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Hamzah Apr 1
I dreamt about you last night
Well, not about you technically.
It's about my life
Without you in it.
My life
With zero sign of your existence

It felt real,
Every inch square of your skin
                                I didn't touch
Each expression in your face
                                 I didn't see
Every moment in time that
       I didn't spend with you
Each memory
We never made

I had a dream last night
A glimpse of life without you in it
                         And
As i woke up
I realized,
It was just called yesterday
And today, i have to experience it
Again
And again
                        Everyday
Hamzah Mar 27
Everything that starts,
Shall end.
Thus, "Hello" is just another way to say
"Goodbye"
Hamzah Mar 18
Oh no no no,
Don't get me wrong
I don't love you,
and never will.

If that's what it takes to be with you
Then, I will never love you
in every way that you would probably love.
in every way possible.

Oh no no no,
I can look you dead in the eye and say that
I don't love you
and never will.

If that's what it takes to look you in the eye
Then, I will never love you
in days and nights
in loneliness or in presence

Oh no no no,
There are no single statement that's true
That I don't love you,
and never will.

If that's what it takes to love you,
If loving you means stop loving you,
If loving you means not loving you they way it supposed to
Then, i don't love you
and never will
Hamzah Mar 13
There's a strange man staring blankly at me.
With black circles around his eyes,
Pale skin, messy hair, and doesn't look well-groomed.
His skinny body covered in a bad fashion-sense.
He looks daunting.
Nay, he looks into nothing.

There's a strange man staring blankly at me.
An unfamiliar face i never saw before,
Dark brown iris surrounded by stained white around it.
He's just looking at me, i'm not even sure what he wants.
Does he need help?
Does he do that just because?

There's a strange man staring blankly at me.
Cold, like a rifle barrel in a gun point.
Sharp, like a 5.56 millimeter waiting to be fired.
And yet his eyes, doesn't spark anything.
His face is flat and emotionless.
No intention to kills but showing no mercy.

There's a strange man
Lives in my mirror.
Hamzah Mar 12
MT
Not a single vowel,
and yet you got the idea.
Hamzah Mar 9
I don't know if i'd still be exist. Next time, maybe there'll be no next time. I don't know if it'll be a lost of opportunity or it is simply simplicity.

The truth is, i'm as clueless as dementia. It feels like i'm so close to forgetting who i am. I don't know you, yet i know you better than i know myself right now.

Insomnia was my late night snack i often enjoy. Now it feels empty. Like a broken bucket that can't be filled, it will always be empty. I don't know if you took something as you leave, i feel like i'm losing something. No, i don't think it's my sanity. Or maybe it is, because in my broken head live the idea of you never leave. Although in my broken heart, i know you were never here anyway. They conflict. They contradict. They sick.

Now, everything that happened are simply. I don't want to overthink things, yet i'm thinking about it overly. The fact that you said "maybe". I know it was just maybe.
For me, "maybe" means that there are possibility.
Or maybe, "maybe" means just maybe. I don't know if you're talking literally or hypothetically.
In my broken head, there's hope. In my broken heart, there's a shout to stop.
I don't know. I'm as clueless as dementia.

The truth is, i'm not just wishing you were here. I wish you wish i was there. Because maybe, if you wished that, i'll make it true. Truer than you. But maybe, just maybe, hypothetically, beside you is where i'll be. If your wish really is the same as me.
But i know, maybe is just maybe. Or maybe it's probably?
I don't know. I'm as clueless as dementia.
Hamzah Feb 23
In this void and isolation,
Sit Eames serves his damnation,
Neigh in his ears voices of the past,
Wrought sanity in each moment that last.
Please stop!—Shout Eames with braveries,
Beneath his ceaseless reveries,
Retardation for him is inevitable,
Henceforth, numbness is insatiable.

Whilst the time lives as is,
Forsake the lunatics,
Sought means in stampede,
Mere discovers naught awaits,
Good God! Creat’d us for greed!
Forgotten the innocent without traits,
In this void and isolation,
Sit Eames serves his damnation.

Locketh every door that once unveil’d
Refuse Eames’ present as he walk’d
Thou hast no haven herein!
Spurn’d wherever he’s within.
All the doors slow gone,
Thus Eames abideth alone.

No solitude he bears,
Pure absence of any wight,
Naught but none ought to care,
Mere presence none weight.
These isolation he wish’d to end,
He no longer able to withstand;
Poisons swallow’d,
With the hope of termination of sorrow,
Yet death neglect,
To make his mind dissect.

Rest ye’ rusty ol’ fool!
The world won’t bestow you any tool!
Albeit wield’d dagger in his hand,
Pointing towards thee who abandon’d.
Thou know not the travails I hath endur’d?
Shout Eames with eyes hollow’d.
Naked knees bruised as old rag,
Due to an endless beg,
He seeks no salvation,
He seeks no redemption.

Out of the blue,
A soft hand reach’d for him,
Ask’em to grew,
From the kneel did by him.
Is shelter is what you need?—spoken voice sneek
Suddenly terminate Eames’ bleak.
As a goddess who descent,
Radiated an impeccable scent.
With the spirit to back stood,
He finally stands for good.

Why do you take a sinner’s hands?—Eames inquisitively ask’d
At what cost one died in his sins?—said the woman thought it’s her task.
Eames fallen deeper into the pit,
A sudden urge flows in his pith.
There’s a hive and there’s a home,
Yet this one freed him from his catacomb.

Days upon, the broken man bloom,
As the slow march of his gloom,
Awaken an unbeknownst mirth,
Henceforth the absent-mind rebirth.

Pray tell, what dost thou call thyself?—Eames ask’d with fervent haste,
Julia—said the woman who’s innocent and chaste.
They wander to wheresoever they might wend.
Whilst Eames wish’d it’d never end.
Deeper known he hoped to know,
About Julia, the one he thought was faux.
Enlighten me further of thyself, Julia.
Ignore and thou’rt blessed—said Julia.

His insatiable curiosity dost leadeth to his demise,
Lead to many questions arise.
Ask’d but none answer’d,
His curiosity grew as cancer.

Once upon, Julia doth unveils,
About her story and her tales.
She was wound’d like Eames.
As well she never experienc’d dreams.
That verity, left Eames dread,
Is she just a ghost he creat’d?
Delud’d with his lunacy,
In which his brain and eyes have incoherency.

Eames’s brain illuminates,
That Julia is the one he creates.
Eames sudden epiphany
Compose a hymnody
That Eames,
Is still living in his dreams.
Whilst the world keeps forgetting,
Whilst the time keeps marching,
He is still in void and isolation,
He still sits and serves his damnation.
He is still damaged
Hence, he can’t be salvaged.
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