I hate looking at street lights when I'm alone.

The day that I  want things to change,
when i want my parents gone,
when i don't want to remember the favorite songs of my friends
when the day comes that i don't want to think about your
scent that is truly unique, and about everything you have drawn
on your skin, oh God, the day I need to believe in You,
When the things at night stop shaking me awake and I don't have to cry about everything that ever was I'm forgetting everything and i cry harder than before
When I stop feeling the way I am now,


I'm putting steel to flesh.
Hammer to bone
rope to neck
poison to lips
cold steel underfoot wind tearing away at my clothes and hair as my fingers are holding tight and bloodless as my last way back to earth

I'll jump.
(I already want to leave)

Now That I Know what the color of your eyes are
from such a close distance our eyelashes tangle,

Now That I Know what your hair feels like,
silky so my hands slip through and I have to keep
weaving my fingers inandout, overandover, lest i forget  
how rare a feeling it is,

Now That I Know that the same lyrics run laps in your head
and you see them written over the faces of everyone you see,
making them more beautiful for our own sake,

Now That I Know,
Please,

Don't Try To Make Me Forget

i unzipped my ribcage
did you enjoy sloshing through everything i am?
waist deep in a current likely to **** you under
do not come under
i am nauseous of the rhythm from these same waves
they pull me in and fill my lungs
when i cough i swallow more
i am succumbing to
less of who
i thought
i was

i will spend forever editing
erasing
trying to forget you
you
you are here
you are killing
me burning
my good thoughts, the
cure is death
everything i make and do
i regret
we broke everything
i am swimming in
us.
but we never had anything more than
you standing far away,
and i
alone