and My Hope
by Hannah Edwards.      

It is the light at the end of a dark tunnel.
It is the promise of something good and true.
It is a dream for the future,
Of a life shared between me and you.
It's the moment when you declare, "I love you".
And in reply I can finally whisper, " I love you too."

It's the moment when you ask me,
To be yours forever, to our last day.
When I cry out "yes",
With happiness so great,
No words could ever convey.
For this, morning and night, to God did I pray.
My deepest wish for everyday.


When you take me into your arms,
And I know I'm where I belong.
The moment I will finally know why everything else went wrong.
The reason I didn't give up, Trying so hard to be strong.
Because God was leading me to you all along.

Then the day dawns when we both say "I do".
Amidst tears and smiles of joy,
We will with gladness bid singleness adieu.
When we promise ourselves to each other, forever to be true.
Remembering the hard times, the waiting, uncertainty blinding our view.
We will praise and thank God for seeing us through.
Even when we didn't understand what life held for us,
God was planning, He always knew.
That is my wish, my dream, and my hope, for me and for you.

Look, do you see that young man over there?
He sits so thoughtful and full of care.
He has listened to the troubles and heartaches of all who need to share.
He has been there for them when no one else would dare.
He has so many troubles of his own to bear.
Heart so full it would seem there was no more room to spare.  
Yet, he reaches out to anyone he can, to build up and repair.
To show them they are not alone, and for them offers up a prayer.
He changes more lives than he knows, he is a friend of value rare.

He takes on his giants each and every day.
He faces opposition for his beliefs, and the words he will not say.
He stands firm no matter the cost, he will not sway.
Though he often feels alone, he hides the hurt from display.
He carries on with strong courage, tucking the loneliness away.
And even when much fills his heart, he keeps it all at bay.
Saying, "I'm fine, don't worry, I'm okay."
He keeps it locked inside him, not allowing his worries on others to lay.
That is just his good nature, it is just his way.

He possesses a lightness of spirit upon which one can rely.
To find the humor and goodness in everything he will surely try.
And when you feel so low in spirit, like there is nothing to do but cry.
He will bring a smile and laugh to your face and lift your spirits high.
For me he has done so, many a time, to that I testify.
He is loving and good to others, in every deed and reply.
Giving of his time and energy, he is generous none can deny.
That's just who he is, he's just that kind of guy.
Giving all he does and everything he is, his Lord to glorify.

So good a friend is he, like none I've ever known.
When I've messed up in every way, and I'm sure all hope is blown.
His great kindness, compassion, and forgiveness he unfailingly has shown.
He offers words of wisdom, when I face a great unknown.
But if when he has no answers to give, he assures me I am not alone.
He keeps me steady and calm, when I feel like a skipping stone.
These years have let me witness the man into whom he has grown.
A man of noble character, brave heart, and steady purpose all his own.

He doesn't know, he doesn't see the one I am seeing.
The amazing person he is, he lives not knowing what he is adding.
The good he has done, and continues to keep doing.
That the part he plays makes other's lives a little more worth living.
His words bringing hope to others, the light that they were needing.
That just by chance his goodness keeps the darkness from blinding.
If I could give him anything, even just one thing.
It would be to see himself through my eyes and knowing,
Just how much he is needed, and how great is his meaning.
The man I see in front of me, and the man he is still becoming.
To never forget it, and remember it every morning.
That is what I would give him, if I could find a way of giving.