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2.2k · Apr 2013
Lobotomy
My timing is off
The bricks are laid
A fallen trail
Of pretty little
Puzzle pieces
Substitutions
That print and press
All the sickness left
I'm tired
Of making it less
Euphemism
Never did the trick
It sugar coats
It tastes too thick
Rain will hit
And quick tossed
Trail crossed
Will melt away
That imaginary
*******
That you
Always create
Goodbye to the past, and the last ******* chapter of my life.
1.4k · Jan 2018
the ideal
In an ideal
position
I'd spend more
Time
Talking to
Strangers

I'd agree
That saying
"Hell"
Is easier
Than  
"Hello"

I'd accept
My indecisive
Nature
And Balance
It all
Out
Eliminate
Self doubt

I'd know
That sometimes
Shot gun weddings
Are okay
I'd runaway
I'd leave
I'd stay

I'd finally
Consider
The prize
Of my own
Perspective
With the limited
Connections
Even keeping
Me going

I'd sit up
Lay down
Walk around
Give enough
Of a ****
I would never
Think to
Quit

I'd make everyone
Happy
Even myself
But instead
...

Hell
adulting

partial cred to Timothy Brown for speaking the right words
1.2k · Aug 2013
Mountain morons
I've been drawing
A blank
Dwelling in this
So called
Conundrum

Only giving
Half hearted gestures,
Forsaking all others

I've deliberately
Out smarted
All the details
Lost in time

Jittery
On every
Steamy day

The remedy
Never lies
In the score book,
Or with
Criminal instincts,
Not even
The crooked
Cab drivers

So I'll wander
In these
Unvarnished
Chocolate covered
Nightmares

I'll hide
Under the
Stairs
Where spiritualistic,
Speakeasy
Behavior
Only leaves
You
Killed or injured

