They've said, it's like drowning..
but you can see everyone else around you breathing
and nobody knows you're drowning

but for me, I know
everyone can see me drowning
I know they do
I can see it in their eyes
they don't know what to do

their words are empty
they look at me like an abomination
as if its it my fault I'm this way

Why can't you just snap out of it?
You just need to change your ways
as if it were that simple
just a pill
just a magic trick

they're scared because I've stopped pretending
that I'm okay
I can see it in their eyes
they don't know what to do

what can they do?

I'm tired,
And weak.
There are bruises on me,
Ones that seem to come from no where.
I'm always achy,
And my head never seems to stop hurting.
I sleep more.
I eat less.
I'm tried,
And weak,
But more than any of that,
I'm scared.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately.
Questioning my sanity,
If you will.
You don't realize what you've done,
Do you?
You don't see what you've done.

Remember the time
You told me about when you were almost struck by lightning.
And then,
The results.
Your superpowers,
As you called them.
You'll never know how thankful I was for those
As the years went by.

You told me about the ghosts.
The little girl and boy
Who came to you for help.
She died in a barn,
That used to be in your backyard I think,
And needed your help.
She was your favourite, I could tell;
You talked about her a lot.
She slept in your bed sometimes, you told me.
But you couldn't communicate with her,
So you couldn't help her.
And that was that.

I told you about my ghosts.
My grandparents I've talked to,
And whatever evil is living in the guest room.
How my cats slink around my house
Like they're still alive.
Like the sounds I hear for no reason
And no explanation.

You envied me for that.
That I could hear them.
Because all you could do was see.

We were the only ones who believed each other.
Even when we hated each other,
And that was a long span of time,
We could still bond over this.
When no one else listened,
We did.
We were the only ones who understood.

I guess it's obvious enough that the phrase
"I see dead people"
Was tossed around a lot between us.
Because we could
And we knew it
And it scared us
And we loved it.

Until you stopped loving it.
And you claimed insanity.
You told me it was all in your head,
That you'd made it up
Because you're crazy.

So,
That's why  I've been calling myself crazy lately.
Because the only thing I trusted to understand me
Is telling me he's insane.
Who's to say I'm not the same?

I can not fit inside of a snow globe, not when I do not have
My magic cakes. My name is not Alice, either.

It's funny, those mirror images. Small bracelets of macaroni-turned jewels,
Costly and pointless. Plastic race cars that mom and dad bought me
Zooming around and breaking vases that once
Held cigarette ash. Flowers wrote an essay on lung cancer,
A peer who, on a high night, was put into the vase.
Flora lungs are surreal.
Imagine a flower the shape of me: my blue hair and eyes the petals and bud,
My body a stem and lungs are the leaves,
Ripped out of my sternum and strewn into the antigravity that surrounds me.
A mirror image in another world,
But somehow not the same. Like nuns and ****** both
Screaming to God as their **** are groped and abused.
Collisions with the coffee table tip the coughing flower and let sailors tug on the ropes,
Sailing on the sea of liquid ash and sing "yo-no yo-**" all the way to the white carpet.
A memorial. To the woman who was saved hereby flashing lights and muffled sirens,
The drugs were too heavy.

And then we sit playing scrabble and watching the news. Oh that poor girl.
It doesn't matter though. It is far enough away to only think of palindromes to click in the
Plastic squares, a perfect fit for a triple word score.
But the score doesn't matter. It is what the word represents.
Reviver: one who brings back.
A necromancer? The zombified critters under the stairs because you felt bad about killing them.
They ate your food, but you conducted a mass ****** with that sweet poison that crystallizes
Their blood. Their parallel selves are still alive aren't they? The realms are separated by a thread,
Nothing more, so why must they be dead?

Why must they be characters in a movie? Everything is a lie, even the
Letters laid on the game board.
The words we speak is a made up language, the god most believe in
Is a figment of imagination. And so is mine. They are just creatures
Written in a book by drunken sailors, man himself,
Or warped versions of a goddess created by hags, high of of the leaves
Vining in their flowerbeds. Clouds came down because of the warm brandy and
Smoke from their pipes, polluted and *****.
Fog does not belong here, this Christmas, but at least it will mask the brick wall that
Everyone seems to crash into.
It is a theory of course; people with glass skulls and hollow brains won't live through it,
But it is worth a shot. No one knows whether you will be crushed, or the wall.
On the other side, the other half of the world, the mirrored side,
Exactly the same as the one behind. Nothing new, but everything to see. You haven't looked until
You've seen the opposite of yourself.

Ignorance has become a new fashion: the dresses on the red carpet and the
Black mascara on the TV screen. We write things as epiphanies come,
While they are out there making fools of themselves in their transparent or
Nonexistent clothing and neon underwear.

I imagine all of the people in Tome Square, even though I have never been.
The daily routines and mechanical gossip about the ******* celebrities that run their lives
And the stench of portable hot dog carts. You are a numerator of what you could be.
Wake up... You're dreaming. Try harder, you can't run faster after you have
Stepped in quicksand. You are so stupid! Look ahead! Watch for things before they come,
You are too impulsive!ay attention to others for once, it is not all about you.
Truth has become a new fashion: faded jeans and thick sweatshirts. Those of us
Who understand and seek nothing from others;
They are not worth it.

Dimes times, dimes times
A little better off than Lennie's pennies
Grimes threw thymes, fines
For thin lines
Into the giving ***,

Crime slimes, crime slimes
Poorer than peeling off ***** pauper
Wines and dines, limes
For fat kinds,
Into the waiting rot

Mines mine, mines mine
Sames the games we've all been playing
Shines sharp pines, rhein
Same all the time,
Unto the wading well
.