They don't remember
The pain of a broken
Heart
Dream
Reality
Hope
They don't understand the
Loss
Hurt
Pain
Suffering
But they also don't remember the
Love
Friendship
Innocence
Ignorance
So they don't remember
What it is like to be a
Teenager
So when they give you advice
It is outdated and useless
But they give it anyway
So when you are hurting
Don't go to your parents
Go to your friends
Or siblings
Anyone from this generation
Because while they say its just a phase
And that it will pass
We are living in it
Us, not them
They forget that
They always do
*Always

Every day
Day after day
I hear yelling and screaming
About the same ****
College and money
But not between my parents
Only between my sister
And my father
He doesn't
Give a **** about me
I am the youngest
The one in the shadows
The one left to fend for herself
They already have
The perfect child
My brother covered that
My sister is the
*****-up
So what am I
Left to be...

I am front and center
Everyone is looking at me
I feel my heart pounding
I see my hands shaking
They expect so much
When I have so little
The silence
Has never been so loud
They tell me to begin
Thats when I forget
Everything I am supposed to remember
Why do they expect so much?

The judge looks at me
Waiting  for me to begin
I look around the crowded room
And I begin
Lucky to have the script in my hand
Everything flows back
I am no longer me
I am the person in my poems
They don't want me
They want her
That is how I win
To be anything
and everything
But myself

As I finish
I leave mouths open
I leave tears running down faces
I look around one more time
With the pained expression still evident
I bow and as I unbend
There is a small smile
Across my face
The rupture of applause
Is nothing compared to
The blood pounding In my ears

As I sit down
I get high-fives
And approving nods
They smile at me
Because they think I was just acting
But behind every act
There is truth

Am I suddenly not good enough?
Am I really that desperate?
Am I pushy and annoying?
Am I unworthy of your love?
Am I unworthy of your presence?

I
Guess
I
Am

I am not good enough
I am really that desperate
I am pushy and annoying
I am unworthy of your love
I am unworthy of your presence

Really must you hate me?
You are too good for me
Am I unwanted?
Never will I live again

When I walk down the street
I see people everywhere
Rushing from place
To place
Not looking
At the corruption around them
The corruption is not evident
nor obvious
It is masked by the
beauty of the
Electrical lights
But really
This beauty
Is the most unhumane
Thing that humans
Have created
It has no emotions
Nor regrets
No needs
Or wants
And is comepletely
Submissive to
Us humans
And our power
Our undeserved power
Over all things
We abuse our power
Unfairly treat
The things that are unlike us
Our pets
Are just that
They get no respect
They have no dignity
And our gardens
Are horrible
Because we are taming
Chaos
And we don't have the right
We even use our power against other humans
That are unlike us
Because of color or origin
Or just the way or what we speak
And also because of what we do or do not believe
Us humans, we claim to be different
Than the wild animals
We claim we are civilized
And polite
Or empathetic
And caring
But really
We are the same as the animals
**Only the strong survive

When I am in the water
Completely submerged
I laugh at the people who wish to fly
Because when I am swimming
The water is my sky
And I am a ******* bird