A whirl
Of such discovery
And you
Will finally
See

It's mostly people
Who cause
This kind of
Unease
Elusive for a reason
1.1k · Feb 2013
Bittersweet
I think
I'll
Ingest
Some
Insecticide
Rid myself
Of the
Pests
Inside
A short rhyme, with a lot of meaning.
1.1k · Jan 2013
Non-self
I think about
The things that don't
Involve me
Like science
And problematic equations
Missing pieces
To acient artifacts
Long poles
Connecting electromagnetic frequencies
So he, or she, or them
Can hear the low whispers
Of the man on tv
Telling you
About the woman
Who died
Because
The man
And the man
Knew to much
He was crazy
We are all crazy
Including me
So I'm involved
1.1k · Feb 2013
Stuttering, again.
Now
That I've
Forgotten
Off
The table
Out of
The
Market
Out of
The basket
And woke
Up
To see
You
In
A million
Different
Shades
And
I know
You now
And that's
Just
Too much
To take
It comes
In lakes
A fathom
To high
To reach
To low
To see
I'm sick
Even though
I'm free
And it's
Always
Been
Always
Will
Be
Be
Be
Because
I can't
Have
You
Back to where I started.
1.1k · Feb 2013
Nothing else
I thought
It was
Terminal
Uniqueness
Leperacy
Feeling
Nothing
At all
So addicting
The purple
Trillium
The hum
Of home
Feeling
10,000
Years
Old
To many
Directions
No
Ease
Missing
Love
Bees
Knees
Nothing
Near
Just
Mem­ories
1.1k · Mar 2013
Point-blank
The
Caffeine crumbles
All my sober realities
All the ******
Sematic  
Symbiotic
Claims
We all have
Made
At some
Point
Shaking
Sweaty palms
Leasing time
And hoping
On the reels
Of tape
That hang
From your
VHS
Piling
Ten high
Crawling
All over
The
Fake realities
I've created
It all
Changes
When
The genetics
Leave you
24 hours
Slap you
Sharp into
Place
Right in
The face
That first
Got
You
Here
Sober realizations
1.0k · Jun 2013
Nasturtiums
If I thought these dreams
Of things
Unattainable
Were things meant
To glide easy
And tread upon
The arcs
Where
All the clouds
And doubts
Of every
Enigmatic
Tragic
Thing
Stopped
There'd be thought
Persuaded
Lost
Leather men
Thoughts
Of some avoidable
And some
Unexplainable
All of them trickle
With smiles
Growing deeply
Into space
That is submission
Dismissing
Nothing
Sleeping and dreaming
On my
Hard wood floor
Anywhere
Just to be
Close
To something
Grow
Into nothing
The break
Of snapping lead
The twists
And winding sockets
In all
The empty pockets
I've wanted
Masquerading
Patterns
Entertaining
Anything
I'd take anything
For a real night
Maybe,
A truth fight
That emerald ice
Where I create
Some illusion
When all things
Fade
No longer missing
The attainable
But creating
Elusive paths
Where I am
No longer trapped
Getting back into the flow of no longer falling.
1.0k · Mar 2013
Crocodile Tears
I was moving
Seeing double
Two of her
Maybe three
Dogs crossing
Almost dying
Wine trying
To unhinge
Me
The loneliness
Corrodes me
Equivocates
And I see
Straight
Again
One of me
One of her
Face
To
Face
Both of us
In this
Seclusion
Alone
Misrepresentation
A lie
We both
Go home
Alone
And cry
The same
Cry
Six hundred
And thirty
Six
Times
1.0k · Mar 2012
Deaf perception
The rythmatic sequences of sound
Slithered through my brain
Leaving ***** of yarn
Tangled all around me
Caught between deception
And a ressurection
Becoming one with the water droplets
Stuck to the window
Visions fluttered through my mind
Like tiny little butterflies
Tickling the inside of my eyes
The greatness soothed me
To a point of fear
A good fear
Like that of a fierce man
With a sweet soul
That of a burdened child
With a perfect life
My wallet was empty
But my heart was full
Of sounds
And shapes
Like the little block toys
From my childhood
Nothing could stop this
This sentimental feeling
Not even the burning pictures
Falling from my pinstriped wall
Orchestrating music
Inside my ears
Italian cuisine
Inside my mouth
Panics, paranoia
Inside my head
The American dream
Filled with fireworks
And potholes
Covered by band aids
In God we trust
Police
Sitting and smoking
At the saloon
Being available
For nothing
Losing goodwill
Every second
Every moment
Laying around
As fat house cats
What flawless
Behavior
We all rent
A fake life
And pretend
We aren't
Crashing
Their cars
Into a concrete lady
939 · Mar 2012
End
End
Pressure rising
Pulse subsiding
Outside flying
Inside I'm crying
Problems dying
To much lying
No more denying
I know this is trying
Tired of the spiting
I see you've been hiding
Becoming, abiding
It's time for some guiding
It seems so inticing
To rid the unexciting,
Coinciding,
Whining
Jeopardizing,
Stereotyping,
To only bring on,
A new horizon
898 · Feb 2013
Anachronism
There is nothing
Like the wind
When it sweeps
You
Off your feet
The way
The walls
Stand purple
Filled
With dancing
Indians
The prickles
Of the pines
That walk
Across
Your back
Then
They tell
You
To go
Back
And start
Over
Went digging, and found an old scrap poem.
868 · Aug 2013
Will Return
You're fast
And brainy
The same age

You seem preoccupied
And don't respond
To question

Now and then
You'll swing
A cat

Trudging along
A line of scrimmage
Some kind of astonishment

Old fashioned
And furious
You come out
Of that line
Charging
In all directions

A shift glance
To get some sense
And controversy
A dash of wit

Is there such thing
As a curve ball?

Would you lose
Interest
If I told you,
No?
Trying to write, again
857 · Mar 2013
Hollowfull
I can hear that hacking noise
Off in the corner
Of the room
Where nothing comes up
Hacking for hours
Days
Maybe weeks
Nothing slips out
Nothing crawls in
Just a sick
Sad
Empty sack
Of nothing
Feeling hollow but filled at the same time, and not knowing how to cope.
829 · Mar 2013
Blood buzzed
I'm
So
****
Disoriented
In between
Lines
And irretrievable
Touching

