watching you walk away
tore my insides to bits,
i know you'll come home,
but my fears are irrational.

when you love someone so much
that it hurts badly when they leave
for an extended period of time,
you know that you'd die
if they ever truly left you.

his green eyes watered
as he departed for the marines,
and i knew that this would change
everything.

i have a ring on my finger
telling him that i'll keep loving him
no matter how long he's gone,
letting him have that faith.

but
i don't know how long
i can keep my sanity
i cannot live without him here.

you ask me who i really am
because
i won't tell you without questioning
because
that's just who i am.

you tell me i'm beautiful
and
i can't accept your compliment
because
that's just who i am.

you say wow
that's ****** up
and
you're surprised that i'm offended
now
that's ****** up.

it seems that we all get left,
weather it be alone
or for a short period of time,
at some point you're by yourself.

sitting with nothing but your mind,
offering no help,
you are utterly alone.

no one can help you,
the desperation you feel
your innermost being
bereft of any feelings of joy.

a husk until the one who you worship
returns to rescue you
and your mind
from the hopeless corner
in which you stow yourself
when they leave.

disoriented is the o n l y
word for your feeling without
the holder of your
s a n i t y.

your touch holds me down,
you keep me from floating
away,
into the sea of self destruction.

i need you to keep me,
on your beach
away from all sharks and danger
that lurks below the surface.

but, you must go soon,
and with you, you'll take my soul
leaving me breathless and dried out,
so i'll go to the water
just for a sip, and fall in head first.

your memory will keep me alive,
but your voice isn't there to lure me back.
so that's where i'll stay, until you dive in
to take me back.

sleep only comes to the deserving
the ones who have earned their rest.

not greedy little children
without a care in the world
begging to stay up
just five more minutes.

but the ones who barely make it by
the ones who cherish the little sleep
they get between jobs
the impoverished
who need it the most.

sleep comes to the deserving.

i want to hear the stories
that ****** expressions silently tell,
how they came to be
who they are.

the ***** face of a  child
with wet streaks running down it,
what's their tale.

the tragedies of the small
inconsequential things
that matter so much to a child
of six.

and the worn face
with folds and a lifetime of stories
caught in the wrinkles.

what has he seen,
war?
or heartbreak? left without
a wife.

just waiting for death
to take him too.

i can't say that you're perfect,
but,
neither am i.

that doesn't stop me though
from loving you like you are
the most flawless specimen
i have ever encountered.

pushing me until i'm irate
is a favorite pastime,
but staying mad
while looking at your oceanic
eyes,
well
that's impossible.