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Grim Princess Jun 2013
just imagination, they had said.
"psychotic depression,"
was the name they gave you
but it's just
a label
only something to be called by
because simple
human words
can't describe
the relationship we really share
your darkness
fits me perfectly
pulling me down
into the beautiful
black abyss
deeper i sink
and you remind me
that it'll be better
further down
when I'm fully consumed by
your dark perfume
and I give into the temptation
to be with you,
forever.
Grim Princess Jun 2013
'mama, why are the angels crying?'

with the sweet drops
of liquid hope
down, down
coating my face
dripping hair
feeling the water
wash away my inner demons
for the moment.
feeling the earth
dark and mystic
cryptic and damp
magick is free
and the earth is playful.
so I'll sit in the rain
letting it wash away my troubles
until the sun shines through
my little wet world of magick
the warmth doesn't always bring good
and the light doesn't
shine through my eternal darkness
let the angels cry
because their tears
only bring me peace.
Grim Princess Jun 2013
rainy days and getaways
I wish that I could've stayed
my heart is with you anyways

gloomy minds and darker times
like leaving you was such a crime
and now youre most of my life

shedding tears, bigger fears
of you never being here
because the future's hardly clear

faking smiles, wet floor tiles
thinking of our travelled miles
but our memories are neatly filed

wetter days and short getaways
wishing that we could have stayed
but my heart is with you anyways.
Grim Princess Jun 2013
I want to be gone

I want to be six feet under

I want a bullet through my head

and pills in my blood

I want slashed wrists 

streaking the tile

and a chair tipped over

so I can hang like a decoration

I want suicide

and suicide wants me.
Grim Princess Jun 2013
I felt it
creeping through my fog
white and shining
treading the light
kicking away the gray
nipping at my toes
but I couldn't stop the black
from tickling its fingers
up my spine
funny, how such
simple words
can turn this lovely white mist
into a deep
black
hole.
and now
I'm walking on ink
staining not only
my heels
but my worn out
heart
how could I believe
that something could really
go perfectly?
I was treading the light
but now I'm drowning
in darkness.
Grim Princess Jun 2013
inhale.

cloudy brain
lifted thoughts
not quite out of the gray
but fingertips brushing white
treading water
in a safe distance from the ground
the wind
beneath my inhaled wings
slowly drifting
among the clouds in my
brain.

exhale.
Grim Princess Jun 2013
I am lifted
above my monsters
away from the voices
and temptations
up above all things
dark
lonely
triggering.
with letters on a keyboard
trying to put my state
into carefully organized
words
though this isn't
really
what I truly wanted
while now I am in
a cloud of glowing white
I wanted to go
down
and sink into the earth
into its crust
to shake hands
with the
devil.
I wave at my monsters from
above
and while I know
my gut misses them
and
so does my heart
my brain is clawing
at my mind
telling me that
I shouldn't miss them
because then
you'll be normal
and stop stressing them all out
like they told us
'just be happy'
funny how the only
thing
that could make me
happy-ish
is a puff
of a sweet herb
or a snort
of cloud powder
funny.
for now
ill stay in my cloud
a little bubble
of feeling almost whole
for a while
before the pull
back to
reality
is too touch for
the big M to battle
but it will be fine
because
It's there
waiting for me
to step back into its dark embrace
and succumb
to my own demons.
Grim Princess Jul 2013
when is it my turn?
I'm always waiting
staring at the stars
like they're staring back
but they're aimed
at anyone else
but me
I'm the brightest in the room
but the darkest soul
and nobody listens
to me scream
in this world of people
noticeable but unnoticed
by anyone with a mind
so I'll keep waiting
for it to be my turn
if it ever comes at all.
Grim Princess Jun 2013
lonely girl
loved by no one
but small metal pieces
and the knowledge of her own disgrace

lonely life
lead by the dark path
set before her by an even darker mind
and an equally as dark past

lonely heart
shattered and repaired many times before
hanging by the thinnest of threads
frayed and seconds from breaking