Paroxysm
Creaking
Me awake
For hours
On end

I'm
Tight - lipped
Tongue - tied
Dumb struck

Still

Ever since
Your slam
Of the
Door
That point
Of entry
That
Could
Have
Lead
Us

Nothing
Never

Now it's
Nowhere

And
You're
Never
No where
Now you're

Nothing

At all
Disappointment when someone opens a door for you and then slams it in your face.
785 · Dec 2012
Old anger rant
I had a purpose
To let you sit on me
Let you bleed on me
And walk away
Untouched
No you can go
Unfucked
And love someone
With your
Fake aesthetic
I hope you know
You are
Faker than foe
You're a pretty little ***
That stands
On the corner
Down the street
You fed
Off my meat
Deceit
Was all
You gave me
785 · Feb 2013
Delayed
You're blaming
Disrepair
On the moonlight
Carving
At your
Own eyes
Any connection
To the truth
Or open eyes
Silent
But screaming
Cries
The pain
That comes
With slicing
Open
Knots
The cloud
Around
Your brain
It's just
A game
That you
Have to
Play
All the
Clouded
Clarity
Leaves you
In the night
Tucks you
Into bed
And lays
Your
Ink filled head
To rest
You wake up
Inside out
I don't doubt
Your purpose
You really think
You're born
For this?
Dipping pens
In expired
Time
Seasons
Already
Gone by
Leads you
In a circle
When you
Draw
What you've
Already
Lost
780 · Mar 2013
Stuffings
Pretend
If I was accompanied
In this shallow moment
Where time shattered
And maybe surfed
Across my skin
I'd be lonely,
But not alone
I'd see a day where
The unavoidable reality
Was my own
Fortress of my heels
Something I'd never escape
*******
And unattainable dreams
Where you could
Touch all the little details
Pick them up and
Dust them
Call them
Yours
Take them home and
Shred them
Salad toppings
Ingest
And be full
Forever
A poem based off another poem by my favorite poet Diane Wakoski.
777 · Jan 2013
After hours
Scratches
At my door
Awakened
By the teenage
Angst
A *****
Savaged
Feeling
Of them
Walking
Through the door
Smacks
Me
In the face
The carpet
Stained
With
All the kissing
All the missing
Pieces
Slaughtered shadows
Broken windows
The glass
It's in my feet
It's moving
Crawling up
Dancing
On my spine
All the time
Now
It's
Leaving
I can feel it
Waving goodbye
Dying
Inside me
Trying
To find
Me
772 · May 2013
Chip off the Ole' Block
I pack my bags
Inside my mind
Line my things
And count the times
Dripping clocks
And suitcase thoughts
It's all a puddle
Splash of loss
Broken fevers
Sweating meters
Quarters drop
Heads get tossed
From skipping
In crosswalks
Humming
During long talks
Hiding
In a freight box
And stopping








With the
Blank thoughts
754 · Jan 2013
Predicting the weather
The mattress sheets
They feel like ****
They aren't soft
The aren't rough
They are slick
And I'll slip on
My face
When I wake up
Then my day
Will be great
741 · Feb 2013
Bladdered
I'm drunk
There is nothing more
Condescending
Than drunk
Nothing more
Aggravating
Then reaching
The bottom
Of your
Glass
That empty
Full feeling
Pink cheeks
Trying to
Make
Someone
Think
You're
Sober
731 · Feb 2012
Wishful Thinking
Quit singing your sad bluebird blues
Eyes filled with broken record tears
I'll never understand
Your empty tortured heart
The sick satisfaction
That comes with watching,
Those visually striking images
They lure you in
****** you up
Swallow you whole
Like the snake that wallows
Through your green gate garden
You should never battle,
Battle for love
I turned on the light
In that corner
Where you kept your secrets
I showed you the words
That fell from the sky
I laid them out,
In black and white
No need to hide away,
In your little square bubble alone
I know the air is thin
I have a bubble of my own
Jump off your tangled cord television,
That you stare away your problems into
It is all a lie
The closeness
The flame
The suppressing feeling,
They call love
The greyness of the back seat,
Should tell you what you need to know
Even though the bubble is getting smaller
Seeming like a constricting slithering nigthmare
Your heart is growing,
Like the skyline that you see,
When you wake up,
And realize you are no longer alone
703 · Feb 2013
Mexico makes music
Have you ever had a dog
Lookin you right in the eye
Rabid teeth and crooked smile
When your turn your back he'll bite
Have you ever seen a man
Livin such a sour life
Do you seek more solace in
In The day or in the night

I don't know the difference
I don't know the difference
Between the two (x2)

Have you ever met a man
Devils Fire blazing in his eyes
Burning bright he'll burn you right
Would you trust him with your life
Have you ever shed a tear
At a lost lover's grave stone
Does your heart beat swift for fear
Or keep a steady beat for love

Now you've got Jesus, the supposed savior
And then there's vampires.
Demons in the darkness.
I don't know the difference.
They're both just working for themselves

I don't know the difference.
I don't know the difference between the two.

