I try to fight back
Only to lose yet again.
I try to ignore you,
Only to be tormented until you’re noticed.
I try to rid myself of you,
To bring you down
The same way you’ve brought me down
I try to push you out with thoughts of happiness
Only to be reminded of my mistakes.
I hope to rid you with my numbness,
Only to find you’re the one causing it.
You’re my demon,
My nightmare,
My biggest fear.
You control me with your torment,
I’m too scared to ask for help.
I fear what others would say,
What others would think,
I’m alone in this battle.
Or so I thought.

I sit alone
Silence ringing in my ears
For once
My mind is quiet

No thoughts of my mistakes
No thoughts of my joyful times
No thoughts lurking in the shadows
For once
My mind is without a thought

For one
My mind is peaceful
Without a sound
Still
I cherish this

It’s not often that my mind allows stillness
It’s never fails to torment me
Never lets me forget

For once
My mind is tired
For once
My mind has quit
For once
My mind has failed me
As I have failed you

For once
My mind is gone
And so am I