lonely eyes
happy but hopeless
with a nice hint of depression
buried deep inside

lonely girl
forever loved by no one
but those small, metal pieces
and the truth of her own disgrace.
Grim Princess Jun 2013
do you miss me?
will you miss me at all?
because my body is withering
almost as quickly as my willpower
my heart is slowly darkening
death slowly runs along my spine
seducing me with its grim smile
I'm giving in
because anything is better than this
death seems so lovely
and six feet under
has a much better view of the world
than living above ground
and seeing smiles of people
that I know will never love me
so I'll slip away
and give in to my dark lover
falling down into a grave
will you miss me at all?
-M.
Grim Princess Jun 2013
-M.
I love the way
you make my brain float
a never ending trail of white
with fallen leave clouds
and rose petal air

I adore how you
fill we with warmth
tingles in my veins
with feathers to cushion me
and a smoke induced high

you comfort me
and remind me of life
what it's like to be happy
and vibrate with the magick of the night
carrying me up into the calm

I'm so grounded yet flying so high
I feel like touching clouds
but the earth is just under me
while I'm calm beyond compair
and my monsters are safely hidden

don't you love the way
you make me feel?
so high up above the darkness inside me
treading the fallen leave clouds,
and caressing the rose petal air.
Grim Princess Jun 2013
Made up and ready

Lipstick perfect, hair curled

Eyeliner unsmeared

Dress sparkly as ever

But today is the day

So the dress is stained with red

Laying down on the floor

Bleeding out with pills in her hand

Beautiful prom princess

So young but too old

Empty bottle beside her

Fading, fading,
almost gone

Eyes closed, slipping away

Makeup still perfect

She’s leaving now

To sleep peacefully,
forever.
Grim Princess Jun 2013
why
does it have to be
so
****
hard?
I miss it
I miss the fire in my veins
the adrenaline
I miss the feel of steel kisses
grazing my arm
and touching my veins
I miss the darkness, so romantic
begging me to give in
pleading with me,
"just one more"
I miss the thrill,
and the rush of feeling
something that isn't emptiness
for once.
I miss it.
but I can't return to my cold lover
because if they found out
they'd take me away from you
and then,
my soul would truly become black.
why is it so hard?
Grim Princess Jun 2013
I died not so long ago
not with a blade, or a gun
I died from feeling.
Or rather, so much of it.
 
Maybe it's just a mental shut down.
Or a simple break away from all of this
because I feel so numb inside,
And everything looks bleak.
 
I died. And now all that's left is hollow eyes
I can feel a heart, beating through my chest
Such a small symbol.
it's the only thing that reminds me Im still technically living.
 
I wonder if there's a word for this
because depression.. Just doesn't fit.
Its not mortal death, my blood would disprove any theory.
It's.. The lack of a soul. Emotion.
 
Not saying I'm completely soulless, No.
But I'm overly far gone.
Most definitely withered away,
And I don't think I'll come back this time.
 
I don't feel human at all
Because humans, they can actually feel.
I died not too long ago,
And now I'm just a shell.
Grim Princess Jun 2013
I wish I could believe
that love exists for me
but then I remember
all I read in my books
is just ink on a page
and a thought in my brain
praying that it could be real for me,
but the World continues
to show me fantasy
is just that; a fantasy, a dream
but I'll keep looking
for my storybook prince
dark eyes, dark mind
that brings light to my equally dark soul
and reminds me
that magic may truly exist
in this messed up world of ours
and just maybe
ill finally believe
that love exists for me.
Grim Princess Jun 2013
caught in this
too real of a reality
where I'm forced
to look
in the eye
of my monsters
shake their hand
and say
'nice to see you again'.
when
salvation is so close
just a little smoke
a little *****
a little sniff
anything to
get
me
out
of
this
place
because I'm suffocated
by my nightmares
and beaten
by my own harsh consciousness
I need a release
something my
too busy brain
can't fight against
for once
so I'm reaching out
for a taste of a monster
bigger than my own
to drag me away
from
my
own
reality.
Grim Princess Jun 2013
I breathe in the darkness
and exhale the withdrawal
letting the emptiness sink in
before my thoughts turn to black

a tightness in my chest
vise grip on my heart
and voices in my head
telling me to just do it already