Have you ever had a man lookin you right in the eye.
Rabid teeth and crooked smile.
When you turn your back he'll bite.
Have you ever seen a monster,
In the shadows of your soul.
Do you seek more solace in a sheath or in the coals?
This is a song I started writing while in Mexico. My friends and I finished it up, and are currently working on it.
701 · Feb 2013
Valence
This zipper
Stays
Unzipped
It's stuck
I'm unequipped
For what
You
Are
Bound
To know
How low
Can
A person
Go?
I know
Because
That is
Where
I've been
Laying
Lying
How long
Has it
Been?
Months
Weeks
No one
Gets
In
Not because
I can't
But only
Because
I can
A man
A place
A time
A plan
It's not
Even worth
It
Anymore
689 · May 2013
Lost: In a knife factory
So,

I'm trying to
Understand you
Even though
I don't really
Want to
Smooth tricks
All the mental
Ticks
And tocks
Of the brain

Your penchant
For spending
Time alone
And also not
Deep in thought
Guzzling on
The distinguished
Stigma
Of holding
All the
Cosmic grudges

Finding depth
In cantankerous
Plot twists
Keep on adding them
To your
"*******" list
Just see
What you'll get
Keep having
Your fits

Each one
Of your
Personalities
Will double
And you'll
No longer know
Which one caused
You the trouble
You'll fall
When you wake up
And ill-starred
Unaware
Blundering
Through the dark
It's sad to say

You'll forget
Who you are
The slow process of forgetting who you are.
An admonition to myself, and those who wonder.
683 · Mar 2012
Cannabilism
You ate your obsession. You had some kind of oppression. Like the baby bird, pushed from it's nest. I picked you up. Brushed you off. Took you in. But your broken bones, I could not mend. How was to watch you heal? When you wanted to break, apart the shell. The one you once hatched from. I kept you away, from the poison, Growing near the grave of your past. But you'd always drift. Back to what broke you. I cannot stop, the breaking of your bones. I can only feed the mouth of your heart, until you stop walking, on those shallow stone waters, where the rocks are sharp, and the current, can always scoop you up, and pull you under. Take a deep breath, because I cannot breathe, the breath that once made you whole.
675 · Apr 2012
Missing you
I miss you,
Your red bandana rants
Your bare feet foot prints
And your big brown eyes
That grow trees
As tall as mountains
That you climb
To new expectations
That I'll never reach
But one day
I'll reach you
I'll hold your dirt covered hand
I'll see the trails
You've been traveling
I'll know what's real
What's fake
And
It will all be
Because of you
672 · Dec 2012
Song in progress
Jealousy and me
Ain't no happy cup of tea
Momma told me
Nothing good
Could come from that
Kissin in the rain
It only brings on rainy days
And love sick colds
Are cured
By jealousy tea
I never liked that taste
Honestly
It was always way to *******
Bittersweet.
669 · Feb 2012
Tunnel Vision
Today the upside down butterfly
It landed on me
The blue brick wall
It fell beneath my feet
I walked it to the underground tunnel
Where the black eyes
Looked into me like the kaleidoscope
Hanging from my ceiling above my bed
They took my eyes
And not knowing of their sadness
I fell into the carpet
I sunk into the floor
Four whole hours
I watched the children run away
I watched without watching
I loved without loving
And I fell without falling
The sound of crackling eggshells
reminded me of what I could not see
The way he touched my melting lips
Simple ecstasy
All something I could not see
I forgot of the black eyes
And the butterfly
It landed where I could not see
Could not hear
Could not feel
But as I walked through my own thoughts
I could think
I could do anything
I was me
660 · Apr 2013
Modern time, nursery rhyme
Broken chairs
Stoves on hot
Cheerios
With milk
On top
Pairs of shoes
Two of kind
Malt and shake
Wrong and right
Wise and smart
All alike
Birds and planes
Both of flight
Children fall
I grow up
Sometimes life's
Just not

