Sometimes I think I just know to much
I tried to help, looks like I ****** it up
again

*I'm sorry

sell you a little death, puts one more count on my head
crumbling under climbing numbers,
smothered by heavier, uglier guilt
bury me, the failure, in ****, please **** where i'm dead
this is all i am, the life i "built", let no flower grow

ingesting again and it's conquering my head
crumbling under climbing numbers,
smothered by heavier, uglier guilt
too jealous to reach back out, too selfish not to
take you with me, i refuse to be alone in my hold

"if i can't have it, then no one will"
but self hatred never gave anyone the right to ****
no matter whether they're mine, these hands on my shoulders
will not let go

out of body, out of mine
floating lamely
doormatted to the floor
peripherals in my head
always find you
i can wish, i can dream
but i promised to leave
and you don't love me
i lied, i can't prove it
please, i know i'm crazy
but i'm not dumb
"now you're heartless
and i'm done"

the transit authority borrowed her bones
some friend, took her body and broke it again
scripted out, i met a lady who i was supposed to know
cause we all had to talk before we could go
mumbling, dribbling coffee chins, whispering hows and where they've been
her voice was booming, but unrecognizable, she looked the same
apparently hadn't told us her real name
maybe it was the accident scrambling her brain
but it was all just words that make you wonder
what will the "transit authority" take from me?

could it be
that taking one urgent step into the street
might be a means that
headlights flick to highbeams
and glide over me?

square semicircled, claiming false
empowerment notioning headfirst
addressing of inner, personal guttertrash
can be cleansing when, in all honesty,
everyday is sunday and that letters never coming
'cause that letter never sent

Tick
Measuring the angles
hands shaped triangles
acute attention paid
obtuse thoughts laid
when the clock is isosceles
I can leave

Tock

Its only been a second
apathy beckons
anxiety comes in second
JUST BEGIN THE LESSON!
YOU! STOP ASKING QUESTIONS!!

Tick

Mood unchanging
Motion stationary
Minutes deteriorating
Minus thirty
Master wary

Tock

I drink to remember the times I forgot, while drunk.