The sun still stings when I fall asleep in the grass behind your house.
I only visit when everyone is out; your dog doesn't mind. He, after all, has always been the only one to like visitors.
Burning up in your backyard, it's easier to pretend you wouldn't mind if you saw me standing by the hammock when you came home. It's easier to ignore how much you wish I were dead.
Please don't be alarmed to find cookie crumbs on your table when you make yourself a bowl of cereal after everyone is in bed. I would've cleaned up, but I wanted you to know some part of me still is messy, and thoughtless.

I don't understand,
you tucking me in the night
the pain in my head made me go blind

I felt you holding me for hours

I don't understand,
you shivering in your skin after
melting into my bones,
social science in front of the flickering TV

filling the silence with our tongues

I don't understand,
the wanting and repulsive nature of anger,
how you taped your name to my door in quiet defiance and
never looked back

Turn around, ******* it.

I never meant
to chew on your insides,
I was just hungry and
the moon was full and
it was all too much

Her name turns my stomach
like ham cooking on a stove,
it makes me want
to chew my insides out too.
This is probably the reason
you love her so much

Maybe you won't
carve her name into your skin
this time,
but I'm not so sure
I believe you

Happy birthday,
because I didn't forget
I am 19 and 69 all at the same time.

It's tough to love,
and hurts to die

So **** me fast,
then we'll get high.