Enough
Combination of child and adult logic
650 · Mar 2013
Moon rise/sun dies
Explosions
All the pretty little
Colorful pieces
I've ever espoused
Pink bows burning
All the little plastics
Melting off
Sticking to
My fingertips
I can hear you
Driving by
I can hear everything
Every word
That you are saying
You inadequate idiot
I'm now
Equipped for this
To rub you out
And swing you
All around the room
Dancing, prancing
Catching tunes
Moods of maybe marvels
Egg shells crackle
Under our feet
Bleeding tears
And shiny tires
Where all
I think about
All I dream about
Is forgetting
Who I am
Self conflicts
638 · Feb 2012
Wishful Thinking
Quit singing your sad bluebird blues
Eyes filled with broken record tears
I'll never understand
Your empty tortured heart
The sick satisfaction
That comes with watching,
Those visually striking images
They lure you in
****** you up
Swallow you whole
Like the snake that wallows
Through your green gate garden
You should never battle,
Battle for love
I turned on the light
In that corner
Where you kept your secrets
I showed you the words
That fell from the sky
I laid them out,
In black and white
No need to hide away,
In your little square bubble alone
I know the air is thin
I have a bubble of my own
Jump off your tangled cord television,
That you stare away your problems into
It is all a lie
The closeness
The flame
The suppressing feeling,
They call love
The greyness of the back seat,
Should tell you what you need to know
Even though the bubble is getting smaller
Seeming like a constricting slithering nigthmare
Your heart is growing,
Like the skyline that you see,
When you wake up,
And realize you are no longer alone
637 · Feb 2012
Nothingless Nothingness
Shattered mirror visions
Spew out of my ears
Poison corrodes my body
I become lifeless
A shell with nothing inside
Debranched from the tree
From it's lifeless life of nothingness
motionless
meaningless
nothingness
Until the open eyed stare
Comes and fills me with open door echoes
Feeds me the moon
That once rolled from my tongue
Knocks me out
Gives me chills
Until my head lands by my side
And sings the sleepless sound of sadness
Tucks me into my pocket of my thoughts
Until I awake
To find myself living
To find myself
Alive
626 · Jan 2013
Stuck and poke
Stupid sticks
And pokes
On your hands
Street writes
Pen types
Ball point
It stuck into
The dots
On my hand
564 · Mar 2013
This one means nothing
It comes like clockwork
Fixated rock body
Down face in
That empty warm
Cold ditch
Bottomless pit

Stitching quilt less
Flip the pillow
Cold side up
Empty spot

Usual thinking
Of massless
Mornings
No lumps left

In between

Bent hangers
Lemon peels
Quite the company

Chains rattling
The empty beckoning  

Throbbing of
Rare skin

The place
Where your body
Should collect
My errors

In between
Twirling,
Trickling

Destroying every
Cloudy  fist

Sweeping over
Nothing

But broken
Dreams



Of you.
Had/have hopes that seem hopeless.
561 · Jan 2013
Rut
Rut
Red blotches
On my arm
All this harm
It's in my veins
I'm too deep
For you
This will end
Bad
Unless
You prove me
Wrong?
558 · Jan 2013
Wasted
I am a waste
A quitter
At everything
Except
The smokes
In my pocket
Stick a fork
In my socket
And restart
Me
550 · Jan 2013
Sticky keys
Transgression
The sick feeling
Of knowing
You have gone
To far
Running into
Bed frames
Non existent card games
And
Alcohol
Spilling
Out words
That taught you
How to yearn
For something
That isn't even there
Broken pieces
Of deleted
Keys
Finger prints
That study
Every move
Tainted
Brain waves
Elaborate
Sun gaze
Stings
Stares
And melts
My heart
Again
549 · Mar 2012
Kcuts no esrever
The frozen pixel moment. The exits, leading to a new beginning. The tangled necklace story. The blue spinning globe. Nothing more than a moment. A flash of yellow light. The blinking turn signals, leading to nowhere land. A place I'd love to be. Nothing to ponder, but the guitar strums, of passing cars, and the resting area inside my head.
542 · Jan 2013
Nothing special
I am not compliant
I'm moody
I'm messy
My shadow is crooked
When it hits
The brick road
The mail man
Nods
Knowing
I'm nothing special
The neighbors
Stare
In curiosity
Of
Who I might be
Become
But really
I'm the outside
I'm the dark night
Nothing special
532 · Apr 2012
Soundless conversations
I watch you.                                

