I had always thought that Love
Would open the floodgates,
Would make of me
A giant vial,
Tipping me over and causing me
To spill out the sweetest poison.

Love came, in his crafty, shy way,
And as he announced himself,
I prepared, filing through my thoughts,
My bank of literary currency,
Searching for the most succulent of metaphors,
The most shining of similes,
And twenty-six alliterations for
Twenty-six letters.

I sat at my island,
Pen in hand,
Pensive smile on my lips.
My heart was full of music,
And I said, like Orsino,
"If music be the food of love,
Well,
Give me more!"

I sat,
And waited.

I waited,
And nothing came.

No sounds to move my heart to dance,
No symbols to make my eyes twinkle,
No product, no design,
Nothing at all to say.

It is not that Love has made my head blank.
Rather, it is that Love has made
Me mute.
Love waltzed in,
More elegant than I ever will be,
And, approaching from behind,
Placed his solid and ice cold hand
Over my poor, unmoving mouth,
Paralyzed with a smile.

Love spun me around to face him,
Taking my arms forcefully, and said,
"Dance with me."
My mouth remained paralyzed, but
Oh, how my feet flew!
How they skated across the floor
So recently turned to ice
At the courteous request of Love.
How he spun me like a spindle,
How he pricked my finger upon its
Needle.  How he smiled and smiled,
And how I took in nothing but his eyes.

They were not an icy blue as one might imagine.
Instead, they contained a shallow blackness,
Darkness divine.
Where mortals have mere specks of color
In their eyes, flecks like those on marbles,
Love has the stars.
Love has the universe in his eyes,
And the universe has mirrors,
And the mirrors have eyes
That grasp yours,
And soon you know not
What you are witnessing.

The memory of you still exists in my mind,
three years, two girlfriends, and a thousand bottles later.
The way i look for your eyes in a crowd is unsettling,
searching each face as they walk by in their own quiet parallel universe,
unaware of the longing for the comfort of your soft voice and gentle touch.
I look for you because you still are the one,
the one who suffered with me without question and saved me when i was in need.
Salvation was in large supply.
Redemption was a certainly familiar entity.
The road to your heart was a unpaved trail through the wilderness of time and space.
Let it be the one i stay on till the end.

Ocean's
flowing currents
wash over me
with blue noise.
Burning waves
tangle my hair.
Salt *****
my skin,
making my nerves
raw and singing.
The dark sea
saddens me
with it's
cold caress.

The dim morning light
Shone on her body
He admired her perfection

Her legs were thrown carelessly
Above the covers
They seemed to never end

Her hair spread about
Forming a halo of silk
Around her head

Her body leaned toward him
And seemed to sigh
In time with his bliss

Her fingers, long and thin
Were as beautiful as hands could be
And they were his

Her eyes, closed to the world
Were just as beautiful
As the soul they contained

Her arms reached to him
With her bare wrists showing
And on one was tattooed "remember"


He would never forget.

Because one is beauty and one is decay
Because they’re both French
And French things are beautiful
Like those wispy girls, who are skin and bones,
Dragging their paper thin legs in their louboutins
Leaving the red sole behind them

And the word “coquette”
Because it sounds beautiful and ***** at the same time
Like all vain women

As I breathe in the smoke
I feel weightless
Skinny
Until my mouth is fire
Like a phoenix
But I will soon become ash
Floating loftily above the ground
With my cigarettes in my chanel purse

They call it suicide
But on the inside we've already died.
You say you care
But when I needed you no one was there.

I put the gun to my temple
But you're really pulling the trigger.
When you look at the pistol
Do you realize that your mistake was much bigger?

I gave you all I had
But it not being enough made you mad.
I gave you my heart
But you preferred to rip it out.

When I asked if you could hear
It fell on a deaf ear
Despite all that was said
You didn't hear a single word.

But now that I'm dead
Maybe what I had to say will stick in your head.

I cannot fathom a particle
More beautiful than stardust
It builds from core to sediment
To rocks and slabs of ocean floor
The grass that dies and breathes again
The sand beneath my arches

The rubber soles
The air we breathe
The air we share, the air we need
We care for youth until they're meant
To add more forms of sediment
They'll cry, and their babies
Will cry
Not quite out of frustration, but everybody's inclination
And urge to touch the sky

Because we can't breathe this vicious air
We belong to the world up there
Of imploding super nova sights
The nebulas crossing like interstate highways
The traffic of matter holds orbit over all

You can take pride in the life you live
In the air you breathe
In the joy you give
But as for power? Nothing.
Humbled is what you are
Even behind your material goods
You're just the remnants of a star.

You can't hear me talk, can barely hear me sing
My apologies fall deaf on you and what washes over, stings
I fall head first into your ocean, enveloped in waves of rough cement
But through this capture you are peaceful
My battered form makes you content

It's funny how they call the past, the past,
And not the present
You greet the currency of times with nothing but resent
You tell me you know what I see
Laugh toothily as I fall to my knees
Engulfed with pain deeper, than my own
As I watch you fall steeper

It is impossible to stamp the blame
To disrupt your flawless form
I wouldn't dare to place a mark on you, nor tell you what you've worn
I'll motivate my stiffened mind, though you tell me that I can't
Collective moments form the clog
And I have become the ant

It comes as no surprise that
Your comfort scares me so
Behind each understanding is a reckless anecdote
A fury-littered monologue
A venom worded rant
The apology won't matter
Cause I am still the ant

It's difficult to swallow, though
My pills were hours ago
I softly stroke the future that I know is doomed, but floats
It treads above the water, as buoyant as it can
I guess future doesn't matter
I will always be the ant.

Make-up hides the bumps, (she has too many)
Shadow highlights the eyes, (hers are much too dull)
Curler fixes the hair. (there's not enough of it)
But what, 
my dear, 
Do you call a heart?

Push up bra to help the girls, (they're too small to notice)
Tight shirt to reveal, (what's worth revealing)
New jeans to show your... Assets. (not that it's big)
But what,
 My dear,
Do you call your heart?