tunnel vision life
everything happening far away
backwards telescope
high school prom
pink & blue balloons

I walked through those doors
off the devil's wagon
like a poltergeist I was either
invisible
or a painted blood red target

Alone in the hallways
they laughed at me
a wasp-like
******
entombed in toilet paper
spit & magic marker
they didn't hate me,
they got me to hate me
everywhere I went their
gummy bioengineered shadow stalked
it was stuck on me all those years

like a bucket of pigs blood to the head
that I could never wash off

but I'm not that loser anymore
Don't worry, dea  r
Lo ve me.

A dinosaur colluding with the stars
to bring about his own extinction

In the cloud forest worlds of our ancient oxygen pasts

Meteoroid majorette's & atomic attractors
On bended knee praying:

"Oh Heavens, please,
Oh Cosmos,
Please,
Take Us home to Him."

it's strange
the way brain waves
can roll up
onto someone else's beaches
and still feel at home
like the tide-pool-rejects
were all they'd ever known
like the nervous tics beached on the sand
were once their own

as if we had shared roots
at some point but branched off
i see patterns in you
which i thought were mine alone
geographically isolated, we still situated
ourselves into the same niche
brought thought processes
up from where
they were etched into our bones

perhaps we're the same species-
mine a shade stranger than yours
but still with similar history

you said i'd been in your head
since that night we tried to talk
i stumbled over my words
and you said you thought better on paper

you said i knew your thought process
but how you phrased it made it
sound like i'd been on your mind

well, you've been on mine

i know
that it is easy
to feel mediocre
and alone.
but at 30,000 feet
the world is so small
that you can count
the waves of the ocean on your fingers.

do you know
that it is hard
to let you see
what i've found?
breathing is easy
when you are above the clouds.

our love is trapped in the clutches of time-
seized in a moment,
lost in my windpipes,
i am busy catching your breath.

we can cut through the atmosphere.
meet me by the moon
to listen to the morning murmur.
i can only offer you so many escapes.

it's too hard to fix you.
why shouldn't i hide
if i am the bad guy?
and all you want to do
is say goodbye.

i etched eternity into your cracked skin.
i traced familiarity into your bruised bones.
but i am not a savior
nor an angel, it was
merely good timing.

atlas did nothing to deserve this.
even the divine must suffer
even the divine must fall
under the weight of the world.

all we have is each other.
asphyxiated and astringent,
each kiss is an exchanging exhale,
and our lungs convicts.

we'll dig our way out together.
i have only hurt you in secret.
i have only hurt myself in stupor.
but i tried, at least i tried.
i am trying.