Twitch and turn
In your own confusion
Seeping out your pores

It hits me.

It shows me who you are.

You are beautiful.

If only I could show you
Show you how I see
Show you how the light
Hits the pools of water
That I store away
In the lakes
Of my dreams

My hopes.

That now hope
For you
And me

Together.

I see the stubs
Of shaven hair
That grow
So slow
Like the love
I think we share
The way the breeze
Brushes across

This bed of silence
Has never said so much

Speaking nothing.

Has never done so much
But make me see
How you see
How you feel

You are,

Imperfectly perfect.
527 · Mar 2012
...
...
I think I love,
Not finishing my thoughts
The ones that lead to doorways
White doorways
With wood grain imprints
And a shiny gold door ****
Cold to the touch
I think I love
Not speaking my mind
When I should
When it's cold
And I'm warm
But it's crazy
All at once
I think I love
Incomplete thoughts
The ones that leave you hanging
Like the bandit
With the dusty eye patch
Hanging loosely
From that oak tree
Out my window
That makes me think
That I...
Well...
You...
A direct spew of thoughts from the deepest part of me. Some thoughts I cannot even bring myself to speak out loud yet.
519 · Jan 2013
Twisted
I did what had to be done
To make me forgive
And now
I'm just like you
Again
512 · Jan 2013
Sad truth turn arounds
The out line
Of my fingers
Crept together
In the light
That tip toed
Through the darkness
No condolences
We're offered
Except for mine
And from that sympathy
Came something
I cannot explain
I still can't
Speak your name
This game
Is slowly ending
But it winds
And turns me
In your corner
You aren't
My owner
Never will
Be
It's safe to say
I love you
Or loved
Because the meaning
Of that thing
Has slowly dissipated
With all my emotion
Corrosion
I can feel it
In my face
I still love
I still hate
Just please
Get out
Of my head
It's ruining
Everything I've said
This beginning
When I wake up
And even though
I miss the ruins
That I lived in
All my life
I finally see
They aren't for me
I love your ruining
But I'm through
Running
From what's
Meant to be
482 · May 2013
Fateway
dangling,
trickling
stuck
in the sheets
you turned,
and spoke
as you looked
into me

"stop"

"it's too late"

"don't forget to close the gate"
we are all predestined to fail.
458 · Jan 2013
Bed board open door
I have this new beginning
To this end
I've been writing
To this wall
I've been fighting
To hold up
And now all
The biting
All the loose pen
Writing
Is holding up
Some lighting
In my mind
I see that the backboard
Has always been
A closed door
Waiting for something
Waiting for more
And it's strange
I've known you
All along
And you've never
Really gone
And now
You're hear
Slowly cracking
Down the door
That I only
Knew before
As a dark space
A bad place
That hid
Behind my head
Now your lying
In my bed
And instead
Of deceit
And picking off
My meat
You tuck
Me soft
To sleep
And kiss
My broken
Feet
I finally have realized
That you are full
Of no lies
No disguise
And now I'm glad to say
You are all mine
444 · Jan 2018
1815
I want to
Be
Like Switzerland

Establish
A treaty
With the
World
And myself,
I'd like to stay
Inside my
Shell

Or eliminate it
Completely

Could it be simple?
Or does it have
To be
Complex?
It's a matter of
Perspective,
I guess

I'm an elk
In the water
Avoiding the current
Undertow
I've never been
Good
At going with
The flow

Blaming it
On someone
Else
Won't make it
Go away
I've learned that
The hard way

But I still
Keep trying to
Stay afloat
On tidal waves
stiff but relevant
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