I've been looking for you
you were lost from me quite some time ago now
but I think I found you today
in that moment
after you've just stopped the water running
from the hottest shower you could tolerate
and your skin is bright red
and you pull back the curtain
to a room filled with steam
because you forgot to turn on the fan
and you've forgotten to set out a towel
and the cold of the air starts to settle in
and you glance over at the mirror
all fogged up
but you can see the traces of the past in it
(you see, mirrors don't easily forget)
and you can't make out your own reflection in it
(you see, mirrors don't easily forgive)
and you stand there exposed
as the brume floats all around you
and the haze begins to settle
ahh yes...there you are...
I've been looking for you.

There’s a sick, sad little space
between tea spoons and midnight
where the teeth on your fingertips chatter
and the ink in your forearm prattles on
about which bone you’re going to pull out this time
and how your chapped lips taste like poetry
but your dry eyes can’t bend around the prosody
and it’s in that space that my clothes turned into feathers
and flew away with the *****
the one that pipes out those same four chords
and tempered breath made into rotting elephants on sale
but the bazaar called for more than just pennies
and I don’t think my cough medicine blinks enough
to make this dance hall stop spinning

if every time i thought of you
i only shed one tear
i'd have myself an ocean
swimming, wishing you were here

if every time i thought of you
one tear was all i shed
i'd have myself an ocean
drowning, wishing i were dead

The hardest thing I've ever done
is try to convince myself you're not the one
while we continue to go on as friends
knowing we'll never have what we once did, again.

well they say that your heart is the size of your fist
and my friends try to hit me but most times they miss
but your heart is a wrecking ball, i can’t escape it
and now I can’t remember the last time we kissed

and you buried my heart somewhere under your sheets
and my soul is out in the rain wandering the streets
and my mind’s in november trying to piece this together
and my body is trying so hard to remember

that there was a time when you looked in my eyes
and you told me i’m beautiful, but was it a lie
are these memories, killing me, haunting you too
and did you ever love me, dear, like i love you

were those words that you wrote to me covered in ink
that would wash away easy in the bathroom sink
off your hands, as you wash out the memory of me
while your colors still stain everything that i see

well they say that your heart is as big as your fist
and for all the times i’ve been knocked out i have missed
and your heart is a wrecking ball, can we survive this
when i can’t even remember the last time we kissed

yeah you buried my broken heart under these sheets
and my lonely soul’s lost somewhere out on the streets
and my mind’s in november trying to keep us together
and my body is shaking as i try to remember

the time that you held me and looked in my eyes
and you made me feel beautiful, and i felt alive
now these memories are killing me, do you miss me too
and could you ever love me, now, like i love you

were those words that you spoke to me covered in ink
that would wash away easily right down the sink
wash your hands of this, wash out the colors of me
while your memory stains everything that i see*

and they say that your heart is the size of your fist
and my friends try to hit me but most times they’ve missed
and your heart is a wrecking ball, i can’t escape it
and now i can’t remember the last time i kissed you.

I am tired
of being tired
because I do not sleep
instead I lay
or is it lie
counting these ******* sheep
inside my head
and feeling dead
because in my head I keep
every thought
I’m sure I bought
within me, dark and deep

I’m ******* sick
of being sick
because I am too weak
to just admit
I’m tired of it
this constant losing streak
of all these years
and all these fears
have left me feeling bleak

I haven’t lived
I have not lived
a single ******* day
I hate my brain
I want this pain
to ******* go away

These words can’t show
what I can’t show
but I’m already dead

Clear off the bed
and come lie next to me
or lie with me
or crawl under these sheets
and die with me
or without
I'm used to it
but I could get used to this

Clear out your mind
and sink down low with me
or get high with me
or hold my hand
and lose some time with me
or without
I'm used to it
but I could get used to this

Clean up your act
and fall apart with me
or fall, apart from me
or fall, a part of me
and take some time to cry with me
or without
I'm used to it
but I could get used to this

Clean out your car
and run away with me
or run to me
or put it in reverse
and go back to the start with me
or without
I'm used to it
but I could get used to this

Cleanse your spirit
and embrace this pain with me
or brace for pain with me
or take a moment to put me back together
and just be with me, with me
or without
I'm used to it
but I could still get used to this