I used to clothe myself in others
cover every square inch of me
with someone else.
I wore war paint, and Camouflage. But no one tells you
when you put those layers on
how difficult it is to scrub them off

I thought my mind contained a galaxy
so I cracked it open. Could you imagine my surprise
when the only thing that happened was that I bleed.

I thought my eyes were portals
so I stared into oblivion.
All I gained was a headache

I thought my mouth was a black hole
******* everything into its abyss.
I got sick

I thought my skin was space.
My freckles planetary.
I thought I was a universe


I very well could be.

A shot of ***** is a lot like falling in love
I’m left with slurred speech and
an aching when its over

one.
The two hour drive up left
my skin bruised with a spectrum of colors

two.
We poured ourselves out of our skin
         onto the damp grass,
                            ventured into woods in search of
                                                              bu­gs we’ve never seen
and words we’ve never heard.

three.
We cast our faces upwards
to escape the choking smoke
                                      and
                      ­  found ourselves struck by the clearness of the sky
you told me then,
Everyone of those stars could be decease
                                                                ­      you could be falling in love under the images
                                of things long dead
you said, Doesn’t that sound a lot like memories.

four.
We found ourselves alone in the dark
I was afraid to sleep alone
                                             maybe it was the handle of *****
left on the table  
                           but I found the courage to ask you to spend the night.
laying in the grass I thought the night sky would never
look this way again
                                   I was right.

five.
We took pictures,
saved them as mementos
                                          and I wondered that if I smiled
looking back
I might think I wasn’t
                                    sad.

one.
we traced outlines of our frames
in chalk on sidewalks

two.
You asked me if I would marry you under the oak tree
in your backyard with fireflies as our
witnesses  
I said, I do

three.
We started kindergarten
today and I asked you to
build our future house out of legos
you looked at me like I had three heads and
pushed me down.
They said, Boys will be boys
you said the same thing on my porch that
afternoon but you gave me a flower you picked
from your mother’s garden and said you wouldn’t do it again.

four.
You stopped coming over to catch fireflies
and hold my hand.
My mom said that we grew apart
but I told her that we had promised to get married
in spring in your parents yard under the tree we climbed
that year when I fell and broke my arm.
She told me I fell in love like a child
but
how could i fall in love any other way?

five.
So isn’t it fitting that I fell in love with a Boy
afraid of heights?
Who never even had foreknowledge of what it felt like to fall.

I fell in love with you
similarly to how people fall in love
with Winter.
With foreknowledge that they will eventually
tire of the cold.