I poured out my heart and soul to you
In the corner of the first floor bedroom
Spilled the secrets

You smiled, wary,
Of broken hearts and broken bones
Of broken souls on the mend
An easy life is a hard one, but, you
hadn't quite figured that out yet.

You took me in your arms,
A confident man, with good posture
Convinced me that your care was all I needed
And, oh, I believed you until you broke my soul anew

He might be going to another school
**** him, **** the school with an actual application,
He's smarter than me, for sure.
But can't we be together forever?

If I'm going to a good university on a scholarship,
Instead of a ****** cheap college, I'm going to need good grades
Where the **** am I going to get those?
My parents can't afford school funds
They spend ten grand on renovations
But now they don't have anything for our educations
Wow, thanks Mom.

I rubbed globs of Vix into the bridge of my nose this morning
It burns a bit, makes my eyes water
But it feels good

Am I suicidal because of that?
I don't think so, I don't ever want to die
I don't like pain, either, which rules out a lot of suicide methods
Unless you think Vix is super painful. I don't.

But I'm fat, stupid and ******
And if I got a %50 on a math test
The girls in my class talk about it behind my back
And laugh, even wondering
"How did she even get into eighth grade?"

My best friend told me about that, which I'm grateful for,
But I forgot to ask if she'd stood up for me.
I bet she didn't, she probably laughed with them
Because she's got a nice, cozy spot in the Populars.
Who wants to risk that?

I want to find my portable CD player
It's been missing for months,
but I'll just borrow my sisters and go for a walk.
I'll need to put on a shirt first.