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432 · Dec 6
glances
derek Dec 6
lost in your eyes
i find myself confused on what to do
i caught a glimpse of you,
now im spiralling into demise.
it took one glance and i was cooked bruh
82 · Dec 6
apollos day
derek Dec 6
the day they worshipped the sun god
the day i worship you.
regardless of if you’re aware, you occupy my thoughts.
51 · Dec 6
i’m sorry
derek Dec 6
i couldnt hold myself back,
i searched to meet your eyes
i just wanted you to know.
i don’t think you even saw me.
47 · Dec 6
illusions
derek Dec 6
i’m reminded
every tree, flower, bug
every season
every weather condition
you’ve mapped a way
so deep into my head
and i couldn’t even begin
to try to forget.
womp womp might just pull a hannah baker
derek Dec 6
do you long for him
like you longed for me?
is he who you dream of?
or wake up thinking about?
it still makes my skin crawl
and my stomach weak
my heart still hurts
why? it’s been two years.
41 · Dec 6
cross the street
derek Dec 6
please hold my hand
while we cross the street
please take my jacket
because you’re too cold
you’ve been waiting a while
i’m here to hold your hand
41 · Dec 6
fuck .
derek Dec 6
i’m still suffering from withdrawals.
i’m constantly looking for things to fill the void that was left when i forced you to leave.
41 · Dec 6
time
derek Dec 6
who are you now?
i ask the once familiar
now strange silhouette
time has forced us
to grow and change
who are you now?
what has changed?
we’ve both changed and grown, what’s different?
40 · Dec 6
mourning
derek Dec 6
if they asked me about you
on a normal day
i’d tell them
we had a good run
that it was a mutual agreement
we were better apart

if they slipped me a blunt
and asked me again?
i’d tell them
that i regret never being
the man you wanted
that i ruined
the purest love
id ever found

id tell them,
it was always you,
it always has been,
it always will be.

even if we can’t be.
screaming crying throwing up
20 · Dec 6
oh
derek Dec 6
oh
i miss you,
please don’t reach out.
i saw the sunset
and thought of you
please don’t reach out.
i found an old hoodie of yours
nestled in the back of my closet
please dont reach out.
you’re the only consistent thought
lurking around in my mind
please don’t reach out.
you’re all i think about.
please don’t reach out.
please don’t reach out.
please don’t reach out.
i’m losing my mind but you’re doing better and that’s all i want.

— The End —