I'm suicidal.
nothing more than that.
my body craves bloodshed
and my neck craves a rope

soon Ill just be a hanging ornament
a melancholic decoration
to fuel the melody of tears
and soothe my own pain

suicide.
seven simple letters
that mean so much to a broken soul
that's only mend is death.
Grim Princess Jun 2013
sitting here
staring at these boring beige walls
with someone staring back at me
as I try to put my thoughts into words
don't sound stupid
no desperation
no neediness
no attention
being analyzed is an interesting thing
because you can feel the ****
of knowledgable eyes in your brain
so your walls go up
stop staring at me
because help doesn't exist
when you don't want it
and there is no cure
for the monsters in my brain
tearing
ripping
clawing at my psyche
whispering
sweet nothings into my subconscious
bland, practiced words stream out of my mouth
bubbling over with the dull tone of indifference
boredom
and ultimately,
cringe-worthy sadness.
if only you could actually understand
that the monsters are my friends
their darkness inspires me
reminds me of the heaven
found six feet below my own heels
now I'm standing,
with a rehearsed smile on my mask
and a hollow 'thank you'
before I return to the beige walls
Grim Princess Jun 2013
I'm screaming and waiting for someone to hear
But nobody listens, in this room full of people
Nobody cares, in this small, tiny world.
Most of all, Nobody wants to.
 
Looking at this dark storm is too much to bear
And I'm waiting for that crack of lightning 
Just to see if there's any such thing as light anymore
Because there's no air for any fire.
 
Searching for all these answers I can't reach
And I just don't know anything at all
Because I'm far too young to experience this
I mean, I'm only sixteen
 
I'm trying not to cry about how much I miss home
But I think back and remember the smiles
And how they're so far away now
Just pacing out of my reach
 
I don't even know how to word my feelings anymore
Just a scribble of jibberish on this keyboard
Waiting for the night to end so the torture can resume
Waiting for that final breath that'll never reach me
 
I'm just curled in this ball to find warmth
Because outside this dark room is much more black
The air is so thick with this sadness
I wish I could fall through and forget it all
 
I've lost control because I don't know what's real anymore
And these soft whispered words aren't reaching my mind
Any melody is far too fast for me to handle
This music haunts me to sleep.
 
Trying to restrain myself from this growing need
I've lost track of everything rational
Trying to return to the normal plane I'm supposed to be on
Nothing physical makes sense anymore.
 
I'm trying to leave my mind here, in this place
Something so familiar yet unrecognizable past this hurt
I can't stay here much longer before I fade away completely
I'm trying, I'm trying, just let me be.
 
I'm yearning for that comfortable feeling,
Like when it was warm and happy, no sadness or scars
Because this house isn't a home at all
And I think I'm going insane.

I'm calling and nobody seems to hear
nobody listens, in this room full of people
Nobody cares, in this small world.
and most of all, nobody ever wants to.
Grim Princess Jun 2013
I feel like a zombie

Dead and gone

Too far out to even try to bring back

As if anyone would try, anyways.


I feel like nobody cares anymore

They don’t care if I’m here or out there

If I’m here or gone

If they don’t care, then why should I?


I want to be gone.

Gone seems so peaceful

Quiet

Nice.


Death is beautiful to me.
I’ve thought about it in a romantic way since I was seven years old.
But hey, I’m just a ******.

I’m just a statistic.

That’s what everyone tells me

Nothing more than a name on a screen,

Or a number on a board.


Nothing.

More.
Ever.
I feel worthless.


Maybe I should help myself escape into that mysterious abyss

Noose, blades, pills galore.

It’s romantic.

Then ill really be a zombie.

— The End —